Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

Original poster

School's approach to UCAS - is this typical?

190 replies

GrumpyOldBag · 28/04/2017 14:03

DS is in his last term at a well regarded independent school. We have generally been very happy with it, and he is happy there too.

However, the whole University Application process has been a bit of a mess and I am interested to know if this is typical.

Last year we were given no info by the school about Uni Open Days until the start of the Autumn term, so missed most of them last summer and had to catch up over half-term in October. I only became aware of the process through friends with kids at other schools talking about the visit they'd booked. (I've noticed they've now become more proactive about this though, so that's good)

The school was very slow to "sign-off" DS's UCAS form (review & check personal statement, that his choices were appropriate , etc) which culminated in my having to phone the teacher responsible on the last day of the deadline to chase it up - this after having sent several chaser emails in the preceding days/weeks. It was submitted it on the very last day of the deadline, although DS had done his personal statement & made his choices weeks before.

Going through the same process now to get DS to submit his offer acceptance & the deadline is next week! He made his decisions ages ago, but hasn't done it yet, and the school does not seem to be putting any pressure on him. Again, I am the one who is having to do all the chasing.

Now I accept that DS is 18 and an adult and needs to take responsibility himself. However, I also expect the school to have a process for ensuring these important things get done in a timely manner too. And DS has some special needs which mean he is not good at organising and managing himself like this - so I would expect some extra support from the school. Especially as we're paying a lot of money.

But maybe I have unrealistic expectations about this, and am prepared to be told I am?

OP posts:
Original poster
GrumpyOldBag · 28/04/2017 19:03

DS knows the deadline is next week, he reminded ME yesterday. But he hasn't done it yet.

passmethecrisps your school's approach sounds excellent. i would have been happy with about 25% of that level of guidance from ds's school.

mousymary you are on my wavelength. Except the last paragraph Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
GrumpyOldBag · 28/04/2017 19:04

Thank Kitty - but you miss out the lectures and special stuff they lay on.

DH and I went to a really interesting lecture at the Oxford Open Day - sadly DS was less enthused by it!

OP posts:
hellsbells99 · 28/04/2017 19:06

Op, if your DS knows when the deadline is and he has told you, then I don't think you can blame school for not pressurising him into accepting/declining places.

Original poster
GrumpyOldBag · 28/04/2017 19:07

Hellsbells99 Student finance? What fresh hell is this? I had assumed we wouldn't need to deal with that until after A-Level results came out and know where he's heading.

Do we need to be doing that now?

I will get onto google this weekend.

DS does not have a statement so I'm sure he won't get DSA.

OP posts:
Original poster
GrumpyOldBag · 28/04/2017 19:08

Yeah, I get that now re the accepting/declining. I've just told him to do it TONIGHT.

OP posts:
Laniakea · 28/04/2017 19:08

It isn't tiger-parenting to be aware of this stuff.

Kid wants to go to university - application to be done by Christmas of y13* - they need to do open days in y12 - 6th form is full on therefore need to have some clue as to where they want to go/what they to do by y12 = start thinking about it in y11 & look at a couple of websites.

Nothing is set in stone, but they need to start thinking about it at some point.

(*yes that isn't the closing date but a realistic date to work towards)

AtiaoftheJulii · 28/04/2017 19:11

I'm not sure you can try to partly blame his lack of engagement on being a boy, when you're female ....

I knew I didn't know much (anything) about the modern UCAS process, so I started reading Mumsnet A level threads when my eldest was doing her GCSEs. It was very useful.

And yes, your son needs to apply to student finance. Soon, preferably.

AtiaoftheJulii · 28/04/2017 19:16

Honestly, just think about it - is it really feasible to process everyone's student finance applications in what, four weeks in some cases, between the A level results coming out and university terms beginning?

KittyVonCatsington · 28/04/2017 19:16

Student Finance deadline is 26th May, OP.

Link is here: www.gov.uk/student-finance

UCAS reminder email was sent a couple of days ago so a little more info on there.

bojorojo · 28/04/2017 19:21

Grumpy!!! Are you for real? Have you read nothing about this process? Of course you can pay up front if you wish. Just pay the bill - it's easy. Open days have info on finance so did you attend any of these or were the lectures for potential students detaining you?

ErrolTheDragon · 28/04/2017 19:21

DD's school (a GS) has been good, but most of the communication is with the students not the parents, and dealing with UCAS is very much the student's reponsibility, from various MN threads some parents are having to nag a bit but I don't think anyone has thought the school should be on the case.

Registering for student loans is the one bit which does require parental input as well as the student - DH did DD's with her, I think he just needed info from our last year's tax return so you may want to dig that out. The other thing is applying for accommodation choices - different unis open this at different times, some just if they're firm choice, others also allow it if its the insurance.

Flowers join in some of the support threads - in secondary and/or higher education topics.

HotelEuphoria · 28/04/2017 19:28

Well we had no issues at all and had parents evenings and help throughout the whole process with regular scheduled sessions for the students. DS got five offers and went to his preferred uni, DD got three for a massively competitive course and is at her first choice a top RG.

Co-ed Comp kids here LOL, YANBU especially if you are paying for the privilege of support.

titchy · 28/04/2017 19:38

And surely the point is that if I, a well-educated, confident and assertive person, can't get it right, then there must be other parents too who aren't on top of this stuff

Most do get it right though, and most parents of applicants have never been to university at all, so yeah you have to take some blame for not being on the ball, particularly as you know your ds has difficulty organising himself.

Your ds will have had numerous emails about the acceptance deadline, student finance deadline and emails from the universities he's applied to about accommodation etc.

You really can't expect his school to be chasing him when UCAS and the universities will be doing exactly that.

Passmethecrisps · 28/04/2017 19:41

With regard to finance think of it this way, it is easier for the providers to process applications now and amend them slightly when results come in than it is to process completely new applications in August.

You will need both your and your partner's (if relevant) earnings and other financial info at hand.

In Scotland we started that process at the start of April.

ChocolateWombat · 28/04/2017 19:49

Are you sure that some info about timescales wasn't given to your son....and he was expected to relay the info?
So in schools I have had contact with, the kids are told about applying to uni in general studies or PSE or the equivalent. They are told about when they should visit, when they should work on personal statements and choose courses etc. They are told who can give help....but then they have to get on with it and be a bit proactive. Most do involve their parents. Often kids do need chasing about personal statements and are not good about getting on with it, but it isn't the school who are failing to do their bit.
I'm surprised you could get to October of the U6th without having given any thought at all to uni applications as a parent. Wouldn't it be obvious that they would need to be happening. A quick glance at any websites or probably the schools might have revealed the timescales pretty quickly. Did you not have any conversations with our parents after AS results about future plans or ideas, which indicated to you that people were thinking about it?
Did the school really say not a word about the whole process? That sounds surprising that they was never a letter or an email or a meeting about UCAS at all? If there was not a single word (directly or throug I do given to child) then I think you are right to think they should have been making some contact with you, and you should probably tell them. Perhaps spell out exactly what you would have found helpful.....perhaps it will turn out some of the info was available?

bojorojo · 28/04/2017 19:51

Those of you that think paying for education should get your child pampered all the way are sadly very short of the mark. One reason many private school children do well is because they are independent and confident. They think for themselves. That is what you pay for. Not constant nagging.

maryso · 28/04/2017 20:05

I however feel that no school can take the credit for my DC's confidence and independence. I claim that all but entirely, as should all the mothers who have brought up their DC.

Good schools foster confidence. Whether you pay or the state pays is often down to luck.

All that said, people are a lottery. Even the apparently best/worst parenting and schooling come with no guarantees. I suspect there is a lot of nagging in both places, and the effectiveness depends on many factors.

Original poster
GrumpyOldBag · 28/04/2017 20:09

Did the school really say not a word about the whole process? That sounds surprising that they was never a letter or an email or a meeting about UCAS at all?

We had a session about it at the start of Upper 6th. Mostly abut applying to overseas Universities & the benefits of a gap year. Very little about the nuts & bolts of the process.

OP posts:
Original poster
GrumpyOldBag · 28/04/2017 20:11

I have just asked DS whether he's had any emails about the student finance.

"Yeah the deadline's really soon".

"Why haven't you said anything to us about it?"

"I've been focused on exams."

DH: "why hasn't the school said anything to us about it?"

OP posts:
Original poster
GrumpyOldBag · 28/04/2017 20:14

bojorojo we did not go to the sessions on finance. Not enough time to fit everything else in DS wanted to go to.

Obviously we made a mistake.I hope that this thread will at least inspire others to be more proactive than I have been.

As i said before, i am well educated, confident and assertive. Also very, very busy running my own company. I can't believe I'm the only one like this.

OP posts:
Original poster
GrumpyOldBag · 28/04/2017 20:17

I just said to DS " You need to apply for your accommodation too."

He said, "Mum you're giving me too much to think about" and put his head in his hands.

Not all kids are super-organised.

OP posts:
AtiaoftheJulii · 28/04/2017 20:19

But you must be used to thinking and planning ahead with regards to your business! Sounds like with your son you've just assumed that paying for his education means you can delegate all of it.

AtiaoftheJulii · 28/04/2017 20:20

Do you think your son's ready for university this autumn?

Genuine question.

Crispsheets · 28/04/2017 20:26

Well clearly your son needs more help. You have to prioritize doing this over being busy running your own company .
As you keep saying.

Haffdonga · 28/04/2017 20:29

Just shows that paying school fees doesn't necessarily buy you anything that you wouldn't get for free in a state school .

Ds's bog standard comp has talked to all students and parents endlessly through the process. All dcs in the year have been taken on open days (free school transport), all have had compulsory meetings with careers staff to discuss their choices, deadline for UCAS statements was October and statements were reviewed intensively by school with many revisions. All submitted before Christmas. On top we've had uni finance talks, revision talks, subject specific talks, etc etc. Info emailed to all parents whether or not they attend.

What exactly are you paying for in your ds's expensive posh school?