Salary to consider private

[Duckyneedsaclean]

Just wondering at what take home salary you would consider/be able to pay for a private school place?

We were hoping for a bursary but not been granted one - trying to figure out if we can afford full fees.

It's obviously harder to afford private school fees in London. But I have to say that £3,250 net after payment of mortgage and 2 lots of private school fees is still a very good household income. It's £10K above the average adult UK gross salary. There's plenty of room to have a nice lifestyle and make some savings out of that.

We are in the south east and can't afford it for 1 on £120k (huge mortgage). We'd need to release equity or borrow from family. Other people we know have funded it through inheritances or trust funds. Having a good proportion of fees in savings already makes it more doable.
Half the people I know who've gone private have done so due to mild SEN and needing a smaller, calmer school environment. In this case you do everything you can - the huge mainstream secondary near us breaks so many children who have vulnerabilities.

Best advice is to save £2k a month into savings account starting now. If in 6 months time you are still able to function financially then you have your answer. Leave that money there as back up in case of income loss in future. We are ok but not wealthy , DH has good income but not always regular, we have one Dc at private and I wouldn't feel comfortable if I didn't have a years fees in reserve because to remove them would be awful.

@User534 I agree, but my point really was that for such a huge income, you don't really expect it to just be that. If you told me 200k I'd think you're rolling in it and have a lifestyle similar to celebrities. In reality a £1m really doesn't buy you that much in London so even the house may not even be that impressive.

There are too many variables. Our income is far too low for most people to say we can afford private, but we have family help with one child, and pay for the other ourselves, but there are LOADS of things that we don't have that other families might - and do - consider to be absolutely necessary.

I know families who say they can't afford private who then turn around and buy second homes with cash and take £££ holidays, and also families who have a child in private and freelance. I know parents at school with lodgers to help make ends meet, people using family inheritances etc on fees instead of buying a bigger home or clearing the mortgage, people watching their peers upgrade and get bigger houses and fancier holidays around now while they stay in their "starter home" and go camping for a week in the summer. Other people might not consider any of that acceptable for their stage in life.

My husband goes a bit pale when the invoice comes in, but this is a temporary thing and I would much rather spend this money on education than hand it over to a bank as interest on a mortage for a 4th bedroom, you know?

But do assume you will pay out about 2k a year more than the advertised fees - there's always SOMETHING. A trip, sports stuff, music lessons, the deposit this year for next year's big trip. It's bloody endless. Just assume you won't have any money until after the GCSE's and then you can gently nudge towards a brilliant state 6th form.

(There are always great second hand uniform sales btw - less so as they get bigger and slow down, but a killing to be made when they're all still smallish and growing like weeds. Don't imagine you'll have to hand over £600 a year to the uniform supply shop or whoever. You'll only need to buy shoes new, really.)

That's excellent advice.

We're just about to start the private school process. Eldest DD starts school next September and we have chosen a local prep school for her as we're not happy with the state primary options in our catchment. We do have a lump sum to pay for her all the way through until Y6 which will lock in the fees as they currently are and give us the security that she is paid all the way through. There is a 3 year gap until our 2nd DD will start at the same school. Currently I am working part-time and pay for my eldest's nursery while my husband pays for the mortgage and other bills. When I go back to work in October and both of my DDs are in nursery I will be paying a fortune so when my youngest starts school and my salary pays her school fees instead it will basically be the same cost so won't feel like a big outlay. I will also be able to go back full time so any extra money will go into savings for secondary school.

Our combined income is around £180k inc. bonuses but these could vary a lot over the next 7 years while my eldest is at prep school so we're optimistic that we could have a decent amount squirreled away for when the costs jump at secondary school. My husband also get stocks with work so as those vest we can draw on them too.

I don't doubt it will be a financial stretch and part of me is really stressed about how the next 20ish years of our lives will look with putting them both through private school but it is really important to both my husband and I so we're determined to find a way. I went to private school myself from 4-18 and felt so privileged and grateful to have the experience and have always wanted to do the same for my children.

There are people it will be very comfortable for (the PP on combined £450k a year - I wouldn't bat an eyelid!) but for lots of working people, even 'high earners' it's a stretch and parents are making sacrifices to enable them to pay the fees but for us it's worth it.

It depends on so many things. I am a single parent, I earn about £55k including overtime. I’ve chosen to live a modest lifestyle, we live in a 2 bed apartment and forgo expensive holidays to send DD to a local private school. Fees are £9k per year

I think there are big pluses to going state at primary level - on the whole, primary schools in England do a good job, and it means less time in a privileged bubble. I'd avoid the state OR private decision, which often seems to be a gut feeling that the child deserves the best, and mix and match. It's likely to produce a better-balanced person anyway. And moving a child from private to state isn't the end of the world - it can be a positive experience (it was for us at one stage).

I actually feel (unlike most it seems) that private primary gives children a really good head start and can be in a way more useful than private secondary (as compared with a good state secondary/grammar school). As we can comfortably afford prep school we're going to do that and then if we can't afford private secondary relatively comfortably we're going to look at moving into a catchment for an outstanding state secondary/grammar school. Hopefully the prep school start will make them more likely to excel in their 11+. I agree that there is nothing wrong with a combination of state and private. Knowing we have the option to change things further down the line takes the pressure off a bit but we'll still be saving like mad in the hope we can afford private all the way through!

I’d second the advice above about saving £2k per month and seeing if that works. You’ll also need to consider the extra cost of uniforms and extras, which can definitely add up. Also bear in mind that a lot of schools have been holding fees fairly flat the past few years because of covid, etc and this won’t last. For most schools pre-prep is cheaper than prep, then it goes up again at secondary level. For day schools in the SE the range is anything between 16-25k per year for basic fees.

It obviously depends on your circumstances. If you have a good grammar school or comprehensive your child has access to, then that makes good sense for secondary. I think that the big worry at secondary school is if classes are disrupted and if children aren't stretched to reach their full potential. And issues around the sexual harassment of girls and potentially trans-related issues. Those things are widespread problems, but they're not big problems in all schools, and private schools aren't immune from them. Being able to go private gives you a wider choice, which can be particularly helpful at secondary level. I'm sure that a good private school at primary is very nice with lots of extra activities, but from personal experience state school plus some help from parents is enough academic support at that level. And I don't think it's ideal for children to be in a wealthy peer group for their whole childhoods. Others may feel the opposite, of course.

@MrsSamR I agree 100% and feel very strongly about this. I've worked in both and the difference between an excellent prep and an excellent state primary school is huge. The primary years are your foundation, it's where you grow your internal monologue and they pave so much of how you function later in life. The smaller classes, faster access to SEN support and lots of sport and arts are worth it.
The difference between an excellent private and excellent state secondary is really not that noticeable. The classes are similar sized, with a lot of privates having 27 in a class now. Being surrounded by money at that age is not great tbh and I think state secondary is very important for social development. If things weren't picked up in primary years, it's a struggle to catch up regardless of the learning support quality as you're then dealing with a destroyed self esteem too.
This is obviously only comparing excellent to excellent. There are some shocking private and state schools at all levels, but I genuinely think if you have a good state secondary, I would do private for prep and state for 11+.

This exactly! So many people discount private primary school as a waste of money and I want to scream! Like you say it's the foundation for their learning and them as individuals. Both my husband and I went to private primary school - he went on to a state school and myself a private school - but we both remember feeling confident and academically leagues ahead of our state educated counterparts. I have a friend who tutors children and she said the difference between children from prep schools and those from state primary schools is massive. I don't know what we'll be able to afford in the future but I know for now we can afford prep school so I'll be giving them that head start for sure. Any money we save on private secondary if we choose to go the state route can be used for tutoring/extra curricular activities but that self confidence and thirst for knowledge and learning will have been instilled from their prep school education.

It's not just the fees, or annual increases - you've got to think about extras e.g music etc.

We pay a good 2.5k every term for extras. Just over £600 per month for one child.

In my opinion most of the private schools are money making machines. They bring no better results than outstanding state schools. I believe it is better spending the money on 1:1 good tutoring after school as it more guarantees results are GCSE and A- levels than on private school. If somebody can afford both is great but honestly, this is not the a major difference. Please also note that there has been a lot of criticism towards Oxbridge universities to accept mostly applicants from grammar and private. This made a significant shift and they went 180 degrees other direction now and are accepting more from state schools than private.

Great, if you can send your DC to an Outstanding State School.
I would have loved to do that

There is a spreadsheet I’ll find it for you, you enter in the age you send them. You account for fee rises and inflation.

I did that and we are at a relatively cheap private school about £13,500 juniors and £16k seniors. We are accounting for 6-8% rise in fees.

It’s a lot of money about £450k both state til 8.

What is 'ordinary' for one is extravagant or scraping by for another. It's all relative

Our extras are ridiculous too £22.50 a music lesson, uniform and trips. We also pay outside of school swimming even though they swim at school, dance, netball (if you want to get far in any sport you need to join an external club too). We pay £90 a week in music lessons for 4 lessons two per child. They’re also at school about 35 weeks so factor in the extra holiday cover etc.

£40k a year for 2 dc whilst earning £450k is very doable.

Can I say though having done State til 8, I’d sacrifice secondary for amazing Prep. It’s out of this world.

@MrsSamR Yup. Also, all the grounds, clubs and activities on offer at private secondaries so often don't get used by those teens unless they have a solid foundation of sporting and music. Coming from a state school, that's unlikely unless there's been a lot of supplementing. It's not just academics they're less confident in.
At a good prep, all those great things on offer are so much more likely to be enjoyed by your kids as by the nature of their age, they don't have much choice but to do them. This sets them up for life in terms of attitudes to sports and the arts.
Teens are often more likely to just want to go home or to a Starbucks after school, not stay for clubs. Certainly for girls it's difficult to get them to suddenly start being sporty when they're entering puberty. All those brilliant activities in the prospectus; you're lucky if your child signs up.
I visit schools in both sectors for my SEN work, and I genuinely think a lot of private secondaries are a waste of money unless they're the very academic ones or the specialist dyslexia or music ones. I am by no means anti private secondary school; of course plenty are brilliant. I just wouldn't choose private secondary over private primary.

@Hoppinggreen I went to an outstanding state primary and worked in 2. Now visit one. I wouldn't send my child to one. They are like a prep that's obsessed with money, but instead obsessed with keeping their Ofsted. It is not child centered and not a good experience.