Where do I find the 11+ thread?

[BaconAndAvocado]

That's it!
DS2 sitting his Kent test on Thursday and need some advice.

How did those dcs who did the test find it today? Don't want to discuss it with those local to me as all too horrible at school gate but is such a big deal I wanted to just chat a bit!

So agree with you Foxy about the CEM test papers. Example: 23 maths QQ in 9 minutes. WTF?!!

I'm having a bit of a (silly) wobble and feeling awful about it all.

I know that before this year, I was working full time and though we could have afforded tuition, we couldn't have worked out the logistics of it - I didn't pick up the kids from the childminder until 6.30pm so no chance to get to a tutor after school. And since I lost my job, though I could have got him to a tutor after school, we couldn't have afforded it, - round here tutoring is as much as £50 an hour. BUT I'm still feeling a bit wretched about it all and feeling like I've spoiled his chances. He might pass and we have done some preparation at home, but how can he compete with kids that have had tutoring for two or three years, no matter how bright he is?

There are good comps round here, and I'm not even convinced the grammar schools are all that, so I know I'm being stupid, but I feel so guilty!

Kathy, dont worry. You did your best and what worked for your family. I didn't get a tutor for my dd and she passed and I know lots who were tutored and didn't pass. My DS doesn't even want to take the 11+ and I won't make him-there are plenty of good schools round here. In my opinion your son is more likely to get the right school/ right fit for him because you haven't intensively tutored him. Far worse to pass because of tutoring and spend the next 7 years struggling to keep up despite what some parents think.

Kathy, I don't think doing a huge amount makes a whole heap of difference. I do think familiarisation is the key. And once familiar, what's left to do?

Hours and hours of test papers - but still the DC needs to be able to see the question and 'know' the answer. DC like my youngest, who is not slow by any means but is a methodical worker, and have had months of practise, probably aren't that much better off. She'll spend too long on getting a question right. She'd rather be accurate, and check her work. Not a desirable quality in this process. 🙄

I've done this several times already and I don't believe it's a way of 'creaming off' the 'best'. It's a way of selecting kids who at 10 years old 'get it'. My eldest did. He coasted up until about year 10, then, when the work required effort and application, came a bit unstuck. My youngest, who may not make the GS, will apply herself from the beginning wherever she is. The end result will be the same.

It's a shit system.

Sooooo glad it's all over. DS2 said it was ok.

He seems like a different boy now, no pressure. I've got my boy back!

Aw bacon that's lovely! I have put DD to bed in nervous anticipation of tomorrow.

Oh good Bacon, glad it went ok.
Kathy I think you've got it right. Our situation mirrors yours (even the £50 an hour for a tutor).
Why do we beat ourselves up like this?! I've been feeling shite for the same reasons, then the more grounded , less anxious voice inside me says: he's a child! Would he really have thanked us if we'd put him through years of tutoring?
Also feeling sick and tired of competitive parents at school who pretend they aren't tutoring but are (why?) but look on me with "pity" for having "left it so late".
DS in bed now. Off to make his favourite snack (cheese scones) for the break between maths and VR exam tomorrow. Oh, and a large glass for me then bed.

That's good news bacon

Am too looking forward to all being over and getting back to normality .

Feel like shit putting dd through it but if you don't try you never know and that one in a.million shot is better than no shot at all. Especially when the school she will likely go to is not some thing you even what to think about.. .

My meaningful contribution (as a Kentish yr6 parent)

The Kent test sucks.
Grammars are overrated.
10 year olds should spend summer holidays climbing trees not being tutored.
Kids with supportive parents are at an advantage.
Kids with rich parents are at an advantage.
It's not fair.
I blow a raspberry in the general direction of all things Kent test and grammar related.

I may have had wine.
Good luck to everyone whose kids have yet to take this hideousness in whatever corner of the country you are in and to those of us who survived it this week.

Bittersweet for me. Two equal ability twins. One 'underperformed'' God I hate that... and one got in a super selective 1300 sat for 150 places and one just missed out.

One just started grammar, one comp. It's been divisive for our family in so many ways. It's not fair on the twin who did not 'pass' as he was top set, top primary with his twin and similar 120/119 SATs. He has to see his twin go every day. Ironically, I think he is settling in better at comp though than his twin is at grammar.

I dont think any of us contemplated the impact not passing could have on both twins.

kitchen that's pretty much how I feel.

Middle I really feel for you. DD looks up to her older brother and is putting herself under pressure to match him. At least for me they are in different cohorts. For twins its so unfair. The whole system is shit.

Kitchen, you are absolutely right. I know people spending £400 a month on tutoring. It's so unfair.

My son has just told me that two boys in his class DID NOT GO ON FAMILY HOLIDAYS this summer because they "had to study". I am appalled. (And slightly desperate for my son to pass now just so I can feel superior for not pushing him.)

Bloody hell @KathyBeale that is nuts!

On the other extreme I know one (single, working) mum who discouraged her DD from taking the test because she was worried about the transport costs of sending her child to a grammar school.
Our town only has a comprehensive, walking distance from her home. The £280 a year travel pass is just too much for her to consider.

Such a rigged system.

Middle I feel for you too. This system is so not fair. Having said that, a child at the right school (including comp) can really blossom and I hope both of yours will. Nothing is set in stone or forever so once they've settled in (or not), if you feel a move would benefit either, you can do something about it, although I appreciate it isn't easy.

KDF: totally agree.

Now waiting on tenterhooks nervously scoffing a fry up while DS sits his exam this morning.

Calm, positive thoughts and best of luck to everyone.

Finished, last child, never again. RELIEF.

DS ok I think. At least he knows what it's like now.
Relaxing at last with Steely Dan.

I must say some of your comments about NVR made me laugh..... just because it's my DS's real strength. He just gets it, easy as pie he gets it. Whereas the stuff that I'd think was easy he finds tricky like spelling or some aspects of English / VR. Every child has a weakness and a strength and belittling his when he openly admits that some of the other areas wouldn't be easy for him I find bizarre and actually you sound jealous tbh. Just because you don't get it doesn't mean it's worthless. I've actually read that it's a great indicator of natural intelligence but I couldn't care less, we all think our children are amazing and they are, whether they pass a test or not. I wish all of your children every success and all the very best luck...

I have actually found this test hideous and a real eye opener. I know I've signed him up for it but looking back I'm wondering was it worth it?! Time will tell I guess x

Blowing out someone else's candle won't make yours shine any brighter.

😘

I'm confused. Who was blowing out someone's candle? I openly admit to venting as this stuff is challenging. Having said that DS is doing better at NVR than anything else during practice so he's probably more intelligent than I am

For all those celebrating the fact it's all over...

Well done to your amazing children for getting through it

Hope your nails survive til results day...

I'm sure they are smart and capable and you are so proud of them whatever the numbers say

I must have missed something ....

Oh blimey. I certainly didn't mean to criticise anyone who is good at NVR. And yes I probably am jealous. I don't understand it at all. But I stand by my assertion that it's useless! I'm well into my 40s and I've never had to work out what shape comes next in a sequence!

We will be in this situation in two years. What worries me is that we are close (ish) to one super selective but the other grammar schools are a long way off. So all our eggs for grammar have to be in one basket.