Have we got a starting Secondary School Support thread?

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

I’ve just just asked DD what the sandwich box and bottle are for in the fridge. It turns out she’s made her first packed lunch ready for school. She doesn’t start till next Tuesday

negiotated plain pasta for 50p saying all other school meals are robbing people. Sounds like my dad when we were young buying ice creams. "20p! What do you mean that's 20p? That's four shillings! I'd expect to keep the shop for that too..."

Ds has bought home his first report. Not too bad except art which he's not good at (nor are the rest of the family) and he clearly has not put effort in. He's done well in maths and IT (no surprise there) and coasted in the rest.

He's currently loudly bemoaning the meanest in setting English homework. Apparently it's the worst homework ever. They haven't explained anything, they're expecting far too much of any child, and they even only gave them too short a time to do it in (6 days). This has been now going on for 2.5 hours and I lost sympathy after about 25 minutes... It's due in tomorrow and he's out at rehearsal in half an hour.

Glad he got a good report Witchend DS has been telling me he has a new policy of only working with girls and his Asian friend as boys are silly at this age 😂 He said in French the back row was told to join people elsewhere and he "threw himself" with 2 girls and they came second. He said one question was what is video game in French, DS said I didn't know but it was important to appear clever so I said I know its video in my best French accent and I was right. 😱 Apparently all the girls bar two are more sensible than the boys. DS of course being super sensible 😎

Glad you've got the Ed Psych appt soon Penguins. at his pasta negotiating skills. Hope the migraine shifts asap.

witchend Did the homework get done? English is always the source of angst here. Well done to DS on his good report.

I've got the meeting about DS2's attendance tomorrow. I've got the GP letter, hospital letter confirming paediatric appt and I'm going to take photos of the planner on my phone, which is where I was told to write about what has been going on. Plus the emails, which have had zero response from the school! It's an outside company so not any of the school staff.

DD got stuck in a loop with her German vocab homework which she has to do online but the programme kept glitching and then jumping forward before she'd had time to type anything in. Trouble is, get one word wrong and you have to do the whole lot again. After this happened several times she was furious and I have sympathy. Still, she should at least remember the word for a floppy disk in German now.

Hope your meeting goes well DobbinsVeil. Sounds ridiculously complicated.

Good luck with meeting tomorrow, so OTT and all you need I imagine. DS's latest attendance has now gone up to over 90% but it was below before as they sent him home

DH is in Switzerland and DD wouldn't go to sleep until 3am, I wasn't even replying, she was just talking non stop to herself. I did get her to do an ADHD quiz and she said she got strong probability but added she didn't think medicine would benefit her. I said it was more for everyone else's benefit though wouldn't want her on meds. So tired today. School say DS is improving though apparently refused to do English assessment, argh. DDs grades have been put up a fair bit - 6 GCSE subjects are now at excelling and other at surpassing or achieving so getting there. Told me she got a negative behaviour point for talking in class though teacher had asked her to read board out to her friend who can't see well, presumably didn't mean whilst teacher talking though.

Got replies from his two old best friends to say they can come to his party which is great for DS. Not until early January but need to sort now. Migraine gone thanks but another work project in so 4 at once and getting very little sleep. At least DH back tonight - messaged me to say he'ld been to Xmas markets, out for a fondue and drinking in a bar so sounds like a tough job.

No one deserves being stuck on a German vocab loop cedar!

Glad DD's grades Have improved penguins. It's great DS is improving, English is very hit and miss with DS1. Hope you can catch up on work and get some rest when DH gets home.

Attendance meeting was fine, man was pleasant enough. It did start late which i may have mentioned was interesting for an attendance meeting! He could see I'd done everything they would expect and could see why I was unimpressed as the school have never responded to me. I also mentioned all the PE stuff.

I did refuse to sign their agreement form as it said I'd agree to only keep him off with the school's list of acceptable illnesses. I said as DS2 has unknown illness, when he gets something the school deem minor it wipes him out. Attendance man said it's taken from NHS advice. I pointed out that was based on a usually well child, which DS2 is currently not. I also pointed out letter was only addressed to me and why was DH not included (He's DS2s dad so has PR like me).

Apparently they'll send me stuff in the post so I'll see what happens about not signing the form.

Thanks Dobbins I wouldn't sign either. I try to never sign anything not happy with, only time I regret it is when I sign when I am not happy but then I e-mail in I am withdrawing my consent. Never found they can do anything. I had an illness last year they couldn't diagnose but us medic said lyme took the treatment and got better.

DD told me DS has secret santa. Tried to ask him about it and got told he can't tell me anything as its secret. Got to sleep but got woken up by really loudly howling cat, she hates when no one is awake and wants cuddles. Vet now thinks she maybe getting blood clots so got more tests which are £500, ouch. Apparently DS got grumpy in maths yesterday, may have been as DH was away, getting himself worried DH wouldn't arrive back at exactly agreed time. DH back now with chocolate. Cat was howling when he was away at lunch as he returns at lunch with food for me which cat eats all meat from. Quite impressed she knew time.

Spoke too soon about him getting better, just had a call from the Head. Argh. Annoying though as bet they are sending him home and keep marking it unauthorised when they suggested it.

oh no Penguins, I hope he's o.k. and can start afresh on Monday. This last part of term really can be the worst, particularly for my DC with ASD. Too much Christmas. Saying that, I've got DS4's nursery nativity this afternoon. Awww I do love a nursery nativity.

Ds said he had secret santa too. Followed by "What is Secret Santa?" then disgust as he's got to buy for a girl.

Hope you had a lovely navity Dobbins

Not a girl Witchend though DS is changing and said its important to impress girls

DS came home with DH very distressed screaming then calmed down when DH left but wouldn't speak for 2 hours. Just getting back to normal now. Head spoke to me and said he had issue in tech were left class but TA got him back in then got upset in science they think about a test then refused to go into French, sat in corridor with hands over ears. As it was by were they store dangerous equipment 6 staff came and then as lessons stopped 200 or so kids appeared and DS started screaming. About 1/4 of school couldn't get to lessons.

DD wanted to help DS but teacher said no and said everyone must go onto field. Then kids started arguing DD should be able to help brother. Teacher said no. Then at least the 200 kids left but by this time he was quite distressed. Head said normally she would exclude a child for this but won't due to SEND but is unsure if school can cope and he may need a special school and she's worried as well as he's so distressed plus its disruptive. Said he could stay home Monday if he wants unofficially but said think he will be fine by Monday but maybe do less lessons so he's going into a quiet room on Monday. Doctors on Monday to start autism assessment and ed pscyh on 12th. Said he's very bright so would only consider mainstream with cabins for autism but can't get it without diagnosis. She seemed to think he would get EHCP.

Penguin

That sounds ridiculous.1/4 the school couldn't get to lessons because 1 child sat by some dangerous equipment. Surely they must have dangerous equipment under lock and key anyway or if he wasn't distressed, could they have got him to agree he wouldn't go to French and find him somewhere safe to calm down.

And not letting your dd help sounds like shooting themselves in the foot. Surely if he's that distressed, unless he was likely to lash out at her, then anyone who would help would be a good idea.

Ds has had the last two days off with a burst ear drum. He was so happy to tell me his ear drum had burst as the GP says he shouldn't be at school if that happens so he was almost dancing with delight.
He told me tonight that he loves having bad ears.

Pood DS with burst eardrum, doesn't say much for school if that's preferable.

I'm a little puzzled how 1 child refusing to go into lessons escalated in 206 people involved. DS was in a corridor and one classroom not too far away has what they call dangerous equipment in it - not entirely sure what that is - science equipment is regarded as dangerous as is design and technology equipment. Husband went round it before and said he was at what the kids have access to - have the impression its just out. The kids then I believe appeared in corridor when wanted to get to next lesson and where all sent onto field after a period of watching. As far as I can establish DS was just sitting on the floor screaming at times with hands over his ears and he is tiny - weighs about 5 stone. I would have thought there's a better way of dealing with it, issue seems to be dangerous equipment otherwise they either leave him or just get TA both of which are fine. I was wondering why they can't lock door - only thing is if kids are in there maybe its a fire risk though sure doors were locked in my day. Established from him it was a science test but that's as far as it got.

DH says its lots of saws and screwdrivers but they can't be locked away and says he's seen same in other secondaries. Didn't have them in my day just odd bunsen burner which got locked away. You would have thought they could lock door though but maybe a fire risk? Seems odd they allow the equipment though as there's always kids in schools with behaviour issues.

He's so used to burst ear drum (8 in 2 months was his worst period) so he doesn't really regard it as more than an inconvenience. Once it's burst it doesn't hurt.

I would argue that if the stuff is so dangerous it needs 6 adults to stop a year 7 get to it, then what's the risk assessment there? So a year 11 could come out of lessons and just access it? Hmm. That's not a risk then?

He needs to have someone to support him in that situation who he trusts that can just guide him away to somewhere he can feel safe. Poor ds.

penguins Hope the Ed Psych meeting tomorrow is useful and they can give the school some strategies, as it sounds like they could do with some advice.

DS2 returned home distraught as he'd lost his tie on the bus. Despite reassuring him it was fine as I have a spare, he was inconsolable. He's adamant nothing else is wrong. Has since calmed down, been very cuddly.

I've not had a reply to my email complaint, I politely enquired what was happening with it last week as it wasn't clear to me what stage they were handling it as, and no response. DH says just to leave it as they are never going to get the PE teacher to admit he was wrong, and DS2 has years of this teacher at the school. He's probably right so I won't follow it up. Pretty crap though

Thanks Witchend and Dobbins Went to school today but apparently just sat in corridor and refused to communicate. Asked him what problem was and he said it was as they were trying to put him in the learning hub all week and he wouldn't see his friends or learn anything in there as they apparently just give him sheets of questions but no teaching or books to learn from. He has access to online science and maths. He also wants to go to Xmas Fayre but Head said he can't.

Sorry to hear you didn't get far with complaint Dobbins Only 5 days to end of term here.

Managed to get SENCO to agree he can go into lessons this week as long as he's calm and explained that to him and they've agreed he's going to the main lessons with just the dangerous equipment ones being in the "learning" hub and agreed he can go to Xmas Fayre. SENCO said they very much want him to stay at this school so think Friday must have just been a bad day for Head.

How did the Ed Psych visit go Penguins? Hope DS has been o.k. and the plan agreed by SENCo is working.

DS2 managed to lose the piece of card he was given in lesson for his French homework yesterday, which needed to be in today. Rather than put it in his folder, he'd put it in his blazer pocket. Not enough time apparently . Fortunately I had some card. He was in a complete daydream this morning and had to leg it out the door. I assume he made the bus!

DS also loses everything not attached to him Dobbins He said yesterday was good and came home happy which was great. Got a message from school asking if he self-harms as he was pointing a compass at himself, DD said the school kids said to her he was trying to kill teacher with a compass Knew that wasn't right as sure school would have mentioned him trying to kill a teacher.

Asked him and in drama they wouldn't let him take part - argh - and so as he was "bored" he was circling his compass. Said wasn't aware it was sharp - lives in world of his own - and just likes spinning it.

DD has been really ill - violent headache, being sick, lips went blue two nights in a row - told her not to go to school yesterday but did as she knew best and thought parcetemol and lucozade where all she needed not rest. Looked like death last night and also mentioned she may have taken more parcetemol than official dose over last 3 days by accident. Don't think she has - she is supposed to ask for medicine and always has before - took her to hospital - they also don't think she's taken over and blood tested her and just found normal levels but are keeping her in on a drip - been in about 12 hours so far and has at least another 12 to go.
(Post edited by MNHQ)

Ed Psych went well and SENCO said they have 2 ideas.

Xmas name change btw!

Can I ask when the form is posted out for secondary for those in the final year of primary?

We applied online and deadline was 31 October by us of year 6 - can still apply after but counts as late application. Google secondary school applications and the name of your council / LEA.

Hope you don't mean this current yr 6 as you have missed the deadline/ applications were due in on 31/10/18. no applications are sent out - it is all done online.

Long National allocation day is 1st March 2019.