Yr7 new starters

[simpson]

Hi...

Just wondering if other parents/kids are worrying about starting secondary school. We have had tears (from DS) tonight and we still have another week to go!!

I am sure he will be fine but I am worrying (as is he).

Oh oklumber I completely understand where you are coming from and how you feel. I can't sleep tonight because I feel anxious and worried that ds is not going to fit in and make friends. Ds is so innocent in some respects and I guess seems less cool and immature then his peers because he's not interested in football or looking at sex/porn because he knows he is too young to look at it. He is into his own things but seems to struggle to find those who are similar.

She'd probably get on with my DD, OK. Mine has lots of friends to talk to, but no one like her so far. She's bright and loves anime, reading and drama. I've gone down the route of telling her it doesn't matter and that it is still early days.

DD was doing OK, but discovered her bag, her pride and joy that she bought with her pocket money (because I wouldn't buy it), was burnt by some little shit yesterday

She was so upset. And I probably can't even replace it for her as it's a style that is hard to get hold of.

I've repaired it as best I can (the straps have been melted) but of course it's not the same, and she has no idea who could have done it - the only time it's not secure or with her is during PE, so it has to be another girl in her class really.

Oh Eve, that's rubbish. Have you reported to school? Aside from the damage to her bag, which is bad enough, if some wonderful little child is making fire on school premises that's serious.

Blimey Eve that's awful. Definitely mention it to the school. Burning things that are not on Bunson burners is really serious.

Yeah, I emailed her tutor last night to report it. Haven't had anything back as yet. Will see what DD says when I get home tonight. It's pretty shit.

Sorry some DC are still having a tough time :(

DD is up and down. She has made a small group of good friends but is having issues with severe anxiety (not about school but maybe still being insecure is fueling the fire). Her best friend has been having some issues with bullying which got a bit physical yesterday and DD has been called in as a witness. The school are really clamping down hard on it which is great and DD has been spending time with her friend at a lunchtime group they have for kids to hang out and discuss their worries and problems. The anxiety is really concerning me as she is so afraid all the time and said she is struggling to concentrate in class.

Yesterday one of the boys told her he had a crush on her so she came to me to ask what she should say as she doesn't fancy him but doesn't want to hurt his feelings. He is a bit of an unusual character and she likes him as a person but he is being teased by pretty much the whole class and she wants to talk to him but doesn't want everyone to turn against her if she becomes friends with him. I told her whatever she chooses to do she must not join in the making fun of him which she said she will never do. Urgh, I remember all this stuff from when I was a teen. So much crap to contend with in the next few years!

How awful about your DD's bag Eve - how on earth did that happen?!

Very impressed with your DD's organisational skills lumberjack - could she come and teach my DD? I'm still having to supervise all that and watch over her homework as she is so bloody slapdash about it. I know I need to let her get on with it and on her head be it but it's so early on and I want her to make a good impression!

Dickorydock that's shocking about the porn! I bet those kids have older siblings - lots of problems arise from that. Have you informed the school?

Things still up & down like a yo yo here...

The main problem is tiredness. It is now 5.25 and he still isn't back as he is playing a school football match (at what time do I start to worry is a whole other issue!).

Last week he got back around this time and had been given homework to do that day for the next day (which they don't mark - whole other issue).

However, he has made a solid group of friends. He still comes up to me for lots of reassurance (aka hugs!) & I am telling him how proud I am of him every day.

Fingers X the bag gets sorted and some one owns up.

Dickory - your DS sounds so like mine (except my DS loves sport). He is v young for his age, sensitive etc...

Well the tutor didn't say anything to DD or in class and hasn't replied to my email, so I'm not sure what is going on.

DD says she spoke to a few of the girls and no-one knew anything. She says they looked shocked but she isn't sure if she trusts them. She says that one of them made a comment that made her think she was 'jealous' of the bag, but she doesn't think it was her.

I doubt we'll ever find out will we? Bloody thing is out of stock everywhere again, it was pure luck that we got it when we did - DD reckons there is only one other person in the whole school that has one (how true that is I don't know, but it did take us 7 weeks to get it in the first place!). I'll replace it if I can, but will try to stop DD stewing over it more importantly.

Don't let it drop...

Someone set fire to something on school premises that is awful & your poor DD

Forgot to mention the drama last week when DS got knocked on the head by a heavy door and the school rang me to go & collect him. Ended up taking him to a & e as he didn't seem right but the hospital said he was OK thankfully.

Dallas I'd assume the teacher hadn't yet seen the email or had missed it. Might be worth phoning in tomorrow to follow up as it would probably be best dealt with quickly.
Glad your son's head is ok Simpson. Hope your dd feels more settled soon titsy.

Ds is saying he feels sick tonight he's had quite a few days off already with sickness at home and then being sent home from school saying he was sick. I really don't know what to do.
Titsy no haven't mentioned about the porn to the teacher at this point.
Ex that's awful about your dd.

No, I won't let it drop, thankfully DD is ok with my repair job though so I'm not going to make too big a thing about it on the 'bullying' side but will push the school on the 'naked flame/danger' side.

Different type of drama here tonight - the police arrested two clowns in our sleepy village . Looks like they were trying to break in/vandalise the village hall but decided to do it dressed as clowns... I think I prefer the bottle-flipping fad tbf

Gosh on the clown thing

DS said it was mentioned in school assembly today is not to do it etc...

He got in at 5.45 & luckily no more homework

Dickory - hope your DS is ok tomorrow

Sorry to hear about your daughters bag Eve. They absolutely need to act on it. If someone set fire to it they are very lucky it didn't escalate.
We have the whole clown thing here too. It doesn't seem to have affected ds' school but our local one has been in the paper for the last few days. I find it very bizarre.

Ds is really struggling still. Socially I think things have settled down. Academically though he is finding it tough. He is at a grammar. He turned 11 in August and is quite emotionally immature. He didn't do very well in a test the other day and all the others did better than him. It was in a subject he was quite strong at but the test was in his weakest area. It has blown his confidence.
They are piling on homework. We went to the theatre last night. Ds had done a fantastic job of organising his homework so he didn't have any to do but one of his teachers set some yesterday to be in today. He didn't manage to finish it so I have sent a note in with him.
He is so utterly exhausted. He has a sport which he does at a high level. He trains approx 10 hrs per week and it is all starting to get to him. Roll on half term when he can have a rest!

Yes, the homework is huge (my dd not at grammar but comp). I've been astounded by the things the teachers have asked for so early on. My dd is fine with the level but even she is beginning to struggle with time.

Agree with the homework thing.

Bearded My DS is also August born and really struggling with tiredness. The sheer amount of stuff they need to carry around all day (no lockers) is shocking. I dread food tech days.

He had food tech today & we got the stuff ready and popped it in the fridge for the morning. Of course he forgot & I twigged just after he left and ran up the road still in PJs screaming like a banshee

My DD is generally doing ok but I feel the same re new friendships. She has made friends but she doesn't feel that they are "real" friends and was in tears tonight because she is worried that she'll never make friends like she had in primary school. I feel so sorry for her. She's lovely, funny, clever and is generally good at fitting in but is finding trying to establish herself with like minded folk really hard. This is normal isn't it?

Hemel yes it is normal. Year 7 is really tough for friendships, making new ones, changing old ones, fitting in, or not.
That on top of the big change to secondary school, it's hard.

My boy has found a new friend in his form, they are bonding over a mutual terror of being hit by the rugby ball in PE.

Homework is up and down here, some bits are no problem, he's racing through maths and science, but planning creative writing arrghhh. He's currently spending all morning avoiding some language homework as he has to record a conversation on an app, and he hates anything requiring any sort of performance. We're now at 2 hours and counting, if he just got on with it would be a five minute job tops.

Hemel, I'm hoping its normal as my dd feels the same. She has made a few friends (hardly none in her tutor group though) but feels she hasn't found anyone who gets her even remotely. She's also worried she won't 'fit'. She's bright, witty and quite mature in her likes. She's said she's not had to chance to 'be herself' yet.

We're close and she tells me everything she thinks and feels. I think I'm absorbing it all too much as I feel like a sponge full of anxiety at the moment!

I thought of emailing her form tutor but have no idea a)what I'm asking for and b) what on earth to say. I'm sure they have enough to do!

DD has had a much better week, no homework tantrums, no complaints about boring lessons, buzzing about learning more stuff in French and the 'brilliant' science lesson when they burnt loads of stuff

Last Sat I let her go to town with a new group of friends. First time ever and I was a nervous wreck! She was also quite nervous because she only really 'knew' one of them from netball.

She came back very happy and I think that was a bit of a turning point; that she didn't have to rely on old friends to be happy. I really didn't want her to go, but I'm glad I did.

Fingers crossed that this week is the same.

oklumberjack - the form tutors do have lots to do, yes - but it wouldn't hurt to send an email something along the lines of "minilumberjack seems to have a few worries about making friends, please could you keep an eye on her".

As an ex-year-7-form-tutor I would say that it's not uncommon for them to appear completely and totally fine at school, and be bottling up all the niggles and anxiety to unload on parents (often mum) when they get home.

DD has spent today with her friend from primary who is still in year 6, and is in a great mood. I think its reminded her there is a life outside of school.

DS also spent the day with his best friend from primary (at a different school) & loved it.

He does love his secondary school however there are a few "naughty" kids there (from his primary ) & he doesn't like the fact that they keep speaking to him.

So we have had several chats about how to deal with it...

Can I be a latecomer? Dd hates her secondary, finds it overwhelming and boring at the same time.

She has plenty in friends and is not crying (anymore).

Dreads going in but gets herself organised and there on-time etc.

I know this is a massive change for her but how can I help her be more positive? She's such a home-bird and isn't very motivated about anything - no hobbies or clubs outside school.

She's an (early) summer baby and is a worrier, feels school is too big (came from a smallish primary).

She's very happy at home but just does not like it at school

I given her lots of support and we've talked it over. Said I completely understand where she's coming from and it's totally normal to be overwhelmed etc. I've said that lots of her friends will be feeling exactly the same as her and that it's only early days.

I'm a bit stuck, really. I'm just wondering if home-ed would be the answer but I don't want her to miss out on the social side, nor the quality of the school (it's OFSTED outstanding and a really desirable secondary).

Guess we just need to ride the storm?