When did leaving primary school become such a big thing?

[usernother]

I left my primary school in the early 1970's. We had no leavers disco, no special assembly, no graduation ceremonies, no transition days to new high school, nothing. I can't remember my Mum mentioning anything about it. Other than getting my uniform and things that were needed for high school, that's all the input my parents had. Now I can see my SM awash with parents saying how emotional they are about their children leaving primary, one said she cried all the way to the leavers assembly and all the way through it. When did it change to being such a big thing?

It isn't dissimilar to nurseries who do graduation ceremonies 😱
They even have little gowns and mortar boards, cringe!

I don't get all the crying and wailing about leaving primary, you're either going to see most of them up at high school, or you can keep in touch via their phones.
Not like our day where you had to know where something lived to go and knock on to see if they were coming out 😂

Someone, not something 😬

I left primary in 2001 and we had a disco, shirt signing, leavers assembly and put on a Year 6 play.

The only thing I've seen that we didn't do was call it a graduation and dress up in cap and gown. I don't really see the harm in that though, it's just a bit of fun. People are so miserable, complaining that children want to do something silly and fun to celebrate a milestone.

I definitely bought end of year gifts for my primary teacher in the early 80s.

I don’t think we had a leavers event aa such at primary but by the time I was at secondary the end of school prom was creeping in.

I finished primary school in the 2000s. We had an end of year assembly, not specifically for leavers but the P7s always got a bit where they would all say their favourite memory from primary school. We got a disco. Not anything fancy, just a bunch of 11 year old jumping around the school gym listening to Cascada. We signed shirts on the last day. We also had two days of "bump up day" where we spent all day at our secondary school attending classes. I think that's good. Makes the first day less daunting.

I was so sad on the last day. I really loved that school. I still do.

I don't like these school graduations though. I spent four years waiting for my uni graduation. It wouldn't have been so exciting if I'd had one at primary school.

I left primary school in the early 80s and there wasn’t any acknowledgment of what a huge transition it would be. But I think I was on the cusp of a big societal shift as well - children’s feelings generally weren’t taken into account at all then, and I think when my generation became parents we were the first generation (in the UK at least) to focus on what children might need rather than just telling them what to do and expecting them to ‘just get on with it’.

Primary proms might be a bit OTT and of course social media has made curated, perfect ‘moments and memories’ a not-always-helpful thing. But in general I think the shift to childhood being seen as important, including understanding that they need understanding, empathy, explanation and acknowledgement of big moments in their little lives is a vast improvement on having zero of all that growing up in the 70s/early 80s.

I had a leavers assembly & that was it I think, all these ridiculous parents standing outside clapping, cheering & crying need to get a life it’s absolutely ridiculous & cringeworthy. I suspect there is a leavers disco but I agree it’s completely ott. Thing is most kids have forgotten about primary school a week into the summer holidays anyway & most memories are of secondary school so not sure why all the drama over primary

I loved my leavers period in year 6. Every year the staff all worked really hard for the year 6 children to put on a show. One year had Fame, another had Oliver and my year group did Joseph and his Technicolour Dream Coat. They were fabulous plays and they even recorded them and gave them out as a dvd when we left.

We also had a leavers assembly and a little prom in the hall. None of it felt OTT. It was lovely.

I felt very sad because it was the end of an era. I had been at that school since I was 3 years old and was sad to leave. I got over it tho and settled well at secondary school.

I felt sad when my little one left reception because I knew then that his learning through play had ended. He wasn't going to have that experience again. Transitions are a great thing, but I think it's important to remember that there are different feelings behind them and different reasons for those feelings.

I was born in 1969, so left school in the 80's and I can't remember doing anything at middle school or secondary school after we left.

I just remember a massive gang of us going to our local town on the bus on the last day.

There probably was some sort of assembly but at nearly 55 my memory has gone.

I do agree that the parents need to take responsibility for a lot of the drama. It's not going to help the kids who are nervous about secondary seeing their parents crying through leavers assembly.

I had a leaver's disco from primary and I may have looked round my high school. That was late 70s.

Had no leaver's assembly, disco or prom from high school. Just shirt signing and throwing flour (never knew why).

Same here.
I left primary in 1995.

In the mid 90s we had a leavers concert, assembly in the church and disco! It was emotional, a huge deal for me as I was the only one going to my secondary school, going from a small village school I could walk to a (seemingly) huge one that I had to get the bus to alone. A true transition in my life so it seemed right it was marked. Don't remember my parents being emotional but maybe I just wasn't paying attention!

I found it weirder that we made a fuss in year 11, as almost everyone was continuing to sixth form in the same school. That 'celebration', prom etc was a bit of an anticlimax even at the time!

Plenty of children have pretend weddings where they dress up and role play - it doesn't make them any less excited for the real thing. A university graduation is something you want to do, it's something you have worked hard to achieve the results you receive and can quite rightly be very proud of yourself. Leaving primary school is something the majority of children are going to experience, it doesn't depend on their intelligence, or how much effort they put in or how hard they've worked, it's really not comparable and doesn't take away from the real thing. It's a bit of harmless role play.

My 4 year old 'graduated nursery this week - I have a funny picture of her making a silly face in a fake cap and gown and she got a little present as a goodbye gift from the staff who she's bonded with - I can safely say as a parent I won't be any less proud of her if she decides to go to university because she already graduated from nursery.

Ditto - slightly different years - although it was creeping in when my younger sisters left school 5 years later (teachers being bombarded with Avon and then bottles of plonk 😄)

Things change. I didn't organise anything myself but when the school / other parents do you go for your child's sake.

I left in 95. We didn't do anything either.

It's totally pointless comparing what happened when you left school 50 years ago.

We didn't have the internet then so why do you use it now? 🤷‍♀️

Whenever a normal event becomes a Big Occasion you can assume that someone, somewhere is making money out of it.

I left in 1984 and I've just realised that I can't even remember leaving, no recollection of last day at all. So can't have been that momentous!

I was at a Catholic primary in the 80’s, and definitely remember a leaver’s mass and some sort of concert with prize-giving ceremony for Year 6, and presentations for the teachers who were leaving, which parents attended - it was on the last day right at the end, so everyone went home afterwards with their parents which felt very strange, since we’d been going home on our own for years!

I can’t remember a disco, but there may have been one - we had a school disco at the end of every year.

Some people were signing shirts. We definitely didn’t have leavers hoodies, but I’m sure I would have liked one.

I left primary in the mid 80s and had a leavers disco and a transition week.

Our local school, where I am governor, had a leaver's concert in which the whole school from 3 year olds to year 6 took part. Whole school singing and playing their instruments (ocarina, recorder, banjo, violin, cello, saxophone - for a rural primary, the music is exceptional), and the year 6's, as per tradition, put on a skit of their own - it is always a secret and the staff have no idea what they might produce! - or whether they might be lampooned!

There were some tears - it is an emotional time saying goodbye to friends and teachers who have filled your life for so many years - but it was not allowed to get out of hand; and it was lovely to see the year 6s singing arm in arm with smiles on their faces.

It seemed entirely appropriate and was a joy to watch.

All the school then went up to picnic on the common and the woods and play on the playground there, and it was good to see them all letting their hair down and having fun together.

Left in 2007. We signed shirts and had a leavers assembly. It was enough, a prom would have been too much.

I left primary in 1980 in Glasgow. We had a "Qually Dance" which was even a thing back in the 1930s when my mum was at school (and we'd learnt and practised the dances - it was a ceilidh style event with food). People got asked to go with each other, we dressed up, got new outfits. It was a big deal.

We had a prize giving every year anyway so that was a bit special for all the P7s. Our school didn't have duxes - a few still did - but in my mum's day that was a common thing, someone effectively 'crowned' top of the school who would give a speech. My friend was dux of her school. There was shirt signing.

There was a transition day for the local secondary.

My kids had similar 5-10 years ago in England.

We had a leavers' assembly/show, shirt signing and a transition day to visit our secondary school.
It was quite low key and looking back I think it was the right amount of acknowledgement and marking the milestone without going overboard.

Like PP I often think a lot of the hype is the adults transferring their emotions to the children. They need us to be calm and stable figures. What message do they get about moving to secondary school if their key adults are weeping and getting dramatic about the whole thing?

I left primary school in the 90s, we had an assembly, a disco and we signed each others' shirts. We also did end of year teacher presents.