Nearly everyone received a prize but my daughter-disappointed mum

[ROZ12]

Nearly everyone received prize but my daughter-disappointed mum at prize giving today. My d is at an academic school - her choice and in year 10. She does struggle and everyone around her and me seems to have a clever kid with numerous extra curricular activities going on. My daughter can barely keep up with homework- she is a slow person but conscientious.

She has never been To prize giving and this year they were fairly generous with the amount of certs they gave out, even girls who were less academic than mine revived prizes? She is currently at a grade 5 In all her subjects but competing with very academic girls. We just feel odd ones out as in four years nearly everyone has been given a prize apart from her? I Just feel is my kid the only dumb one in school? I also have work colleagues with gifted children and I feel complete opposite? Why is my child so different? I feel disappointed that I didn’t place her in a non competitive state school.

Why do they give so many prizes? At my DC's school they give one for each subject, then there might be one for winning an essay writing competition, or something. Maybe 12 per year (150 pupils per year).

It is digusting that 5s aren’t good enough. That’s your selective system. Get her tutors if you can afford it. Since when have Cs and Bs become undesirable? I would still move her at 6th form regardless of yr 11 results because they will do the same at A level. Dd’s friend at super selective London 6th form has been told she can’t do a subject in yr 13 as she got a C in end if year test. That’s her aim for medicine gone

Well, if she just has to work harder then I wish I hadn’t wasted my time giving you advice about dyslexia!

I’m
Definitely taking at advice and getting her tested already emailed head of year.

We have already looked at comp sixth form and happy to change.

Why so many prizes? I dint know?

The prizes must be for extra curricular activities as well - they can't all be academic/progress prizes. Some of the prizes might not even be 'prizes' as such - music certificates, school colours for the U15B team for rounders.

It sounds like you are disappointed you don't have the prestige of having a high achieving child. Anyone who refers to their own child as dumb is an utter arsehole

They all got caller after assembly, as one mum said her dd got 6, 7, and 8s and she would be dissapointed with 5s at a selective school

What do you mean here? Have some of the parents complained about the end of term results? Surely the school aren't running retests in every subject? Which subjects specifically?

The clinics are likely to be weekly drop-in help sessions run by teachers at lunch-time/after school. Sometimes high achieving sixth formers help out at these.

Prizes were in subjects and also there was things like overal os achievement, highest average etc.

Testing will be done in core subject only.

In answer to extra curricular awards they were given st end of term assembly . My dd didn’t get any of those either.

From the old KS2 level 5, the expectation at GCSE, IIRC, was that the child would achieve a B or above. So a 6 in 'new money'. So if achieving 'only' a level 5 generally at the end of year 10 is now being attributed to the student not working hard enough (although I thought that upthread, she was said to be doing lots of work for little gain?), 6s and 7s should not be an unrealistic goal for next year.

A very oversubscribed school attracting lots of candidates at the top of the range might be expected to boast only the top grades in their GCSE / A level results. But it would be very odd to have a year group consisting of all Grade 8/9 students bar one, so either the school is selective but not overly so, or she somehow did better in the entrance tests than her subsequent academic achievement / progress would suggest?

as one mum said her dd got 6, 7, and 8s and she would be dissapointed with 5s at a selective school

Yes, that was me. If my dd had passed the test for a selective private school and she ended up being predicted 5s for GCSES I would be cross and wanting to know why (I would presume school rather than child)

But you say they aren't predictions, they are what she is achieving NOW, in which case, as I also said (which you seem to be ignoring) that is absolutely fine and means you can't rule out 7s in a year.

I've been to a lot of awards days and I've never seen 40 prizes in a year. I'm not sure I've got that right either, is that really what you meant?

Yes 40 prizes

Yes 5 if exam was tomorrow. But I was saying not one parent said their child achieved 5s end of year ten exams.

Not everyone is saying 6s and 7s I told you my DD got 1s and 2s at GCSEs , your just choosing to hear the people with higher, like it's a competition.

Testing will be done in core subject only

I'm still confused - is that one core subject (ie only Maths) or more than one core subject?

huh? I don'tt hink you are listening

my dd did get a 5 as it happens, in Spanish.

my dd also didn't win a prize or get a typed mentino in the end of year booklet thing (also selective private) apart from doing bronze D of E

she loves her school she's happy there, she's doing well bobbing along top-ish of the middle

She'll alsmost certainly never win a prize but I don't care because it DOESN'T F**KING MATTER!!

So core is maths science and English. My dd does triple science- so all three.

Jorah one 5 in Spanish that’s not bad if others are above . Mine got mostly 5s actually 2 4s as well. In a selective this a cause for concern, hence retesting.

Prize thing is irrelevant now the testing is coming up.

So core is maths science and English. My dd does triple science- so all three

Yes, I know what core subjects are but you wrote core subject without the 's' on the end. Just to clarify - your dd is having retests in Maths, English Language/Literature, Biology, Chemistry and Physics as soon as she returns to school at the beginning of September?

Op-what GCSE grades would you be happy with?

Yes but not English as she got high five.

I’m
Happy for my dd to get 6 and 7s as I know her ability and 5s in maths and sciences.

Although it sounds as if 50/70 had them this year I can see that if she hasn't had an award in 4 years then presumably some of the other 19 who didn't get one this year got one last year.

In terms of testing it isn't that a 5 is a poor result, but if this child is capable of getting a 7/8 with the appropriate intervention then of course the OP should do something. Many people go undiagnosed until late secondary/ university. They have always had to work a bit harder than others but because they are doing ok, and meeting expectations they aren't picked up. When the demands increase they are already working at capacity.

In terms of testing you will probably need to fund it. I would not wait until September, you could arrange it over the summer. I would look for someone who can test for dyslexia and for Irlens syndrome. For Irlens syndrome tinted glasses can make a big and immediate difference. Look at Irlens you tube clip and see whether any of the symptoms are familiar to her. It is exagerated but illustrates some of the issues some people have who have Irlens.

"Happy for my dd to get 6 and 7s as I know her ability and 5s in maths and sciences."
She's on track for that. What on earth is all the fuss about?

I’d take a kind, hard-working child over someone with random prizes that mean nothing any day.

Don’t call a kid dumb, especially not your own kid!

Are they kind? Are they warm? Are they thoughtful? Are they respectful?

These are the things that truly matter!

“High achiever” here, won all the fecking prizes, right through to a fancy PhD. I couldn’t care less, prizes are made up to encourage or school to show off (look at our fancy pupils) but they separate. Schools should be recognizing everything, kindness, hard working, generosity, showing up, all the important things!

It’s not a measure of a human quality in any way. I care about being kind, grateful and generous, that’s how I measure myself and others.

Emotional intelligence over academic intelligence any day.

She is kid and respectful but frustrated and angry with her achievements I never show it to her this is all inside me I never express my concerns to her.