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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

Original poster

Have we got a starting Secondary School Support thread?

989 replies

JiltedJohnsJulie · 30/08/2018 17:49

I’ve just just asked DD what the sandwich box and bottle are for in the fridge. It turns out she’s made her first packed lunch ready for school. She doesn’t start till next Tuesday HmmSmile

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elkiedee · 19/09/2018 16:21

I was talking to my stepbrother (our parents met and married each other when we both adults and had long since left home) at the weekend and he was telling me that his son racked up about 100 detentions in years 8 and 9 and a couple of fixed term exclusions and is ok now. He's just started in the sixth form and he's at a very oversubscribed school in one of the poshest bits of the same London borough as me, and they don't let just anyone stay on.

DS1 just back from going to the school library to use the printer there for homework booklets. All good. The ruler is an extra one. TeenTimesTwo, he probably has more than enough stationery to do that but needs something to keep things together in at home.

marioncole · 19/09/2018 18:13

First time in the thread but in need of support 😟

DS had just told me that a kid punched him on the jaw today. He didn't know them but apparently they were friends of someone he was hanging around with. He doesn't want me to say anything to school because he says if he gets a 'reputation' then nobody will want to be friends with him.

He's been struggling to settle, he was very anxious in week 1, he's been saying the lessons are boring. All his old primary school friends seem to be loving it and he just isn't 😟

Gileswithachainsaw · 19/09/2018 18:36

Oh nomari . Kids can be so nasty can't they Angry

I hope the shits get sorted out!

I came her to say that the good news is that after mucking about when they had to work together with dd, trying to get her onto trouble for making a mess which she had nothing to do with and being rude to her and kicking her all through an ict lesson they were finally told off.

However I'll leave you to guess the response from her form tutor when she told her they Had been kicking her chair and kicking her all lesson Angry

redsummershoes · 19/09/2018 20:05

dc has been invited to lunch with the principal.
for good overall conduct apparently.

dc is not happy to lose lunch break Confused but is proud as can be Grin

FrayedHem · 19/09/2018 20:06

Your poor DS marioncole. I hope it's a one-off, not that it should ever have happened in the first place. Must be worse if he's feeling unsettled still, I'd keep an eye and have a quiet word with the school if you are getting concerned.

Sorry DD is being bothered still Giles and the form tutor isn't being helpful. It sounds like the boys need a severe bollocking and splitting up at the very least.

DS2 had a minor incident on the bus. A boy (also yr7 but not anyone DS2 knows) very rudely demanded DS2 move as he said DS2 was sitting in his seat. (it transpired DS2 was sitting next to the boy's sibling). DS2 gave a sarcastic reply about the seat not having his name on it and that's not how it works. The boy continued to demand, DS2 refused. Boy hit DS2 on the head with a plastic container that had fruit salad in it(!). DS2 still refused to move so the boy squeezed in. I'm quite shocked DS2 sat down stood up for himself. He ended up without any blankets the first night of the residential as another boy took his, and has had a lot of low level crap like that through primary. We've been telling him he needs to sharpen his elbows a bit.

He left some homework at home that was due in today. The teacher has said that he can hand it in first thing tomorrow.

FrayedHem · 19/09/2018 20:07

That's lovely redsummershoes well done to your DC. Grin at the conflict over losing out on some lunch break.

Gileswithachainsaw · 19/09/2018 20:10

Sorry DD is being bothered stillGilesand the form tutor isn't being helpful. It sounds like the boys need a severe bollocking and splitting up at the very least

They are apparently supposed to be seated in alphabetical order and boy girl boy girl except ones ignored that and sat next to dd and she's sandwiched between two of themHmm

Seems they also kept taking her stuff too and trying to creep over to her side of the desk.

De ja vu....

Hersetta427 · 19/09/2018 20:26

Sorry some of your DC's are having issues- hope it gets stamped on quickly.

Talking of YouTube vloggers there is a yr 7 girl (although not in Dd's class) who has a YouTube channel -one of her videos has 3.6m views !! DD says she has a group of fans that follow her around like puppy dogs. DD thankfully isn't in any of her classes as DD is top set and the girl definitely isn't !

cheminotte · 19/09/2018 22:01

Well my DS hasn’t told me someone has hit him but his eye is swelling up! Am taking him to the docs tomorrow as I think it must be some sort of infection. He was worried he’d get a detention for being in late but I said not for going to the docs.
So far this week: 2 detentions and 1 merit point!

AornisHades · 19/09/2018 23:51

You'd dropped off my TIO. Will catch up.
Dd spent 2 hours in tears at school today. It's starting to fall apart after a great start.

Gileswithachainsaw · 20/09/2018 07:20

Sorry to hear that hades

Have you managed to get her to talk about it?Flowers

redsummershoes · 20/09/2018 07:49

'big school' can be scary and intimidating.

I wonder if we do our children a big disservice by shutting them off from the outside world (often) until the end of primary school.

I hope all your dc adjust well and are able to be happy and confient soon!

Bunnybigears · 20/09/2018 08:20

redsummershoes do people shut their kids of from the outside world? In what way?

woman11017 · 20/09/2018 08:39

do people shut their kids of from the outside world
As things stand with a 'no deal' there won't be much scope to shut kids off from the outside world.

Car manufacturers are announcing shut downs for up to 6 weeks from 29.4.19, police leave has been cancelled from 29.4.19.

Will schools be open after Easter holidays, with medicine, petrol and food shortages?

Gileswithachainsaw · 20/09/2018 08:44

redsummershoesdo people shut their kids of from the outside world? In what way?

Perhaps we don't punch/shove/ torment them enough?

redsummershoes · 20/09/2018 08:54

primary dc often don't do much out of their home/school.
don't get themselves around on public transport. go to the movies on their own. often not even to the playground to meet friends.

and then suddenly - first day of y7 and they have to navigate public transport, older children at school, behaviours that they have no idea to respond to.

Gileswithachainsaw · 20/09/2018 09:03

So the kids who have been hit/punched just need to know how to respond ?

Bunnybigears · 20/09/2018 09:04

Oh ok redsummershoes we must live in very different worlds. I know you said most children not all but i honestly dont know a single child that has started secondary this year who hasnt been involved in out of school groups or sports clubs and hasnt been playing out in the street since year 4 or 5. Not to say starting secondary school isnt a big change and some will struggle more than others but I dont think you can equate the struggling kids to having been cut off from the world prior to secondary school. My child is very much what you would call a street wise kid but even he would struggle with being punched or pushed into bushes by older kids!

FrayedHem · 20/09/2018 09:19

AornisHades Sorry to hear DD is struggling. I think I remember you saying she has ASD. Are the school supportive? The SN boards can be a little quiet, but I've had loads of help from posters on there over the years. My eldest wouldn't have an EHCP without the help I got there. Not saying not to post about here, but just a suggestion if you need some BTDT experience.

Lougle · 20/09/2018 09:28

DD2 is bobbing along. Homework has flooded in, so this weekend could be very interesting!

FrayedHem · 20/09/2018 09:28

I had a lot of freedom growing up, played out all day from age 4, expected to just got with it, no chance of a helicopter parent. It didn't make me resilient (an MN fave), I have always been an anxious and socially awkward person. I just learnt there was no point speaking up because no one would help me.

FrayedHem · 20/09/2018 09:31

DS2 got in a real state last night. Some homework involved drawing (it wasn't art).DS2 really struggles with art stuff so he got himself wound up over it and was a sobbing mess. He's still not 100% well which really isn't helping. He's sent me a text saying he felt really ill so I told him to tell the teacher, but I've not heard anything yet.

spiderlight · 20/09/2018 09:34

Oh bless him - I hope he's OK, Frayed.

Gileswithachainsaw · 20/09/2018 09:35

Hope he's ok frayed

Poor thing.

Cedar03 · 20/09/2018 09:45

Hope he feels better Frayed

DD seems to still be doing OK. She hasn't had too much homework so far although its ramped up a bit from just decorating books. I think quite a few lessons have probably been a bit boring so far because they've done a lot of sorting out the class, giving out textbooks, telling them the rules. Last time she said textiles was boring but this week she enjoyed it. German and Spanish seem to have been more fun as well.

She is quite organised but sometimes over thinks this. She wanted to bring home all her books rather than leave the ones at school that she doesn't need for homework. That way she would know where they were. I'm hoping the weight of the books will put her off doing that and she'll start to get confident that if it isn't at home it will be in her locker. The other thing is persuading her to leave the ones at home on her desk rather than spread all around the house - where of course they can get lost!