GCSEs 2018 (15) The Reckoning

[mmzz]

thread 14
The next step of the all new GCSE journey.

Sost so glad to see you and now-full-grown Pup! It is too hot and I’m fed up with it. I think your dgd would much rather be near you at the moment than roaming around. It’s brilliant that she organised and did her work placement. Wish DS had that much gumption. And she knows you are always there for her.
Also, it’s really understandable for dcs to be unsure at the moment because they can’t make plans till they know definitely what they’ll be doing next. I’m just relieved that DS does appear to be sure of his A level choices. Until we see the results, perhaps!

Oh Sost - I'm the one who started all this NCS stuff with my plea for support on Thursday. I am also the one who said I wished DD had a grandparent like you months ago. You rock!
DD is a home body too and I am sure the hospital placement your DGD has organised for herself will be even better than any NCS course when it comes to her getting a place in Medicine. I think they are all having those 'what if' feelings at the moment reference results.
I am giving you this because you are one - for the support you give and the bravery you have shown.

We don't have the money to do things either, Sost. We are not having a holiday this year, of any kind and day trips will be a rarity.
I make myself feel better about it by reminding myself that the boys are happy just being at home. I am telling myself that when they are adults and earning their own money, they'll be able to visit all these wonderful places with friends or wives / girlfriends. In the meantime, they are loved, respected by us and looked after. Those are the foundations every person needs when growing up.

It does sometimes feel like the rest of the world is having a ball, and we are watching from the outside but everyone has worries -financial, physical health, mental health, relationship, their DCs futures etc - so it is just a case of the grass always being greener.

Sost - I think DCs definitely needed some down time over the summer holidays and as long as your DGD is doing what she wants that is all that matters....and I think? you live on the coast so why pay for a holiday when you have it on your doorstep...I would dearly love to live closer to the coast. I also think its understandable to have exam result nerves.

I am an older mum, 41 when I had DD so I was determined to make the most of the school holidays whilst I had the energy and I;ve voluntarily run a travel group in my spare time for the last 11 years which has in turn made me a very savvy traveler and its also allowed DD to do some of the things I cant...she skies/snowboards/abseiling etc because others kindly take care of her given I take care of all the other arrangements.

DD seems to be maturing by the minute (I have had my doubts and have not found parenting easy -not good at biting tongue and definitely harder when DD has two homes and parents who have split). She just seems to be growing with confidence day by day and I was super impressed with her on holiday when she stated that most of the teens were smoking and she had the confidence to not follow the pack even when pressurized just to try....

Thankfully happy to leave DD to stay at hotel alone tonight and I can give the plane spotting a miss and get back to the washing!

@Sostenueto
Great to have you back - you have been missed!

I also want to echo that it's not all about money and trips. DD has been away with her DF this week (another single parent until a few years ago- it's actually my anniversary today!) and she would far sooner have stayed home.
Next week DD and I are off to USA on our own for 2 weeks and then that's it. No more breaks. No trips. I have one week of annual leave during the exam results period which we will spend nail biting.

You are seeing us all write about trips, holidays, tours etc but that's between all of us - I don't suppose there's a single one of us whose DC is spending the summer holiday going from one thing to another. And I don't suppose there's a single one of our DC who would want to either

Your DGD has excellent work experience lined up which will help her in the future far more than a trip to XYZ (insert UK town here) with a DF that she doesn't even like very much!

Your DGD has the most important thing of all - a loving supportive family, and no amount of money in the world can buy that.
You are a

Sost I know where you are coming from, my ds is not doing anything other than lazing around, gardening for Grandparents and a week's holiday. I too have felt he is missing out. But I am seeing developments - no quibbles when being asked to do housework, wrapping up his Grandma's Birthday present and writing in the card and getting the train on his own. In a couple of years time having grown in confidence who knows what he will achieve. All credit to your dgd for taking the initiative and organising her work placement.

sost friends of ours have long haul, exotic holidays abroad at least 3 times a year. Their DS had a major tantrum this year as he didn’t want to go and wanted to go and see Plymouth Argyle play football instead!!

Sostenueto it's good to hear from you. The hospital placement sounds really useful and relevant for her future career plans. Don't underestimate the value of a supportive, involved grandparent. Without mine I would not have achieved what I have.

Sost I haven't posted about the rows about DD putting on the washing at 5pm, not doing any chores and generally treating the house like a hotel. She goes from one extreme to another and is treating her home time as an excuse to do nothing. Very frustrating when I'm at work everyday & would appreciate not having yo empty the dishwasher before thinking about cooking. (I'm whinging now).

I'm with you Sticker. I got home from work to carnage in the kitchen. DD likes making pancakes so there was a trail of batter, sugar, lemons, nutella plus loads of other dishes and pans.

I exploaded so they loaded dishwasher and walked away leaving rest of dirty dishes. I shouted at them to come back and WASH UP. "How?" Said ds. DD gave instructions until she was told to get a tea towel and wipe up and put away
How retro
I was so mad they didn't argue.

I'm lucky in some ways that I work in a school so I get longer (unpaid) holidays. I haven't been able to make the most of the time after the exams as while all 3 boys have been home, I still had work. My school finished really early last week so we went away this week. It's the first holiday in the summer I've taken with the boys that isn't normally staying with friends in Cornwall.

I do have friends that can afford lots of holidays, but they all have something about their lives that isn't perfect, DC with SN, health issues, worry about their marriage, elderly parents to care for, etc. They are all lovely people though, and I can't begrudge them. When ExH has expensive holidays but takes the kids to Weymouth that pisses me off!

I may have already posted about this on here, sorry if I'm repeating myself.

Ten days ago I had a meeting after work and got home at 7ish. The older two (Y13 and Y11) had been home all day. The younger two had been home since 4ish. When I got home, an entire dishwasher's worth of dirty crockery/glasses were stacked on the kitchen surface above the dishwasher.

DS1 had gone out, so I asked DS2 why he hadn't put the stuff in the dishwasher (instead of on top of it) put it on when full and then emptied it.
"You didn't tell me to."

After DS1 and DS2 return home on Monday, I'm going to have to make my expectations clear. All of my children are now 14 or over, and are capable of clearing up after themselves. This is not a hotel.

Oh yes Third I have to text precise instructions otherwise nothing would be done! Doesn't occur them to do anything chores related.

Aargh! "You didn't tell me to"!!
My reply is always "I don't tell you to wipe your bum either"

Terfterf I'd fear what I would learn I'd I were to say that!

Funnily enough I had a conversation with both DSes today that in my mind 16 is when you should start pulling your weight at home. If it needs doing, and you're there, then put the washing on, hang it out, bring it in, dust, hoover, clean the bathroom, make dinner, wash up, cut the grass, empty the bins etc. Obviously, less will be required if A levels intrude.
The boys agreed, but, DS2 seemed to not be doing the calculation that it will apply to him too in 18 months time.
It really scares me that in two years time, all our DC will be about to start living away from home, because in DS1's case, he doesn't even think about the need to do those jobs.

Only 18 months between your two mmzz...that is full on!

gettingrimmed it was in 2003 when I was pregnant again and DS1 still wasn't crawling, but it's been quite easy overall because they've been at similar stages as they've grown up eg swimming lessons together so I haven't been pulled in two directions.

Sorry about the inadvertent name change... my phone has a mind of its own!

mmzz your phone has a filthy mind

Photos have appeared on twitter of day 2 of the concert tour.

• DS2 is wearing the correct clothing.
• They got a standing ovation.

Hi all! Don't take no notice of my posts this morning. I was feeling low and I am glad that holidays are being enjoyed
Thanks for all best wishes from all
thirdofhername is orchestra National Youth Orchestra? And great to see DC touring with music groups brings so many memories back for me!
Went for botox injections in feet today for my dystonia. I was going to ask if they could improve my face with some but they wouldn't have enough in clinic the size of the needles ( length) brings me out in a sweat! In a week I will have a lively flat foot and be able to wear sandals for a week or two! Divers boots in temperatures of 30 degrees is not good and don't go with a skirt or dress!

Only a year between my dds! Took 10 years to fall for first then went to doctors to ask why no monthlys to be informed your 5 months pregnant!

Sostenueto it's his school orchestra. He has been waiting to join the orchestra for some time, but the standard is high (mostly Grade 8+). A couple of very talented clarinet players are leaving this summer and DS2 was invited to join, luckily just in time for the tour.

Which is another reason (on top of great teaching, and excellent SEN provision) that he hopes to get the grades to continue there for sixth form.

Thethird I could record your conversation & play it back on a loop. I still come out in a sweat thinking about trying to give instructions by text on how to put on a load of washing a few weeks ago when I was at work.

I'm a great believer in the chunky footwear & summer clothes look Sost so wear your battle scars with pride. Not so keen on the needles though. I'm currently reading "Notes on a Nervous Planet" by Matt Hain. Two key phrases which leap out on me a few minutes ago, which I know you already live by:

1. Don't try to be like someone who already exists. Enjoy your difference.

2. Remember no one else is ever worried about what your face looks like.