Private school - how do you afford it?

[worriedandstressedAAA]

In the process of applying to various private schools for DS as the local state secondary is pretty dire. Doing the sums now and, whilst we can afford to send one child, sending two children (DS2 is in year 4) is going to be very tight. I need to go through the sums in more detail but basically think it is doable with a lot of sacrifices, stress and worry. I am divorced so my ex and I will try to share the fees. We are both middle class professionals living in London. I earn 130k p.a. and DH around 90k. I think it's the fact that we are divorced that is making it so difficult as we are basically paying for 2 households. How does everyone else afford it? It's a sh*t load of money.

To be perfectly frank, I would consider moving rather than doing this. It's too stressful. I've been there. When we eventually withdrew her aged 10, it was such a relief. We couldn't cope with the worry of the fees and plus we couldn't keep up with her peers.

Their parents were paying for multiple other opportunities for their children, they went skiing, had horses, private music lessons and so forth.

When we sent her to a good state school, we had more money for clubs etc and extra lessons.

Could you move instead? I'd also worry about sharing fees with an ex. What if relations break down or he has another child or something?

What are your and exh outgoings? Are they likely to stay the same or decrease/increase in the next few years? It really all comes down to that. It is hard to run two households.

Agree with Fortune that while ex may be willing to pay half now after a few years with a new girlfriend/wife in situ that may change.

Move

On that income it shouldn’t be an issue- unless your lifestyle is already fairly extravagant. My husband and I brought home 7k a month and it wasn’t a major issue for 2. You will have a lot more than that.

Many parents get help with fees - from grandparents etc. Something like 1/3 of school fees are paid this way if not more.

That doesn't help your situation but just trying to explain why.

£210k, London, two households, two cars, two children. You probably clear about £11k pcm between you. Depends on outpings but if there are two mortgages I don't think it's doable especially if you factor in potential redundancy and no income for a cpl of blocks of 6 months and then 6 x £7k pa rent at uni........ Although of course you may both be on the cusp of partnerships with magic circle firms?

We didn't commit until we had 4 years of fees saved and a lot of equity in a zone 2 house. Bear in mind the rates at which fees increase. When ds was 8 his fees were about £7500pa. At 18 they were £19000pa (and dd's were £15,000). Add on the extras and the total was closer to £40k.

Move.

Flossie in London that income is not at all particularly generous.

I would also agree move to an area with a good state provision and have spare money to pay for extras. You can hire a tutor to top up any subjects you think he needs help in.

Don’t be ridiculous- 210k is an huge amount of money. It wont be if you have a huge mortgage but if that is the case you don’t do both private school and expensive houses. I appreciate that London is expensive but it isn’t that much more than Edinburgh where you could easily fund two kids on 210k if you had a more modest home.

I earn 130k p.a. and DH around 90k.

Blimey. Considering we earn around 20% of that between us (professional jobs too!) and I opened this thread because I’ve been wondering if we could ever make it work I don’t feel too bad now that we can’t! No advice OP but I hope you manage a soution that suits you and your children. :)

Flossie in London that income is not at all particularly generous.

Oh here we go, didn’t take long ;)

It isn’t 210k though is it? It’s £130k and paying half of the school fees?

I've just googled Edinburgh property prices. £1m buys something significant. In a good part of London that's a 3 bed terrace and a small one.

You can't compare apples with pears.

I know Schmoobarb. Must be horrendous. All your pals heading off skiing and to Waitrose and you having to make do with M and S and a week at Eurocamp....

OhtheRoses- most of the parents at my daughters expensive school didn’t live in £1 million pound houses, only a handful of the very well off. Most were in houses of half that. Or in flats! Or outside of town a bit. They certainly weren’t all in huge houses. Like I say- you make a compromise somewhere. Less fancy house, a bit further out = more for school fees.

There isn't that level of compromise in London I'm afraid. If you move out the schools get better.

Most parents at my dd's London independents didn't live in £1m houses either flossie. Only the poorer ones. Edinburgh is really not nearly as expensive as London.

Do you do 50:50 shared care or near to it, could he apply to somewhere else from his dad’s address? I don’t know where you are in London but we really do have some of the best state schools in the country here and also the size of city means schools are in quite close proximity, are there no decent options nearby? Parental education and involvement is a huge determining factor in a child’s educational outcomes and it sounds like your son will be very blessed in those areas, plus you are in a position to buy in extra tutoring help. Good luck with whatever you decide.

I don’t think it is doable for most people nowadays if you are in London, have a newish mortgage and plan to pay the fees yourself.

DH and I are both on good salaries (not quite as good as yours OP but six figures between us). No way can we afford the mortgage on a fairly small terraced house in zone 3 (800k), plus 2x £18000 school fees each year. Not “oh we’d have to cut back on holidays”, the mortgage plus school fees is more than we take home after tax.

The people who I know who do send their kids private have family money, ie GPs are paying. Or they bought their houses in 2005 so have no mortgage.

If private education is important to you and you can't find 40k p/a out of 220k then you're spending too much on yourselves.

We pay for two London private secondaries on less than half that income, with the caveat that we have minor mortgage expense (certainly not a £1m house) and equity/savings could cover disasters - savings built up by going to state primaries. But the actual fees come out of income.

Move somewhere out of the city in the commuter belt with cul de sacs, trees and grammar schools.

But Londonista if the OP hasn’t already paid their mortgage off, what can they do about that? Not much.

You’re in a very privileged position if you have no mortgage costs in London. Yes we’ll be loaded when we pay ours off too, but that doesn’t do us much good now does it?

We afford it by living in Yorkshire

Londonista - 220k is before tax and to support two households. 40k is after tax.