Are the girls in girls' schools very bitchy?

[PhilomenaButterfly]

DD's 1st choice for secondary's a girls' school, but my friend tells me that the girls can be really bitchy, and it might be better if she went to a mixed school.

What are your experiences?

I went to an all girls school and it has effected my relationship with other women all my life. I was luck that I had scouts to make friends outside school and my best friends were male.
I have other female friends who say the same about girls schools.
The local super selective all girls has a very high percentage of self harm in it’s pupils.

The local super selective all girls has a very high percentage of self harm in it’s pupils.
I suspect the emphasis there is super selective and the assoc pressure rather than a lack of boys tbf

well I don't know, I think you should tell your friend to butt out.
At least at girls schools, you wont get the situation of one girl in the year doing engineering and then having to listen to jokes about anal sex for two years while the male teacher 'doesn't hear'?

I went to an all girls high school and sixth form college and I loved it. A supportive and freeing environment. I wish I could go back to school sometimes!

It will just depend on the cohort. I wouldn’t discount it purely because it’s all girls.

I went to a girls school - it was at times bitchy but also freeing in a lot of ways (no problem with saying you had your period / asking for tampons in class or whatever, no reason to believe you couldn’t do STEM subjects because everyone else taking them were also girls). Overall I enjoyed it and wouldn’t change it! Ditto. I did get pissed off at never having the chance to do rugby or football though.

Having read all the responses I needn't be worried about bitchiness and DD not fitting in. We both prefer the girls' school, it's in the top 1% in the country and non-selective.

Thanks everyone.

The bitching and bullying at my mixed sex secondary school and DD's mixed sex primary school seem far more intense than any bitching at DD's all girls secondary.

My dd tells me that while there are lots of physical. fights at her mixed comp, they are all between boys, while her friend at all girls comp says there are frequent physical fights between girls there. I find that an interesting difference.

Windbeneath - I know what you mean. I still regularly meet with ex school friends and we all think we suffer from "All girls school syndrome".

OP - you are making the right decision, you can sort the single sex stuff out but you shouldn't pass up on such a good school.

I’m very surprised that any non selective comprehensive school is in the top 1% in the country. That doesn’t mean that there are not good non selective schools but in the top 1%?

Taught in both. Loved the environment and ethos in the girls' school I taught in. No more bitchy (actually, far less so) than the mixed sex schools I've taught in. I would definitely send my dd to a single sex school if I could.

My did is so happy and confident in her all girls secondary I was a mouse at the same age. Boys way meaner than girls in my mixed sex comp

I went to a girls' grammar school and absolutely loved it. My closest friends now are those I made there, even though I left 10 years ago. I agree with pp - there is probably less bitchiness over what is stereotypical girl drama as there isn't as much competition over boys, you don't feel the need to go to school with makeup and hair done every day, etc. Generally people were supportive of each other rather than horrible. Of course you do get some get bitches and bitchiness, but that's just life! I wouldn't have changed my experience at all. And we had two all boys schools just up the road, so there were no issues about not making male "friends" either!

My DD is at a single sex school. I find the idea that they’ll all be into pink and make-up and boy bands ridiculous!
My DD isn’t into any of that stuff. She likes maths and science and computing and DT. She won’t have the issue of being in a minority in those subjects (like I remember from my secondary school physics class )
They have school rucksacks but even if she could take her own there’s no way it would be pink.
As for bitchiness - not particularly, there’s a fair amount of drama though, but I think you’d get that in any school with a load of teenagers!

Oh and also DD won’t have to put up with sexual innuendo from the boys like she did in her mixed primary school 🙁
She has a brother and I try and make sure she does mixed activities outside of school, we also regularly socialise with other families with boys (so hopefully she won’t grow up being some weird seat-shifting flirting woman who can’t talk to men....)

Bubbles I didn't go in looking for pink rucksacks, but I noticed that there were a lot about, and then actively looked for any that weren't pink. I didn't see any, and we went into every single classroom. It happened to be Eid on the day we visited, so about 50% of the girls weren't there, but unless all the Muslim girls who were off for Eid had other coloured rucksacks, it does seem that the majority there really like pink. The bags, stationery etc are the only way the children can express their tastes at this school, will other girls take the piss because DD has blue or black bag?

I am not saying they do not meet boys. Of course they meet boys. But not in an equal learning or social platform. They may not see them as just classmates like the other girls. There are always plenty of older brothers/boys from sports clubs and in all my friends cases, they are coveted. It’s not the same as being in a class with boys and seeing them mature and grow through the years and having proper childhood friendships with them. They remain something separate.

The girls in mine were but my school had the reputation of being the bitchiest in the city. Still better than being sexually assaulted or shamed over periods etc.

will other girls take the piss because DD has blue or black bag?

I really doubt it. And if anyone does... well, that's probably a good way to work out who to not much want in your friendship group.

My feeling is that the kids who have the hardest time at school - whether single sex or coed - are the ones who are desperate to be in with the 'popular' group.

'You do you' may be a handy phrase.

They remain something separate.

Have you ever been that lone girl in a class? The boys were fine but I wasn't one of them. In the class where there was one other girl, it was somehow obvious we'd sit together.

Oh just thought, I'm silly
Told about my experiences - DD has just started at single sex secondary, and I know lots of girls who go there / have gone there.
They are all happy and loved it and they are a range of sorts of people - some outgoing some less so, some quite feminine in appearance some less so.
DD is pretty gender nonconforming, she is having a good time so far.

I'm sure it depends on the area / school and to an extent the cohort in the year more than anything else.
eg DD1 and DD2 year groups at primary school were v different in flavour with DD2 being much more stereotypical >> lots of pink glitter consumerism, some quite mean girls and cliques, while DD1 her year there was none of that.

On the whole I feel single sex education is positive for girls, if the school is good obv.

"It’s not even flirting or vying for attention sometimes, it can be as small as a fluster or a blush or a little shuffle in their seat"

hahahahahaha seriously?

Wow.

Yes. I have been the only girl in the class when I took economics. I sat with the boys. As I did in a lot of classes. My BF was a boy.

The girls in my DDs girls school are no more or less bitchy than they are in a co Ed School. The big difference is that there aren’t boys to add to the mix and in my opinion this actually can help matters. What I love about my daughters school is that the girls seem to throw themselves into school plays, dances, performances etc and are happy to make fools of themselves, I do wonder if they would be as inclined to do this with boys sniggering at them.