Help: Would you move a reluctant 16 yr old from India to the UK for A levels?IB diploma

[BetteDavisthighs]

Hi, I posted this in Living Overseas but am also posting it here.

Hello. I am new here and looking for help with a v difficult situation. Pl be gentle! Sorry, this will be long but I am trying not to drip feed.I am a life-long expat and trailing spouse of Indian origin. Moved around a lot when kids younger, now back in Mumbai, India ( my hometown) for the last 6 years. My husband just got word that his job here has been eliminated. He has been offered a new job in London, but not on an expat package as previously. ( his employer is phasing out expat packages), so no school and rent covered. He is 50 and there are v few jobs in his industry, so not much negotiation possible.

DS is 15, and in Grade 10 of the IGCSE and doing v well at an academic IB school which sends most of the class to Ivy Leagues/Russell Group unis overseas. I assumed he would move with us after finishing out Grade 10 here, but he has surprised me by announcing that he does not want to move for the next 3 years. His suggestion: he asks my mom to move in with him and he finishes out his entire education in India. ( he's not keen on boarding school) For reference, he is v close to my mom who is in good health, and extremely savvy in all things to do with teens. ( not the typical Indian mom). He also suggests that I go back and forth between London and Mumbai, spending 6 months in each so he gets some supervision and help.

I have lived in the UK before and love it, and am so excited to return, even to Brexit Britain. But
have been told by British friends that it is extremely difficult to move kids at age 16. Also, I am told that he will not be able to adapt to state school, so I will have to fork out a ridiculous sum for private schools. I am open to him moving to A levels ( considering Southbank and the usual trio of Kings, St Paul's and City of London Boys). We can just about afford it as it's only for two years, and we have considerable savings and rental income. It might be worth it to keep the family together. But I am worried that he will take so long to adapt that he might mess up his A levels or the IBDP, and then his college chances will be blighted. At the same time, i think it's such a good opportunity for him to travel. But I guess he is no longer an expat child and is now more Indian than expat.

What would you do? I fear either option is going to end up a big mess. DH thinks moving kids at age 16 to a v different country is too tough to contemplate, I think he should suck it up ( but am not sure).

Hi OP. Sorry to hear you had an odd experience applying to LU. I have a DS there doing A-levels. About 30 join for Year 13 and 14, but hundreds get turned down unfortunately, many of which will have all 9s. LU also have about 20% on bursaries (and are looking to increase this), so the extra A- level I take will no doubt reflect this.

Another school you could try is Hampton? It’s a bit further out though (south west). Not sure where you’ll be living? It’s similar to LU though in terms of results, but maybe more places as it’s all boys. There is also Highgate, Haberdashers Askes and City London Boys, but competition will be fierce.

KGS and Ibstock could be good options? Both Co-Ed. No reason at all why a bright boy wouldn’t do just as well in these schools.

Agsin, Westminster, St Paul’s and Kings College will need all 9s and then some.

In North London there is a school called Netchsnt Taylor’s which is very good, but maybe marginally easier to get into (possibly)!

Most independents such as these (if not all) do IGCSE, so no difference there, but now the A grade has been split into “9” (high A) and “8” (lower A*) - just to differentiate further!

There are smaller, newer schools such as Kew House (Chiswick) which I think had a sixth form. Not sure if Wetherby does?

Good luck!

Random00, thank you for your time in posting so many suggestions. Have applied to 3 of the schools you mention: Highgate, KGS, and City Boys. And rounded up my five with UCS and Whitgift. If he does not get into any of these, will think again. His teachers have given him glowing references ( not seen them obv but they told me as much).

Habs boys does not take boys in sixth form sadly , though it was top of my list.
Hampton just looks too remote, and too far from Canary Wharf where DH will be working.
Ibstock needs us to travel to London in December, which is simply not possible, given we are already there in Nov.
Bancrofts is also being inflexible about exam dates and interviews, so reluctantly giving up on them. It is hard for us to keep travelling to London as the expense and school missed is phenomenal.

Appreciate so many of you taking the time to respond. Will update after interviews. Previous posts have really helped me, so perhaps mine might help others.

One question: I heard from some friends in London that Croydon around Whitgift, is not the safest area to study and work in. They live in St Johns Wood of course, and I know Croydon won't be like that. But any input on how safe Whitgift kids will be? Please excuse me if this is a stupid question, am v unfamiliar with London.

Hi OP, I think sadly, Croydon has developed a bit of a reputation in recent years, but then London is London and anything can happen anywhere. Croydon is a large London suburb which can almost feel a bit “separate”, if that makes sense. It could exist in its own right. But anything can happen anywhere. St John’s Wood borders some streets that I wouldn’t walk down at night! My DC is at LU is on King Street, Hammersmith, which is potentially volatile at the best of times!

Do you know where you’ll be living or are you trying to find the school first?

Yes Hampton does seem far out west if your DH is going to be commuting to Canary Wharf. Did you look at Dulwich College? Also, if you’re going for Whitgift, there is also Trinity School which I think is partnered with Whitgift and is fairly similar in terms if results etc.

On the other hand, Highgate is clearly in Highgate which is like a village in a hill and lovely!

City has a fantastic location in the Thames.

KGS is obviously in Kingston, which again has a more suburban feel, but Kingston town centre is pleasant enough. I think it’s fair to say that Kingston is considered slightly more “upmarket” than Croydon Not sure how fair this is as I haven’t been to Croydon in years, but there it is!

If he got into KGS, you could easily live somewhere like Putney or Barnes which are failrly commutable by rail to both Kingston and Canary Wharf. Many pupils travel from here to KGS. I know quite a few.

Sorry I should say CLBS is on the Thames, obviously not in it!

Whitgift is in South Croydon rather than central or West Croydon where most incidents occur. Many pupils commute by train or tram. Tbh it is safer than many London boroughs.

OP, I’m speaking a bit off the top of my head here as I don’t know the school really, but Wetherby Senior is a fairly new school (it used to only be a prep, but a very well-regraded one - I think royalty went there and alllsorts)! They do have a sixth form now, but it will be much smaller than say KGS or Whitgift. Also it might be easier to get into because they don’t have a proven A-level track record yet, as such? I’m just thinking, if your DS is coming from India at a key time, it might be easier for him to adjust and hit the ground running in a smaller school with say 30-40 other boys, as opposed to a large cohort of a few hundred? Just an idea? Also Wetherby is very central (Notting Hill way, I think)? As I say, I’ve no idea if they have places, but people do move and there are lots of ex pats such as yourself coming and going all the time. He might get more individual attention in this kind if school maybe?

Similarly, I believe Fulham Prep school may be opening a new sixth form in Sept 2020. There has been talk about this for some time. It will be brand new premises in Parsons Green (which is lovely, think Fulham / Chelsea way). Fulham Prep is another very established prep which has recently opened a senior school to meet demand. It says in their website they are accepting applications for Yesrs 12 and 13. If they are indeed up and running in time, I’m sure they’d welcome your DS and this could be an opportunity for a very personalised education and for him to be part of something new and innovative?

www.met.police.uk/sd/stats-and-data/met/crime-data-dashboard/

That's where you can find out about crime rates. If you go into Safer Neighbourhoods, you'll see info for smaller areas. Crime rates in St Johns Wood and South Croydon are exactly the same (both low).
Don't know if you know but there's a sizeable community of professional Indian families in South Croydon actually.

Anyway, the borough of Croydon is very large (miles and miles). Some of it can be a bit dodgy and is deprived. The south of the borough (South Croydon, Purley, Sanderstead) are not like that and largely affluent in fact. St Johns Wood is obvs affluent but it's much closer to deprived or dodgy parts.

I wanted to update here with some thrilling news. After an extremely gruelling trip to London and some very demoralising tests/interviews DS has conditional offers from City of London and Highgate for sixth form. I am astonished and very proud. Haven't heard from the other 3 schools yet ( UCS, Hampton, and Whitgift), but these were our top choices. Now need to make a quick decision. Highgate only needs 3 A and CLS needs 6 A . But CLS is hard to give up; we have friends there and they can't stop raving about it, the diversity, the academics, and how grounded the boys are. If I were rolling in money, I would put down a deposit at both so I can sleep at night, but I think that is just too indulgent. I realise this is a good dilemma to have and I am privileged!

I also wanted to update that DS really liked London and is now ok to move there. Yes, he will miss his friends, but he realised that the education he gets in the UK will be amazing. He had long and fascinating conversations with the teachers about his interests. He also really loved the Tube, the museums, the parks and the football ( took him all around and sold him on the city!). I think he will settle in. And now that he has passed the tests, I think he can cope with the academics ( was unsure about how smart or not he was). The weather is likely to be the biggest challenge; but we will have to soldier through.

I wanted to thank you all for your help, especially those posters like Liz and JojoMaman who kept returning with advice, but also everyone who bothered to post. I would be glad to help anyone else who is trying to enter sixth form from a different school system, or from overseas. I learnt a lot from this process and have many tips.

Congratulations! It's a great school and so well placed to enjoy all of the opportunities London offers. It's only a short boat ride from Canary Wharf too. Greenwich is a nice area to travel to both easily - there are a few boys from City on that train line although I think most live in North London.

Well done! You should all be very proud of yourselves- your son for how well he did and you and your partner for how organised you were. You'd be surprised how many people move here expecting it all just to fall into place. It is a massive undertaking financially and emotionally so you all deserve a glass of wine or whatever post stress drink of choice you enjoy! He sounds like he will do great anywhere, I would honestly choose whatever is closer to your house as they're both amazing. Being close to home is so convenient with late revision sessions, socialising, going home during free periods or lunch etc. Lots of North London boys go to both of those schools. However if you're going to be more NE like Stoke Newington, Islington etc than I would definitely avoid Highgate- that commute is horrible. Its great if you live more west like crouch end etc.

@ Dodge it, we do not have a house abd will be renting closest to whichever school we pick. My son is keener on Highgate. I know CLS has the better reputation and is more diverse but he found it a bit too urban and poky. Given it is such a huge change for him, I am leaving the decision mainly to him.

I can see why he is keener on Highgate, but I do think the boys at CLS will be a lot more like what he is used to. All the best anyway I'm sure he will do well in either.