Son won't attend tuition for 11 plus

[confusedinlondon]

My ds is refusing to attend tuition classes for the 11 plus. The first class was last week and he is refusing to attend any futher classes.
He is a bright, hardworking boy so his reaction has some as a slight surprise but he won't pass without the tuition.

I don't really know what to do and the exams are getting closer and closer. Any advice or suggestions

How do you know he won’t pass without tuition? What are the reasons he won’t go?

We had this. Tears and everything. But it was after one whole term of it. So we skipped a whole term and started again and it was ok somehow with some additional treats

Will he work through a practise test book on his own? DS did this a couple of months before the test as I could never have afforded tutoring.

I thought the tests were generally in September, so a long way off yet?

Stop the tutoring.

Get him some practice papers and see what happens. You can take a horse to water and all that.

What the worst that can happen?

Why has he refused @confusedinlondon ?

And 11+ has been and gone this year, so it's not until next Sept.

Did he say why?

Did he not like the tutor?

Just buy some books and do it at home.

Maybe he doesn't want to go to a selective school?

Maybe grammar isn’t for him?

My DS was the same and didn’t want to sit the 11 plus so we realised it wasn’t for him. I thought the point of the system was to select those who are really suited for the environment and will thrive there. If there are already battles over practicing for the test/attending extra tutoring/not particularly bothered about getting into the school or not then it may not be the right fit?

DS was perfectly happy to do the test and wanted to go to a selective school but even if I had the money for tutoring I doubt he'd have liked the idea of more 'school'. He was fine with doing the book on his own as long as I wasn't involved!

DS thrived at the grammar despite not being the type to want extra work.

A bit confused that you say exams are getting closer and closer, but presumably if he's only just started tuition then he's not taking them this year?

If he's not motivated/interested in selective school then you're going to struggle to keep him going for a year or more.
Maybe try a different type of tutoring?

Not for private schools

If he won’t pass without the tuition then he shouldn’t be sitting it. Grammar school isn’t the right place for someone who is coached through the tests.

Take the pressure off and allow him to choose his own secondary school.

Have you asked him why? Is it about the tuition, the tutor, or the school you want him to try for?

Maybe he doesn't want to go to the school that the exam is for? Are his friends going to a non-selective school?

Also for much of Northern Ireland 11+ (as it is often still colloquially called) is next month. Aqe/gl/seag or whatever it’s to be called from next year.

Would he do bofa or atom online as can be more self led? Or just work through books. In person Tuition isn't necessarily answer for all

For many areas of the county this is totally and completely false. Maybe could have been relevant 20/30 years ago but certainly not in recent years sadly.

"Not for private schools"

Ah, as I'm in state Ed I didn't know 11+ was different for private Ed!

I would suggest that any child kicking back against pressure of tutoring could struggle or kickback with pressure in the selective school system. I was educated in a grammar as are both my kids now. The pressure is still on to obtain the highest of results (I hated it!).

you need to ask him why. he might have a valid reason or a something can be tweaked.
I took my children to the grammar schools and their local comprehensive that sadly looked like a prison and the tours motivated them to study harder to go to grammar school.

Then don't force him. Plenty of pushy parents round here forcing their kids to do the 11 plus.

You want to make your child happy , right?

If you can get him to see beyond the lessons and understand why you want him to sit this exam then he might be willing to go. Have you looked at the schools? Seen the websites? YouTube videos?

He's probably pissed off at having to do more homework but doesn't understand the long term benefits to passing the 11+

In our area everyone has tutors. It’s unheard of for someone to pass without tuition. Those that do pass without tutors are probably less than 5%.

He doesn’t want to go the extra work. He wants to play and watch tv. He feels it’s an extra burden. Doesnt want the extra work.

I thought the 11+ had just recently been sat for this year .