Boarding School

[RosieWoodCelt]

DH and I are choosing schools for daughters 10 and 9. We don't want state education as both think it underachieves and lacks proper discipline. Same applies to grammars. Eldest is exceptionally bright and we want a boarding education where she will be pushed hard academically from day 1. From looking at leagues Wycombe Abbey seems top. Anyone able to advise?

(I don't think that the charge of 'underachieving' can be applied to Pate's, even if you apply it to every other state school... average A-level results, % getting AAB or higher in facilitating subjects etc all higher than CLC

www.compare-school-performance.service.gov.uk/compare-schools?for=16to18)

Take your point cantkeepawayforever but I think it is co-ed which isn't what we really want and it lacks the weekend activities and programmes that you get with full-boarding. Doesn't really tick the boxes as a school for DD.

I understand if a day school is completely impossible for you because of the nature of your family life / mobility or because no suitable school is available locally. (DH would fit the former definition, I would fit the latter, so I know from personal experience that sometimes it is the best option).

However, in the years of debate on here about grammar schools I have looked at Pate's figures a number of times, and I cannot see anything about it that suggests it is 'underachieving'. Around 20% of its pupils were educated privately for primary (extrapolated from 'coverage for progress 8' figures) so there must be a reasonable cohort of 'previously privately educated children' choosing there as a secondary.

Ah, OK. X-posted. From your OP I deduced that you were looking for academic excellence above all - which as far as I can see Pate's would offer more of - whereas from your later ones it seems that 'boarding experience' / 'family logistics need for boarding' is more of a driver.

Is your DD at a single-sex school at the moment? I just wonder why you feel co-ed would be such an issue for her? Or are you going for the mixed primary/ single sex to 16 / mixed to 18 model that is meant to be the most advantageous?

Or is it just that you loved single sex boarding and want her to have the same experience? If the latter, I would only advise a little caution in putting your expectations on her. Both DH and I were 'lucky' to go to our boarding schools. We both understood our 'luck', and the parental expectations and needs that kept us where we were. It made it impossible to explain how unhappy we both, at times, were.

All aspects important but apologise if earliest thread lacked detail which, looking over one's shoulder, it does.

Yes, I’m really really jealous of the fact that your child won’t be living with you
I’m sure you think that you want the best for your children but I dont understand why you would think that the best thing for your child would be for them to,effectively live with someone else
Anyway, it’s an emotive issue and the thread is really about which boarding school rather than whether to go for boarding school at all.

Hopping, I am ex boarding school, and i don't send my children to a boarding school.

However, I do understand, educationally, why I was sent to a boarding school. I do see that some people's lives are such that it is in fact better for them to have the day to day and week to week logistics (and in some children's case, consistent nurture and structure) organised and managed by a school. I also see that boarding can allow a child to access a type / level of education or a specialist education (dance, music) that is not available to them locally.

Our DD will have way more stability during term boarding. DH away so much and my career involves long hours and travel.

Local boarding may then work well, especially if exeats etc are reasonably flexible - you can take advantage of the short times you / DH are at home to see your DD, whereas if she is a long way away that would be harder.

Looking at the school lists (which I did for the academic comparison) there also seem to be a range of other private boarding schools in the same town, should your other DD need something different but still nearby.

Whilst your post rings true in some circumstances, many state grammars in the U.K. get the top grades in the country surpassing many independents.
I went to a super selective grammar school alongside my younger sister.

If I didn’t into the grammar school I would have ended up at boarding school to join my older sister. Two out of the three of us sailed into uni and maintained careers, one of us came out with OCD and failed her a levels, oh and smoking as well until my parents swiftly put a stop once she returned home.

I’ll let you guess which of us went to which school.

Educational consultant is best idea they can also help you secure a place in some of the harder to get into ones. Going to see the schools is essential. Despite the above, I went to see a boarding school recently for my dd as a backup for if she doesn’t pass the 11+ with an aim of transitioning from day school to full boarding by 13, I was blown away by it IRL compared to just researching them online. The facilities were definitely better than any grammar I’ve been to.

Not sure if this will help but where ever I’ve worked in the U.K. my school is recognised and getting a job has been pretty straightforward the minute I mention I went there. I suggest you seek schools with a similar effect if you’d rather pay for it. They will be blindingly obvious once you really get researching.

Well worth it IMO as has always given me great confidence when applying for anything. You clearly care for your dd education and many people do enjoy boarding. I was actual jealous of my dsis

Fantastic posts cantkeepawayforever and mrssmithee . Feel free message me as interested mrssmithee which school you attended. You have both given great advice and Dh next week needs read through this thread with me. At least we have paid to register DD at five so options still there. CLC seems a front runner.

options are prob. CLC, WA, SPGS or Downe House.
I am confused, I thought you definitely wanted boarding so why SPGS?

You may be mobile and happy to move closer but if you are local to Cheltenham, the drive to WA is a real pain due to going through Oxford traffic and then traffic in High Wycombe, (especially going down the hill to the school). There is a train service from High Wycombe to Oxford Parkway but you still have to get to Oxford. You would n't be able to attend concerts or matches or other. school events or easily see them without likely at least a 4 hour round trip.

SPGS is not a boarding school - day girls only.

Educational consultant is best idea they can also help you secure a place in some of the harder to get into ones

Educational consultant won't influence getting into any of these schools, it just depends on your DDs meeting the standards for the entrance tests.
If you are unsure of what your DDs need and the options for schools then educational consultants can help with suggestions.

My impression is - as i say, I don't send my children private, let alone boarding, so this is very much 'people say' rather than 'I know' - that assessments for girls' full boarding schools are relatively easy (or rather, that the pass mark isn't terribly high) because the demand for such schooling isn't as high.

So the selectivity on entry for e.g. top grammars or the most selective day schools is much higher, and a girl who is 'reasonably bright' should be OK.

That's not to say the ensuing education isn't academically rigorous. Just that the 'we take only the top 120 of the 5000 who apply' type selectivity, or the world of the selective privates in London, is of a wholly different order of magnitude.

As parent of boarding dc I totally agree on the importance of understanding the time commitment for exeat/pick ups/parents evenings etc especially if your dd were at different schools. When problems arise the further the school is the more difficult it is to deal with the problem. And there are many issues that require a parent to sort - pastoral staff cannot replace all your functions.

What do your dd think about boarding?

Why would you come on a public chat forum and make a sweeping statement about state schools, claiming they ‘underachieve’ and ‘lack proper discipline?’
My brood are at an amazing array of schools (traditional boarding school, grammar, independent day and one at a state comp) and I can say from a position of some experience that each option has pros and cons.
But I can tell you that, amongst these, the school with the most rigorous discipline is the state comprehensive. It doesn’t have the academic results of the high achieving grammar or independent day school but that doesn’t mean it underachieves, given it takes children of all ability. I also suspect it has less girls with eating disorders or other anxiety related problems.
So not only are your comments thoughtless in insulting schools which most children attend, they are also not particularly well informed.

DD says happy with boarding as lot of others at her prep are doing same. We are convinced it is right for her in widest way.

I also suspect it has less girls with eating disorders or other anxiety related problems.

I would push any girls' school very hard for data on this, and for an explicit process they would follow for any child where an eating disorder / mental health difficulties are suspected. Another good reason why a local school where youi can hopefully see her pretty regularly on a fairly casual basis would be a really good idea.

I am ancient, but even in my day eating disorders at my all girls' high-achieving secondary were well-known - and a friend who is a child psychiatrist deliberately didn't send her DD to a selective private school as at her eating disorder clinics girls from there were highly over-represented.

Not sure why anyone would be jealous of a parent that doesn't get to see their child daily? I think you are deluded. People are probably getting a bit snippy because your tone was rather rude, I don't expect jealousy comes into it to be honest.
My daughter goes as a day girl to a wonderful independent boarding school. I am sure boarding school is right for some children or family situations but I couldn't stand not being part of her daily life. I would also say that some of her friends are doing equally wonderfully at the (shock horror) local comp

[That says more about the type of girl than the type of school - but collecting high achieving, driven, highly controlled, ambitious girls all together into a high pressure environment is definitely a risk factor!]

Rudi, I get the impression that the OP and her DH don't see their DDs daily at the moment, due to work pressures and travel, and therefore they feel that, under the circumstances, boarding would be a more stable and preferable option. for family logistics.

Would Benenden not work?
Old girl here too (waves)

Can'tkeepaway that's fine but you can express a preference for boarding without making rude and sweeping statements about state school and then comments about jealousy and I say that as a parent of a child at an independent school