Hi, I posted this in Living Overseas but am also posting it here.
Hello. I am new here and looking for help with a v difficult situation. Pl be gentle! Sorry, this will be long but I am trying not to drip feed.I am a life-long expat and trailing spouse of Indian origin. Moved around a lot when kids younger, now back in Mumbai, India ( my hometown) for the last 6 years. My husband just got word that his job here has been eliminated. He has been offered a new job in London, but not on an expat package as previously. ( his employer is phasing out expat packages), so no school and rent covered. He is 50 and there are v few jobs in his industry, so not much negotiation possible.
DS is 15, and in Grade 10 of the IGCSE and doing v well at an academic IB school which sends most of the class to Ivy Leagues/Russell Group unis overseas. I assumed he would move with us after finishing out Grade 10 here, but he has surprised me by announcing that he does not want to move for the next 3 years. His suggestion: he asks my mom to move in with him and he finishes out his entire education in India. ( he's not keen on boarding school) For reference, he is v close to my mom who is in good health, and extremely savvy in all things to do with teens. ( not the typical Indian mom). He also suggests that I go back and forth between London and Mumbai, spending 6 months in each so he gets some supervision and help.
I have lived in the UK before and love it, and am so excited to return, even to Brexit Britain. But
have been told by British friends that it is extremely difficult to move kids at age 16. Also, I am told that he will not be able to adapt to state school, so I will have to fork out a ridiculous sum for private schools. I am open to him moving to A levels ( considering Southbank and the usual trio of Kings, St Paul's and City of London Boys). We can just about afford it as it's only for two years, and we have considerable savings and rental income. It might be worth it to keep the family together. But I am worried that he will take so long to adapt that he might mess up his A levels or the IBDP, and then his college chances will be blighted. At the same time, i think it's such a good opportunity for him to travel. But I guess he is no longer an expat child and is now more Indian than expat.
What would you do? I fear either option is going to end up a big mess. DH thinks moving kids at age 16 to a v different country is too tough to contemplate, I think he should suck it up ( but am not sure).
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Help: Would you move a reluctant 16 yr old from India to the UK for A levels?IB diploma
64 replies
BetteDavisthighs · 11/09/2019 12:22
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