Private school - how do you afford it?

[worriedandstressedAAA]

In the process of applying to various private schools for DS as the local state secondary is pretty dire. Doing the sums now and, whilst we can afford to send one child, sending two children (DS2 is in year 4) is going to be very tight. I need to go through the sums in more detail but basically think it is doable with a lot of sacrifices, stress and worry. I am divorced so my ex and I will try to share the fees. We are both middle class professionals living in London. I earn 130k p.a. and DH around 90k. I think it's the fact that we are divorced that is making it so difficult as we are basically paying for 2 households. How does everyone else afford it? It's a sh*t load of money.

I think you should do it. Can you also

Ask for a discount- def worth trying
Consider paying monthly, makes it a lot easier
Put your mortgage on interest only

You really don’t need to have years of fees in the bank, that’s massively overthinking it IMO

On scholarships, what I meant was you can get a decent discount off fees without actually applying for anything. I hadn’t realised that until recently - it wasn’t obvious from the prospectus and was fairly well hidden on the website.

I suppose what I’m saying is that it’s worth him taking the exams, as it’s possible you might get a nice surprise in the offer letter which would make a significant difference to the financial calculations.

You have a very substantial income so not sure what the issue is - we manage on less than a 1/3 of that with a bursary - we pay £7k a year, full around here is £10k.

I suppose regardless of how much you earn you need to free up/generate the cost of the fees somehow. lifestyle changes work for some people and some private schools offer mortgage like finance deals spread over 20+ years too. depends on the school and where you live. Hopefully you can find a way to make it work.

Thanks to the last 3 posters. Feeling a bit more encouraged that given the figures, posters think it should be possible. I will look at the scholarship info again - maybe it is possible or at least worth a shot. If/when we get offers, I will go through the figures again with a budget planner and work out how we are going to do it. My ex currently pays £1,000 per month towards both DCs which I currently use to cover after-school childcare. He said he can increase that to £1,300 when DS1 goes and to £1,500 when both go. IF he sticks to this, then, in theory, this amount per month should cover the fees for one child. I feel reasonably confident that I could cover the fees for the other child if I get into the habit of putting aside say £700 per month and if I pay off my credit card before then and reduce other outgoings. Also, both grandparents have said they may help although nothing has materialised yet and I don't feel it appropriate to ask. Even if they do say they will, there is no guarantee they will stick to it.

Thanks Scotsmum. I was mulling it over this pm and had the crazy idea that, if things got very tight, we could always rent out the spare bedroom. Would probably get £700 a month as it's a large room on a separate floor with an ensuite. Not ideal but could be an option.

We took a leap of faith and have managed to put five children through private school. We live very modestly otherwise.

@worriedandstressedAAA no probs. I'm sure you'll find a solution. Best of luck to you.

@CraftyGin wow that's impressive. I see mums at the school gate with four kids (never mind five) and think 1) wow that's expensive 2) they must love this school 3) how did you get them here for 855am 3) how did you manage point two and not look like sh@t 😂😂

Annie, £7k is really cheap for a London indy. OP is looking at £20k per child, so £40k a year in total, which is unfortunately pretty standard inside the M25 now.

Pmsl at pp’s suggestion of asking for a discount. London schools are up to 10 x oversubscribed with parents willing to pay every penny, discounts will only happen if the child is so amazing that they are offered a scholarship or a bursary (v unlikely at op’s level of income)

the mortgage plus school fees is more than we take home after tax

If that is actually the case then you could apply to many private schools for a bursary/financial aid to help with fees.

A few primary, many prep and nearly all senior schools in my part of London will have a generous bursary scheme.

I would place your DS1 in state school but in year 8 assess how it is going and consider private school entry at year 9. For those first 2 years use money saved for tutoring if needed, paying off your credit card and mortgage overpayments.

We were lucky enough to get a large bursary for our daughter (they will offer the same bursary for our son but he's not old enough yet) because she went into the school on their first year of opening, they wanted local children and they only had 100 students across the school in the first year, their numbers have risen a lot since. She's in year nine now. It isn't a school in a city.

How much are your bills and how do they break down?

Do you take holidays, how often and on average what do they cost (Inc spending money)?

Will the school remove the need for you to also pay for after school childcare?

Will all extracurriculars be through school, or will you still need to pay for clubs/activities?

Do you ‘go out’, how often and at what cost from your own income?

How much money do you otherwise spend? ( coffee, cake, books, newspapers, plants for the garden, takeout, shows, cinema...)

You need to factor all of the above in and look very hard at ‘needs’ vs ‘wants’.

sendsummer, that's what I thought I would consider when we were making decisions for DS after primary school. But I realised moving from state secondary to independent school at 13+ would be quite tough on a child. Of course it depends on the child, where you live, and which school you are aiming at though.

Neleus if you mean academically tough outside tutoring can prep for that especiallly with free time from low amount of homework during year 7 to 8 in most comprehensives. If you mean that for some DCs it is tough to restart friendship groups by moving school then yes it could be but many manage it fine.
IMO it is so much harder doing the reverse from private to secondary because of depleted funds which is what the OP is risking depending on her DH’s coopération plus mortgage interest rates potentially increasing.

I meant both academically and friendship. Academically, in our particular case, it would have been tough as the school DS was allocated handed heavy amount of homework from Day 1. On top of extra-curricular, longer day and journey, there wasn't much free time. Doable but not fun at all. And, messing around after settling in a new environment/routine/friendship... I thought, 12-13 years old would be difficult enough age... But this was strictly in our case and others would manage just fine as you say.

OP, can you say which state school (s) you are most likely to get allocated?

I presume you are waiting for the Allocation Day in March 2019.

If you move you would need to make a late application to a new school in a new area and probably go on tne waiting list. Fine if you can move right on top of the school you like and it admits in distance because waiting lists are held in order of how you meet the criteria.

But honestly, unless you could move before mid March, and to very close to the school I would say you have left it too late for the state option. Unless your local state would be acceptable.

We might have more detailed knowledge of it.

“Half the children from the naice roads go to the state school and all the dc from the estate. Some of these schools are like a tale of two cities.”

Many London schools perform very well on this diversity of students, though. It doesn’t make them not-good schools.

Jillscarlett please name them and let me compare their gcse, A'Level results and HE destinations with the best independents closest to them.

I think you’ll struggle actually. We earn approx £165k and have one in from yr 7 through to 6th form. She has an academic scholarship which knocks off 20% of the £18k (and rising) fees. Our mortgage is (£1300 pm) and we have a lot of equity. Also saved 4 years of fees in case the worst happened.

I don’t think we could have put 2 children through. We don’t have foreign holidays anymore and eat out once a week. We have a nice car (albeit rented). I wouldn’t say we make ‘sacrifices’ as that’s outrageous to say when some people have bugger all by comparison, but we’d have more of a life of Riley without the fees. At the school I’d say we’re bottom tier earnings, most mothers don’t work, lots of big houses. But the kids all rub along well and no one shows off that I know of. There are also people there on bursaries (20% of kids) and they will obviously be far less well off than us.

Move to Lincolnshire! Loads of great Grammar schools, low population and the houses are very affordable. Plus it's beautiful and peaceful.

Huh? If you have 15k fees and 16k mortgage, how are you struggling on 165k/year?

On other posts, bursaries are, quite rightly, a no go at OP's level of income, no matter what their mortgage is. St Paul's has, I think, the highest threshold, where there are partial bursaries available at £100k. City is £70k for partial, £40k for full, and these are few and genius-level competitive. Scholarships in some of the top academics are also honorary (£250 per term) rather than substantial as they channel their money to bursaries.

We moved out of London to afford it. No way we could pay mortgage/rent in London and have children.