Are the girls in girls' schools very bitchy?

[PhilomenaButterfly]

DD's 1st choice for secondary's a girls' school, but my friend tells me that the girls can be really bitchy, and it might be better if she went to a mixed school.

What are your experiences?

[Magicroundabout321]

I went to two different girls' schools, and think it's ok but rather fake. I think it's healthier socially to have mixed schools, and make friends with boys as well as girls.

There wasn't any problem with choice of subjects though, and we were expected to succeed just as much as boys would have been.

[Kidsnowteenagers123]

I personally wouldn't be fussed whether the school was co-ed or single sex. What is more important is the leadership of the school. There will be various issues that arise in either type of school, but it's how they are handled I would be more concerned with. Hope that helps.

[Yogagirl123]

I went to an all girls school, I didn’t find it bitchy at all, of course people find their own friendship groups as they would in any school.

[Rudi44]

I don’t understand why there would be LESS ‘bitchiness’ at a mixed school. There are still cliques, large groups of girls etc. How does the fact that there’s are boys there change anything regarding this? My

[claraschu]

I agree with Trampire.

[Trampire]

I gave a dd and a ds. They both go to a co-ed comp.
They both have boys and girl as friends (and no not the relationship/boyfriend/girlfriend sense).
Both my dcs are massively into drama which is a huge thing at their school. The boys are hugely encouraged in this and it's pretty much always an even split between the sexes.

Not once has my dd been 'spoken over' in a science lesson or even had it suggested that Science is for boys. The head of Science is a Dr who happens to be female.

Re bitchiness - talk about a stereotype. My dd says their are often little friendship fallouts between boys and girls but so far she's managed to avoid it.

All girls wear trousers. There is no abundance of 'trying to impress boys' that I've seen. There's the odd boyfriend/girlfriend couples in maybe Y10/11 but it's not the norm.

Personally, I would of disliked a single sex education. Boys played a huge part in my enjoyment of school in general - both in lessons and socially. I'm still friendly with many of them (both sexes) over 30 years later.

[BackInTime]

My DDs both attend co ed schools and I have never once heard them put off a particular subject by the presence of boys. I have never heard of a girl not wanting to take science or further maths because there were boys in the class. Why are we still peddling this nonsense about girls being too meek and weak to cope in the presence of boys in the classroom. It is things like this that make girls think that somehow inferior to the opposite sex.

The main thing that has influenced my DDs enjoyment of certain lessons is the quality of the teaching. If the teaching is good, supportive and inspiring kids will love the subject regardless of how many boys and girls are in the class.

[Niquitic]

Whilst I have kids in both, what I have observed in the coed school is parents telling me that their DD loves science but hides the fact at school. Utterly sad, but not uncommon even now.

[iwanttoescape]

Surely times have changed whereby girls don't have to conform to stereotypes, where the presence of boys puts them off certain subjects and it's inevitable that they won't do as well in them?? My DD and her friends (at a mixed school) are forging their way in the world, not giving a second thought to the fact that somewhere these stereotypes still exist. They don't, if you don't let them, don't acknowledge them. They are winning debating competitions, selecting stem options, playing the same sports. I'm not sure segregation is helpful. It reinforces (perceived) differences. It's not real.

I went to a mixed school. There were bitchy girls there, plenty of bullying (mainly amongst girls/groups of girls). I had good friends - boys and girls, I imagine, as others have said, that you get bitchy girls everywhere, and nice girls. boys that are a pain in the arse and nice boys. So, to answer OP's question, do I think girls are more bitchy at girls schools? No, I don't. But, for me, that's not the point.

[foldingtable]

Our local schools have different entry requirements at 11 and 16. There’s no automatic entry to the sixth forms so I can’t use A levels as a deciding factor in choosing a secondary as I’d have no idea where the girls doing the a levels did their GCSEs.

Also our local girls school offers hairdressing and childcare GCSEs, but no other vocational courses; no car maintenance, no bricklaying or plumbing...

[ourkidmolly]

Facts are facts. More girls at girls schools do maths and science A levels than they do in co-ed.

[foldingtable]

YY Backintime. I listened to a similar speech at my local girls school. My initial thoughts were that it was making enormous assumptions about the sexuality of children who are only 10. If you’re daughter turned out to be gay would you move them from a girls school!?

[user1496003897]

In co-ed I would agree girls have to mature faster and there is a natural balance between genders. If pastoral care is not good it becomes the bitchy environment mentioned. So very difficult for Head of Schools to do the right job. A good co-ed may be a safer option especially in 6th form.

[madeyemoodysmum]

I agree with backintime
Girls are downgraded by segregation

I don't think it helps with equality in the slightest

[user1496003897]

there is a very different dynamics in a mixed school and a single sex school. in single sex the strength of the pastoral care is super important to keep a good balance.

[BackInTime]

When looking at schools for my DD the headteachers speech at an all girls school focused on how girls performed better without the ‘distraction of boys’. I personally found this idea quite offensive that they were pushing the idea that girls were so flakey that they had to be segregated, protected and sheltered from the distraction of boys. It’s just assumed that girls are weaker and that they cannot cope in the presence of males

[BackforGood]

My dcs all went to single sex schools for secondary. Not because that was a particular thing we were looking for, but because, at the time we were looking for each of them (all 3 dc, each 3 school yrs apart), the school(s) that happened to be single sex, were the best choices at that time.
I wouldn't generalise up from that, that all single sex schools and better than all co-ed schools though, just our experience over all those years, local to us.
One thing I would suggest though, is that you encourage your dc to keep up friendships in things they do out of school, that are co-ed. In truth, I think it is really good to have friendships out of school for all dc, but more so if they are restricted in their choice of friends whilst at school.

[Storminateacup74]

After todays events I would say YES YES YES!! I went to an all girls school and said I wouldnt do it to my daughter BUT it is a fantastic school and has amazing results. It shares a campus, library, computer rooms with a boys school. But the girls are so horrible to each other it is all about who is popular and my DD and her friends all want to be in the popular gang. We are considering moving her to the mixed comprehensive which has an excellent reputation for nurturing and pastoral care but the behaviour of some students is shocking. However all the girls I know who go there love every minute of it and there seems to be very little bitchiness they aren't very strict though and her current school is which I like. There uniform rules are quite lax and they don't seem too fussed if homework is't completed and therefore there results are pretty poor.

[claraschu]

I had the same experience as Windbeneath. I never heard that maths and sciences were for boys, and would have been outraged and sneery at such an idea. I went to a huge coed school, very non-sexist, non-bitchy.

[Ggirl27]

My daughter goes to an all girls school and is in year 9. She has the most amazing group of friends who are all very supportive of each other. I couldn't be happier!

[Windbeneathmybingowings]

I didn’t know that maths and science were considered “boys” subjects until I joined MN. All my friends took science a levels, I took economics. Plenty of boys were doing drama GCSEs as well.

[Satsumaeater]

I went to an all girls' school and it was bitchy. And there's no way I would have ever admitted to having my period! And they weren't supportive. And it mattered a lot what you wore. And what music you listened to.

Girls don't need boys to be competitive and nasty with each other.

However I think we do live in a more tolerant world now and eg kids listen to music of all genres. Back in the 80s you listened to music of the moment and were square if you didn't. Nowadays you can listen to anything. So maybe things are better in girls' schools nowadays.

[Taffeta]

It depends on the child, and I suspect, the school.

My DD has always preferred an all girls environment (Guides, Brownies, Rainbows) and was adamant she wanted to “escape” boys at secondary. She has quite enough at home with her elder brother.

Her school seems delightfully unbitchy. So far! (Y8)

Although I’ve friends with daughters in Y10 who say the same.

[madeyemoodysmum]

I friend of mine e has taken both her children out of single sex boys and girls because of bullying.
It's seems at our local girls they get on ok until year 8/9 but then for the unlucky ones the bitching starts.
I guess it's the personality of the child that counts.

[squeekyhead]

Bubblesbuddy. - my school did allow boys in at sixth form. The dynamics changed drastically. It was a much more pleasant and natural environment. Single sex schools have their place but the OPs post was asking about bitchiness in all girls schools and I have just stated my experience.