GCSE 2019 support thread 6

[DeRigueurMortis]

Hello All,

Welcome to thread 6 - results...

Last thread here:

Gcses 2019 support thread 5 http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/secondary/3610608-gcses-2019-support-thread-5

It's been a fantastically supportive set of threads to date with a diverse set of expectations and challenges (for both parents and children).

I expect this thread may be the most emotive for us all (crikey how did the time fly!!)

Good luck everyone

That's helpful, thank you both.
I want to make sure I've done everything I can to support him?
I'm not personally fixed on the grades he gets, I just don't want him to miss out on opportunities or choices ? I think a problem is that he doesn't know what he wants to do next and so didn't feel inspired or see the purpose of GCSE's?

Ok, so if she was confident enough that she'd get an A without doing any revision she must be rather academic! Based on her Year 6 Sats results - a 4 in Maths and a 5 in English ( and she was not known for being particularly good at english - nowhere near the top set in primary school along with her CATs results taken on the first few days of Year 7, where she scored around 100 in all parts - I'd say she was average.

I think a problem is that he doesn't know what he wants to do next and so didn't feel inspired or see the purpose of GCSE's? They keep your options open especially when you don't know what you want to do. We all like choices.

@goldface

You're welcome.

Not getting at you, I totally get where you are coming from for what you want for him, ( I've been there ) .
But until it is him (not you) wanting those options and choices open for himself - it's hard to support them .
The only person who can get him those are himself, no matter how much he's supported.
The only person who will hold him back from achieving or becoming whatever he wants to be - is him.
The motivation needs to come from him - at this stage your best support is to help him find that. His goal.

goldface he sounds lovely and be happy he’s like he is in so many ways. Some kids (and parents) get so stressed about all this exam stuff.

Not many kids know what they want to do at your ds’s age. Try to work out from him if there are any lines of work or subjects he absolutely doesn’t want to do. Focus too on subjects he can do fairly easily. Would he like college or sixth form? College is more flexible in requirements than sixth form.

My dd has just enrolled at college to do animation and film-making with a couple of very good relevant GCSEs - art, English, media studies and a couple of ‘filler’ GCSEs to reach the number of passes they need to enrol. She was never academic but always creative. School routine, uniform, early mornings was not for her. We didn’t stress about getting 8 GCSEs because we knew she’d never again need most of them. I think she’s in the best place she needs to be right now but some of the super competitive mums would see her achievement as a failure.

Ds1 got 5s for both PE and Physics with no revision at all...

He decided to "sacrifice" those subjects to concentrate on eng lang and maths which paid off.

Ds1 also not bragging about his higher grades...some people he knows didn't do so well :(

Sounds great littledog

On a Mumsnet thread in Higher Education a while ago, somebody posted various descriptions of students they or the lecturer who wrote this had lectured to (clearly at university level), in a discussion of imposter syndrome, which included:
"2. The bullshitter: slightly above average ability, works a lot but never admits it "gaming all night again" = head down in the books. Comes out of every exam saying how easy it was and how he aced it (yes, always male). Mocks any of his friends who admit to working hard or even trying hard. Gets things in on time having "pulled an all-nighter" to do it (has actually been working steadily in secret). Seldom asks for help from staff, will leach information off friends. Everyone will know when he does well. Easy to teach but not to have as a classmate. Gets B's sometimes A's."
As opposed to. amongst others:
"3. The honest slogger: average to above average ability. Spends a lot of time in the library. Has encyclopedic knowledge of submission schedule for assignments, office hours of staff and is expert at finding information. Generous to others with this knowledge. Conscientious about making sure they have a good grasp of material, will come to lecturer to ask for help, which they will share. Male or female. Works hard and effectively. Gets things in on time, complete in every aspect. Lovely to teach. Can be undermined by bullshitters. Prone to impostor syndrome. Gets lowish A's and sometimes B's."
This second describes my DS to a T. He cheered up again afterwards, I think it was just the initial impact, it is hard not to compare, whatever one says. (Btw, I am not even convinced that some of these DC really did as well as they claimed, it seems unlikely. There are supposed to be only a limited number of all 9s in the country, so hard to believe that so many are concentrated within a couple of schools). So don't worry, he has gone back to being thrilled with his results.

Brilliant Bimkom

Bimkom sweeping generalisations I think. The description you apply to your son makes him seem like a saint rather than a teenage boy.

Yeah one description is horrible and one is saintly! My dd is neither!

@TheLittleDogLaughed - yes, the original posting were sweeping generalisations (other options "the brilliant", "the perfectionist", "the happy go lucky", "the struggler"). The bit that really amused me about this characterisation was the "encyclopedic knowedge about submission schedules .. office hours. etc." etc DS always knows who is available when, he seems to memorise the teacher's timetables, and the low down on the requirements, specifications etc and where you can find anything (sometimes I worried he spent more time on this than on the core content itself, but given the huge amount of revision time, I don't think so) and also "will come to the lecturer to ask for help" [always! constantly asking the teacher after class, after hours, lunchtimes, at extra sessions where nobody else bothers to turn up when he doesn't understand something] "which they then will share" - seems to spend his life then retelling others, teaching others etc. Point of contact when others in the class want to know when things are due or happening. Always had the lowdown on things happening in the school before anybody else.
Definitely not a saint - far too over anxious and prone to meltdowns and biting our heads off (and telling us that he is too busy studying to help at home, tidy up, be a contributing member of the family etc).

Here is the full posting: - sure generalisations, but I think one can recognise people we know in the generalisations:
"Thought you might like this assessment by a lecturer

I've been a lecturer for decades there are several common types of students, most of whom can have imposter syndrome:

1.The brilliant: never do any noticeable work other than what is compulsory, hands major projects in early because they're "good enough", have hobbies that take up lots of time (often, for some reason music, involving being up half the night). Always gets A's, sometimes submits truly amazing work apparently done on the back of a fag packet. Flicks through a text and understands it. You don't really need to teach them. Doesn't boast or crow, helps others. No danger of impostor syndrome, may actually give lecturers impostor syndrome.

1. The bullshitter: slightly above average ability, works a lot but never admits it "gaming all night again" = head down in the books. Comes out of every exam saying how easy it was and how he aced it (yes, always male). Mocks any of his friends who admit to working hard or even trying hard. Gets things in on time having "pulled an all-nighter" to do it (has actually been working steadily in secret). Seldom asks for help from staff, will leach information off friends. Everyone will know when he does well. Easy to teach but not to have as a classmate. Gets B's sometimes A's.

1. The honest slogger: average to above average ability. Spends a lot of time in the library. Has encyclopedic knowledge of submission schedule for assignments, office hours of staff and is expert at finding information. Generous to others with this knowledge. Conscientious about making sure they have a good grasp of material, will come to lecturer to ask for help, which they will share. Male or female. Works hard and effectively. Gets things in on time, complete in every aspect. Lovely to teach. Can be undermined by bullshitters. Prone to impostor syndrome. Gets lowish A's and sometimes B's.

1. The perfectionist: Average to above average ability. Struggles to finish anything, always asks for extensions to polish work (never gets them, gets upset). Sometimes has to hand in incomplete work. Anxious, unhappy. Hugely undermined by bullshitters, aspires to be a brilliant through hard work (but can never be; brilliants are born not made). Often penalised for excessive length in assignments and includes irrelevant material, bitterly contests this. Sometimes massive impostor syndrome. Sometimes suffer from thinking they are an unrecognised brilliant. Will spend hours discussing exactly what is needed for an assignment rather than starting it. Also spends hours disputing feedback in great detail. Often upset about marks. Hard work to teach. Gets B's sometimes C's occasionally worse.

1. The happy-go-lucky: average ability. Lots of friends. Does their best but doesn't go out of their way to put extra effort in. Never adds extra bells and whistles. Never complains about things, even when actually they have been hard done to. Always hands in on time saying "it is what it is", work always complete. Fun to be around, always cheerful, will happily call out bullshitters. Doesn't care if he or she is an impostor, they're having a good time. Great to teach. Gets B's or very high C's occasional A's.

1. The struggler: below average ability or has difficult circumstances. Tries hard but just can't master the work. Hands in work on time, sometimes incomplete, gets bad feedback, gets demoralised further. Utterly devastated by bullshitters. Can get through if befriended by a slogger or a happy-go-lucky, if they don't have friends will find it very hard. Needs a sympathetic study group (ideally with a brilliant who is good at explaining things - they have time to help people). Dosen't seek enough help from lecturers (probably because they are embarrassed). Often obviously very unhappy. Frustrating to teach because of reluctance to ask for help. Gets C's or worse.

The most damaging of these is the perfectionist. Most students used to be happy-go-luckies. In the olden days when a 2.2 was a perfectly acceptable degree and a 3rd was a setback but not a disaster strugglers could be happy-go-luckies. Bullshitters have always been a pain. Brilliants are, at most, 1% of a cohort."

My DS also has perfectionist tendencies - although mostly does keep them in check - part of the reason I copied this and sent it to him about six months ago when I saw it was a) to point out to him that there is a recognised category of bullshitters who claim not to work but actually do, so that he shouldn't necessarily believe everybody when they claim to ace something without work; and b) to watch out for perfectionist tendencies, ie much better to be an honest slogger than a perfectionist, which is the category into which he could easily slide.

Ha! Dd is most definitely a happy go lucky!

I seem to have a "brilliant perfectionist" - oh dear :-(

I seem to have a "brilliant perfectionist" too😫

He is very high achieving but he simply can't accept any less from himself than the absolute highest achievements and I have worried for his mental health at many points over the last few years. He puts so much pressure on himself. I'm an Mental Health Nurse so do know what to look out for but I also know how impulsive teenagers can be and it has worried me a lot at times.

QUick question for those that understand the new grading - is a 4:3 in combined science a pass? DOes it count for 2 GCSEs?

I have a happy go lucky lad on my hands and I couldn't be happier

Sorry bit behind and just catching up. well done to all those with amazing results and to all Dc who have obtained what they need to progress on to their next journey.

DD despite her illness managed to pass all her gcses with a mix of 8s,7s,6s and the odd 5. I am really pleased for her as she has been accepted into 6th form to study chemistry, maths , psychology and history as wells an EPQ. She is really upset not wanting to celebrate as predicted straight 9s prior to illness starting and feels she's let everyone down. It's so hard part of it is school will not let her sit A level biology due to 6 and say she should play to strengths. She is slowly coming round and starting to think about 6th form.

Thanks for all the support on her during and before the exams.

Congratulations @eatthatfrog I was wondering how your DD had got on, remember what she had had to handle. Have to say I think that is a bit unreasonable of your DD's school, I think to manage a 6 given what she has been through is pretty amazing, and while I know that in the usual case the GCSE results are supposed to be a reasonable guide to A Level performance, yours is not the usual case, and anomalies do exist. I suppose with everything it is a bit to tricky to try moving, but if her heart is set on biology, it does seem a bit harsh

Bimkom my dd doesn’t fit a single one of those categories, not even closely. Thank goodness!

I think the majority of those categories sound as though they have serious mental health issues. It's quite sneery as well.

Eatthe Gosh - your Dd did incredibly well considering she sat those exams at such a difficult time. Well done to her!!
I also think that the school is being a little mean spirited. If she was predicted a clean sweep of 9s then biology is on of her strengths isn’t it? .. it’s just that extenuating circumstances mean that she didn’t get a 9

agirl I think your dc has achieved somewhere between a 3 and a 4 for combined science. I do not think it’s like 2 separate gcses .. (ie a 4 and then a 3) more like that the content of the syllabus is the value of 2 gcses .
It looks to me that your Dd narrowly missed out on a pass. Do you know actual score? Maybe chance of a re-mark?