Son won't attend tuition for 11 plus

[confusedinlondon]

My ds is refusing to attend tuition classes for the 11 plus. The first class was last week and he is refusing to attend any futher classes.
He is a bright, hardworking boy so his reaction has some as a slight surprise but he won't pass without the tuition.

I don't really know what to do and the exams are getting closer and closer. Any advice or suggestions

Let me clarify; it’s not so much going to the tutors but it’s the additional homework they give me. It comes to about 3 hours a week. We spread that across the week but he still doesn’t want to do the extra homework and so doesn’t want to go the tuition centre.

people start tuition in year 3 or year 4. I fear we are already behind.

He doesn’t like the homework they give which is 3 to 4 hours per week. He doesn’t want to do this.

Yes, I am think 1 2 1 tutoring might be better suited for him rather than class tuition.

Why is the 11 plus so important to you that you are prepared to make your child miserable?

What are the non-grammars like in your area OP? If they are outstanding too (parts of Kent is like this) is the 11+ really that big a deal?

If he doesn't want to do 3hrs if extra work a week, do you think he has the right attitude for the grammar school system?

Does he want to go to grammar? If not, does he understand why you want it for him? Has he looked around at the schools to get a feeling for them so it gives him something to aim for and to 'buy into'?

What is bofa? I am considering Atom.

The tuition centre is excellent with an impressive pass rate. I worry that we will miss out on techniques or other info if we try just online learning like atom or bond books

@confusedinlondon so you're DS will sit the exam September? So in 11 months time?

I appreciate a lot of tutoring goes into 11+ exams, and it seems a great way to make money if you're a tutor but you really need to listen to your dc.

The issue is, pushing him might make him absolutely resent the idea of ever even stepping foot into a grammar school.

Also, I don't know where you are, but there are plenty of examples of children passing without excessive tutoring, some without any and only a little input from parents.

I do find it odd, children in year 3 and 4 being tutored for an exam they will sit when they're 10...wondering what the setup of tuition is and what the parents are paying for?!

Yes of course I want to make him happy.

That is right
he doesn’t want to do the extra homework.

Awful.
the nearest two have been in and out of special measures. The third one is pretty rough.
the only semi decent one is too far for us. So the options are grammar school or move. This is why I am trying to get him to focus on the grammar schools.

The problem you have is he is right - it IS an extra burden.

Is this for private school or for grammar? I am so glad not to live in a grammar area, they are shit.

What is the non-selective option like? Can you not just do that?

Could you move?

I don't really see how you force him to work without seriously risking him getting permanently put off school!

If he doesn't want to do 3hrs if extra work a week, do you think he has the right attitude for the grammar school system?
There were plenty of other bright but not particularly studious kids at DS's grammar. Most would do work in class and set homework (which was a reasonable amount, didn't take too long) but studying for GCSEs was highly variable.

I would suggest a 1to1 tutor weekly and then doing extra papers in the summer hols.

You also need to get him to understand the benefits of committing this time to his work. You cannot force him to do it, he won't pass if he's not interested!

This sounds very odd? My kids love their tuition lessons and see them as a treat 🤣 is it a class or is it 1-2-1? A class might feel too much like school for him and it might be a bit overwhelming.

Sorry just catching up - 3-4 hours a week of extra homework???? That doesn't sound right at all - DM me if you want the name of people we use. My daughter loves them for her 11+ tuition and they make the learning and testing process really fun and enjoyable for her

Have you got any idea of how he’s doing? Has he sat a mock 11+ test etc? If he’s already getting good scores, it could be that he doesn’t really need such intensive coaching. Perhaps the work he covers in the class is sufficient and he doesn’t see the point of 3 hours extra homework per week. If your son is bright, tuition will mainly be for familiarising him with the different types of questions in the paper and helping him with exam timing.

That's different to my kids and my own experience where you were expected to put the effort in. DD was regularly set homework of 2 hours each night. DS not as much. Both reports were graded for effort each term and parents called if it was of concern. You can't get away with cruising along at either of their schools.

[It's also worth noting that if pupils fail 11+ then headteachers can appeal providing evidence of the child's ability @confusedinlondon. It is at headteacher's discretion who they will appeal for - a positive attitude towards learning can be taken into account as part of the appeal.]

Online system that gives them much tests. Idea is that they are adaptive (so will go up and down in difficulty depending on how your DC is doing).

Guessing by your user name you are in London?

Mock not much

If he won’t pass without the tuition then he shouldn’t be sitting it. Grammar school isn’t the right place

The theory from the Golden Age if Grammars that never was.

The reality is that his peers of equal ability / grammar ability will be being tutored from Yr 3 or 4 onwards. So the competitive bar is raised to natural ability + tutoring.

Even in the time before tutoring Grammars attracted vastly more students from middle class families who were being supported in their education.

Aged 9 many kids, potential future academics, innovators, world leaders and healers etc, might not have the maturity for hours of extra school work when they should be playing. It is a ridiculous way to determine the educational future of any child.

How old is he? You really don't need to start in year 3/4. Engagement in learning is as important as good teaching since he won't progress otherwise. It needs to be fun or he will resist. Do more of what he enjoys for the timebeing and ease off pressure. What is your perception of non grammar options based upon?

Simple. Just ask him if he wants to go to that school. If he doesn't then don't waste your money. Equally if he does want to go tell him he works or you won't be wasting the money and be honest in that he won't be going there.
My dd did past papers as they're usually questions that are different way of thinking to state secondary school and not anything like she covered in primary. The night before the exam she decided she didn't want to go there after all and so chose not to sit the exam. Shes bright and doing really well at her state school. I'm glad we didn't waste time and money on a tutor. I don't think grammar school would have suited her personality anyway. I just wanted her to have the opportunity.

If you Google AETuition you will get an idea. It’s a tuition centre near us but not one we used. They have 300 spaces to tutor year 4s and almost of them have been filled.
they have 150 spaces for year 3 studentd