When did leaving primary school become such a big thing?

[usernother]

I left my primary school in the early 1970's. We had no leavers disco, no special assembly, no graduation ceremonies, no transition days to new high school, nothing. I can't remember my Mum mentioning anything about it. Other than getting my uniform and things that were needed for high school, that's all the input my parents had. Now I can see my SM awash with parents saying how emotional they are about their children leaving primary, one said she cried all the way to the leavers assembly and all the way through it. When did it change to being such a big thing?

I left primary in 2000 and we had a trip to the seaside, a leavers BBQ on the playing field and signed uniforms. I think I still have my signed summer dress somewhere

I left primary in the early 90's and we did everything in your list except the graduation ceremony. I do agree that is ott but the rest isn't. Graduation ceremonies seem to be a bit of a thing now - we just had one for DD leaving nursery!

Primary school is just the loveliest time, with kinder teachers and just a fun place to learn. Seniors just gets more serious!

my eldest DD will have all of her friends with her at Seniors but she won’t have her teachers who she loves and will miss very very much.

I left primary school in the late 80s. It wasn’t a big deal at all. We might have had a leavers assembly but I can’t remember. It wouldn’t have been anything but a goodbye though. Never had a leavers disco. I think I just walked home with my two best friends and that was that.

In the ‘90s we had:

transition day
leavers disco
special assembly

so in answer to your question, it changed over 30 years ago!

The graduation ceremonies and proms seem a lot newer, though, and are imports from the US.

Lets ban leaving cards and presents when people move jobs (after it’s only a transition and a waste of money you won’t see them again)

Birthday cards and Christmas cards just go in the bin after a week, what’s the actual point of them?

Should we even celebrate birthdays? They come round every year, seem a bit OTT, it’s not even the person’s birthday who did the hard work (should the mother get more of the lime light?) Birthdays use to be a celebration you lived another year but with more modern medication it’s less important surely?

I left primary in the mid 70's. "leavers day" consisted of an extra 10 minutes playtime at lunch, during which time I fell off the monkey bars and broke my arm.

Because now everything has to be a drama. I too left primary in the early 70s. Left on the last day by saying bye to the teachers, and getting excited to go to the senior school. Mind you I was a military child so moved every 2.5 years. And just got on with it. God know how most children would cope with that nowadays. Military children must be made of really stern stuff...

It’s completely OTT. My DC’s primary has had about 8 things and the kids are all exhausted. Lots of tears of tiredness and just wanting to get on with it.
not all children find these events “nice things”… at our school it has been a never-ending stretching out of a normal transition

I came on to say this. Lovely to celebrate your children but it also seems like another big expectation and event that will make lots of kids anxious. We need to dial stuff down for kids and just let them be.

We got our hymn books signed and that was it. 1993.

My DC are late 20s and I don’t remember them having anything. I might ask them. I left in mid-70s and obviously had nothing. Stupid to say “it’s always been a thing” because clearly that doesn’t apply in any situation.

I agree nowadays it’s all about the drama - and of course the purchasing.

My age group was the last to attend year 7 in junior/primary school so when I left to go to secondary it was two year groups moving up! We had a huge party and a water fight.

We only really signed shirts/dresses and had an end of year party for years 5 and 6 (in the mid-90s), but lots of my new Y7 classmates at secondary had hoodies with the names of all leavers and talked about their leavers' ceremony/disco etc. It was probably a bit more low key for us because my primary was a teeny village school - if we'd had hoodies they would have had literally six names on them haha! Likewise a disco with just us six wouldn't have been much fun. Looking back I can also see that our teachers spent extra time 1-to-1 with each of us in the week or two before the end of term to talk about our fears and give us a confidence boost/try to make the transition sound more exciting than scary etc.

I do think having a big expensive prom is OTT but moving to secondary is a big deal for most kids and I don't see anything wrong in marking it as such. I remember being really quite distraught at the 'end of an era' and having a little cry about never seeing our wildlife garden or the horse in the field next to the school or my favourite teacher again (I was a very dramatic/emotional child!). I was also extremely nervous about going from such a tiny, friendly primary to a massive secondary in the city which only one of my Y6 classmates was also going to (and even then in a different Y7 class). So it was nice to have that acknowledged.

Primary school is a huge part of their lives for 7 years though, the children have often bonded with certain teachers in that time and sometimes - particularly if the child's had a more difficult time of school - so have the parents. Not to mention school friends. It's the same as leaving do's for work colleagues which are a fairly common idea. It's also a big milestone that reminds parents of how much their child has grown in what often feels like a really short space of time. So I can understand them feeling quite emotional, I think making leaving an exciting, happy time is a good memory to give the children - I do think parents should keep their emotions a little more private in case it makes the children worry more about starting secondary school though.

What? When has that changed? Did year 7 used to go to primary school?

You are at primary school for 7 years maybe some label them differently?

I drove past a nursery school yesterday morning.
Outside in the garden rows of proud parents on seats watching their 4yo graduate complete with mortar board and gown.
Looked very sweet, and harmless, but definitely part of the trend of pushing older experiences down to lower ages.

Yes! I moved up to secondary as a year 8!
Would have been 97?

We had a school disco- but none of the pomp that seems a requirement now. I really think it's daft- much like nursery graduation you don't actually have to achieve anything, you just have to keep going to school.

We had had those things in the 80s, but they were not as hyped.

There was a leavers dance, we visited the big school, primary had a prize giving/bye assembly but I don't remember parents being there.

There is this trend, drive by needy adults, just now to make everything an"event" that is social media worthy and it is just too much pressure on kids. No wonder they are so screwed up.

I know. I left primary in 1974 and don't even remember the last day. I was probably just happy to have seven weeks of freedom.

It wouldn't have occurred to us to make a fuss. When ds left in 2019, they had a leavers sweatshirt with all the names on, but that was all. Some of us went to the park for an hour but mostly just relief term was over. DS wanted to go home, kick off his uniform and go cycling.

I wasn't emotional, just glad it was summer and seven weeks without school run.

But some people seem to like the fuss.

My mum was a primary school teacher, she used to get loads of presents from the kids at Christmas and end of year during the 80s and 90s. It was definitely a thing then.

I left primary in 1990. I can’t remember a disco but I remember signing shirts and autograph books and I think we had a leavers assembly. Whilst I don’t think we had a full transition day, I remember going to my new school to meet my new form tutor.

It might have ramped up a bit but I think leaving primary has been a fairly big deal for a long time and rightly so.

Left primary school in about 1987/88 (can’t work out the dates in my head!)

We had a transition day where we looked around the schools we were going to. No special organised leavers assembly, no shirt signing (that was leaving high school), definitely no hoodies. I have a vague recollection of a school disco happening once, my sister thinks they might have been allowed to being in board games from home. There wasn’t a big fuss made.

We always gave teachers end of year presents.

By 1996 leaving high school, we signed shirts / autograph books and had a prom.

Feels like there are a lot of people (not all) on the thread saying they did a lot for leaving primary in the 90s, but not so many from 80s or earlier? Maybe that’s when it started changing?

My eldest just left infant school so had only been there three years but I still felt a wrench. It’s a tiny, community run village school so as a parent you are very involved, it has been a big part of our lives for the past three years.

His teacher had had his class for the past two years and is brilliant, she was quietly crying in the corner at occasions. I think as parents we forget how close these children and teachers become. They spend hours together each day, and we can tend to blank it out as we aren’t there to see it. If someone took you away from your group of best friends, work colleagues and a work routine you enjoyed, you would find it a big deal too.

It’s closing a chapter on infancy, there’s no kidding myself anymore that my 7 year old isn't past that early years chapter anymore. Everything is much more grown up when they move into their Y3 and beyond schools, and while he is completely ready for it, it is a big “where one door closes another door opens” lesson that even as an adult I find hard to trust sometimes.

also, I think school is different than when I was at it in the 90’s. I remember feeling euphoric when the final bell rang in y6, and thinking thank god I never have to go to this school again. The teachers were hard and shouted at us all the time, bullying had to be really serious to be considered bullying and dealt with. The children at my kids current school are just all so happy, and the teachers are so kind and inclusive. It must be hard to move on from such a positive environment into a new unknown.