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Secondary education

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Nearly everyone received a prize but my daughter-disappointed mum

149 replies

ROZ12 · 06/07/2018 23:51

Nearly everyone received prize but my daughter-disappointed mum at prize giving today. My d is at an academic school - her choice and in year 10. She does struggle and everyone around her and me seems to have a clever kid with numerous extra curricular activities going on. My daughter can barely keep up with homework- she is a slow person but conscientious.

She has never been To prize giving and this year they were fairly generous with the amount of certs they gave out, even girls who were less academic than mine revived prizes? She is currently at a grade 5 In all her subjects but competing with very academic girls. We just feel odd ones out as in four years nearly everyone has been given a prize apart from her? I Just feel is my kid the only dumb one in school? I also have work colleagues with gifted children and I feel complete opposite? Why is my child so different? I feel disappointed that I didn’t place her in a non competitive state school.

OP posts:
Worzels · 07/07/2018 13:03

We had the same. My eldest DD was hard working and conscientious but academically average. At the end of the year most of her peers got awards for spurious improvements in behaviour or academic achievements. She didn't ever get an award as she was just so consistent and average. My NDN's DCs got awards (plural) every single year. But actually my daughter has grown into a lovely young woman and I'm super proud of her. Can't say it's held her back! Grin

ROZ12 · 07/07/2018 13:03

They want some retesting

OP posts:
Jorah · 07/07/2018 13:04

ok then I'm sorry but I wouldn't be happy with 5s. If its selective and you are paying for it I'd be going in to try and work out what's happening. Unless 5s mean that she would literally get a grade 5 NOW if she took her exam tomorrow, in which case I'd expect more kids to get 5s.

Are you sure it was actually selective sorry if that sounds patronising? Its quite normal for all private schools to test on entry for streaming?

BertrandRussell · 07/07/2018 13:05

That's all? Just retesting?

Pretend this is a garage tht is fixing your car. Would you be happy with the service you're getting?

ROZ12 · 07/07/2018 13:06

they have suggested clinics, a buddy from sixth form, practice papers etc

OP posts:
ROZ12 · 07/07/2018 13:08

5 means if she took exam
Tomrroe !

Yes the test at 11 was selective because everyone is super clever!!

OP posts:
ROZ12 · 07/07/2018 13:09

I’m
Sure others got 5 6 7 8 9 I don’t know I don’t check their reports!

OP posts:
ScipioAfricanus · 07/07/2018 13:10

Well if it’s an independent school then the school should be happy to get her tested for dyslexia (can’t tell if that is what you mean or if retesting is related to selective school) - you will be asked to pay! And then the school, assuming the dyslexia etc was serious enough, would benefit from her having extra time in exams and getting better results.

However independent schools can be useless with SEN and adaptations so you will still have to push for change by the sound of it.

BertrandRussell · 07/07/2018 13:16

I'm a bit baffled now about what your concerns are.

KittyMcKitty · 07/07/2018 13:42

they have suggested clinics, a buddy from sixth form, practice papers etc

Ok so the school have recognised there is a problem and have suggested things to try.

Have you / the school put these measures into place? If so what effect did they have? If you haven’t then you really can’t moan if you’re not following their advice.

CaveyWavey · 07/07/2018 13:45

5’s are nothing to worry about if she is working to the best of her ability. That’s a high C/low B in the old grading system. If she carries on working hard she should go up to level 6 by GCSE’s next year. 6 is a good grade but may not seem that way in a selective school if the majority of children are extremely bright. My year 10 dd is at our local comprehensive. She got 6, 7 and 8’s at the end of this school year but she is seen to be a high achiever at her school. The majority of students would achieve 4, 5 and 6’s at the end of year 10. Some even lower grades than that.

As for prize giving my children have never been awarded anything. They are good kids, polite, high achievers, work hard, do kind things for the school community and they never get anything. Life is too short for me to worry about their award system. Who knows what the criteria is for receiving something! They don’t seem bothered about it either.

Sounds to me like you are concerned that your daughter isn’t being supported? If I was paying for schooling I would be expecting a bit more support from them if they think her grades are low.

BlankTimes · 07/07/2018 14:08

I'd definitely try and have her assessed over the summer break, then she can start in September with interventions in place.

Quite often SENCO and the teacher who deals with applications for extra time in exams etc. are different people. If so, ask both where other pupils were assessed.

It may be that school has an arrangement with a specific assessment centre, or they may leave it to parents to choose which can be a bit haphazard if you don't know exactly what you're looking for.

ROZ12 · 07/07/2018 14:10

We are following advice agreed to the buddy , retesting and clinics. More support to come in September .

OP posts:
Jorah · 07/07/2018 14:12

5 means if she took exam
Tomrroe !

Well that's fine then. Dd took a maths practice paper a couple of months ago and got a 5. She's predicted a 7.

ScipioAfricanus · 07/07/2018 14:15

Sounds like she’s doing fine, just at a school where all the kids are doing well. At one school I taught at doing ‘badly’ at GCSE meant getting a B - that can be quite a stressful environment unless you are very strong across all subjects. She just needs to be celebrated at home by the sound of it but is on track to do very well by normal standards!

BlankTimes · 07/07/2018 14:43

We are following advice agreed to the buddy , retesting and clinics. More support to come in September

What do you mean by clinics? I'm guessing intensive tutoring or similar, different places have different names for it. Or did you mean learning support?

That's all good, but no amount of support from school on their own will address a problem like slow processing speed, or anything else that may be a major issue for your dd because right now neither the school or you know what that is.

Your dd needs to be specifically assessed so interventions designed for her can be put into place, so that she has the best chance of doing well and being the best that she can be.

Good intentions are fabulous, but the need for an assessment to outline any specific difficulties is essential especially at this age, otherwise if something's missed, (because schools are not qualified to assess many conditions) she could miss out.

Time really is of the essence in getting these things put into place and running smoothly. She will be taking her GCSE's soon, please get everything sorted by September, don't suddenly find things aren't great a few months before her exams when it may just be too late to do anything else.

ROZ12 · 07/07/2018 14:55

Where can I get her tested over summer?

OP posts:
FanDabbyFloozy · 07/07/2018 21:42

I think the readers here are reading this wrong. She got a 5 in year 10 so is on track to get a 6 (or more) in year 11/GCSE. This is not the disaster some of you are making out.

FanDabbyFloozy · 07/07/2018 21:44

OP - what does a retest mean at the school? Does it mean she has to retake the exams in Sept after a summer of studying?

I'd be supportive of this only if she has help. What use is it for her to study herself if she fundamentally doesn't get the core subject or topic.

As it's an independent school, I'd be asking them what support they're going to provide over the summer before they insist on a retest.

If they say "nothing", I'd be very worried.

ROZ12 · 07/07/2018 23:55

Thank you for making me feel better about the grade 5.

School just said retest in September told my dd on last day of term. Nothing they can support now school is closed it’s up to the girls to study in summer. Of course I will help her.

OP posts:
itscaaaaaminhome · 07/07/2018 23:58

Biscuit she’s fine. You aren’t.

WanderingTrolley1 · 07/07/2018 23:59

How lovely to call your daughter “dumb”!

LIZS · 08/07/2018 07:12

Retesting as in practice papers/mocks or for SEN? You could arrange the latter privately via a EP or specialist assessor. The Patoss website has a directory. You should be aware that any academic progress is not linear, sometimes things will just click. If school are offering learning support strategies accept it, she may benefit from reviewing the structure of model answers , mark schemes and what terminology to use.

BertrandRussell · 08/07/2018 07:16

Why are people suggesting that this girl has additional needs? 5s in year 10 are fine. She's on track for 6s and 7s at GCSE.

ScipioAfricanus · 08/07/2018 07:23

OP wasn’t very clear about what she was getting intitially. And if she is finding lessons move too fast, spending hours on work and not getting much done etc, she may still have processing/dyslexia. I have taught quite a few pupils with dyslexia who were still very able (though I suspect if the dd is getting 5 now with no extra time then she won’t qualify for it - but school would be able to better support her if they knew what the problem was).

However the concerns of OP seem to be various - not being rewarded though actually doing well/5s not being good enough/5s being okay because she is doing CIE. I have become a little confused about it too.