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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

Original poster

Yr7 new starters

363 replies

simpson · 01/09/2016 00:11

Hi...

Just wondering if other parents/kids are worrying about starting secondary school. We have had tears (from DS) tonight and we still have another week to go!!

I am sure he will be fine but I am worrying (as is he).

OP posts:
steppemum · 05/09/2016 22:42

Oh, just found this.
dd1 starts tomorrow. No primary friends with her, and a train journey to get to school.
Her (girls) school is next door to her brothers school (boys) so they are going to be travelling together on the train.
Dh will cycle her to the station for the first few days though.

She is excited. year 7s only tomorrow, I am worried for her for friendships as she has always just had one or two close friends.

less nervous than I was when ds started though.

AChickenCalledKorma · 06/09/2016 08:19

Hour your daughter has a lovely day steppemum!

steppemum · 06/09/2016 11:54

Right, so off she went. Year 7s only, so dh cycled her to the station, went with her to ticket barrier, and guess what? No train ticket. She had put her new train ID card and ticket (and her purse) in the pocket of the wrong coat last night, and so, despite my careful checking with her that she had EVERYTHING, and all my plans, here is spare lunch money in case, here is £10 emergency money in case you loose your train pass, etc etc etc. She had no ticket, (and no money)
After a panicked phone call (from dh) I realised what she had done, he bought her a new ticket just for today and took her through and got her bike locked up etc. They were still early. 3 other new girls on the platform waiting for the train, (tiny local train, only 2 arriages) so they had a chance to meet and get to know each other. One of the mums was going on the train with them I think (dd has done the journey a couple of times, and because ds does it, she is very blase, wouldn't be seen dead with us accompanying her!)

All fine. Then when dh gets home, I say - so you gave her money then? No? Why? BECAUSE HER PURSE WAS WITH HER TRAIN TICKET!!! (apparently he didn't hear me say this, didn't occur to dd to tell him, and didn't occur to him as he was panicking over ticket)

Oh. So I have had to text her and tell her to go to student services so she can get something for lunch.

(she's fine, texted ds from the train, but hasn't texted me!)

Iamdobby63 · 06/09/2016 12:15

How stressful for you steppemum - lesson learned, hope she has a good day.

steppemum · 06/09/2016 12:25

actually, I think it was more stressful for dh!

FiveMoreMinutesPlease · 06/09/2016 18:06

AChicken you daughter did the right thing - well done her.
*
Steppemun* that sounds a very stressful start to the day. Hope the rest of the day was a lot calmer.

Titsywoo · 06/09/2016 18:29

Hope everyone is getting on ok. DD starts in the morning. I'm feeling a bit nervous Confused. Hopefully will feel better when tomorrow is over and done with. I think her nerves are rubbing off on me. The fact that she is the only one in her class going there is the main thing although she met some nice girls on her induction day - who can tell whether they will still be friends when they properly start though!

Redsrule · 06/09/2016 19:14

From a teacher's perspective I taught my first Y7 class in 6 years (as SMT I usually only teach exam classes). Well, I had forgotten how lovely and enthusiastic they are. If the class I taught is representative of current 11year olds you are all to be congratulated. They were keen to participate and all made the effort to include other, quieter, children even if they didn't know their name ( this was a set subject so they were from 8 different tutors). At the end of the lesson they all left the room thanking me for a lovely lesson!!! The most you get from Y11 is a grunted "that went quickly". Good times!

PettsWoodParadise · 06/09/2016 19:52

DD had her first day today in Y7. Only Y7 and 12 in the school so it wasn't quite so crowded as it will be tomorrow. She walked part way there herself and came back on the bus. She gave the day nearly full marks, only taking off half a mark for the lunch which was good but not as good as her dad's cooking. She said she nearly died of happiness that so many others in her class were disappointed at no homework on the first day Hmm - she feels she finally has soulmates who love learning as much as she does. I hope the rest of the term goes as well.

Dickorydockwhatthe · 06/09/2016 21:14

I'm feeling sick with nerves has Ds has been off all this week with sickness not sure if it's anxiety linked or a bug. He goes back tomorrow after only attending one day on Friday I feel sick for him and I can sense his nerves and he must sense mine!!! Of all the weeks he had to be ill!! I'm really hoping it was just not a big as I used to be sick with stress when I was a kid.

Redsrule · 06/09/2016 21:43

Don't worry, it is not unusual, all staff are aware how difficult it is and will help plus friendships are still shuffling around!

steppemum · 06/09/2016 21:48

well, the rest of her day went well. She found someone to talk to, although she did say that a lot of the girls were 'girly and talked about shopping'
Dd is not into anything girly at all.
I am hoping she finds others like her. Shouldn't be too hard should it?

Oh dickory what bad timing! Hope he is OK tomorrow

Dickorydockwhatthe · 06/09/2016 22:20

Me too!!! Thankyou I could cry for him expecially as he is only one of 5 from his primary and most have split. I need to keep cheery and positive in the morning. Glad everyone is doing ok I guess they just have to where they fit I guess. Does anyone else have mixed age tutor groups I think they call it vertical?? I remember forming friends in my form class so find it weird if they split them for tutor group, and classes. How do they make their friends iykwim

AChickenCalledKorma · 06/09/2016 22:26

steppemum - glad she had a good day. DD1 (now year 10) also despairs of girls who talk about nothing but shopping, so she's not alone! Hope she manages to seek out the other girls who are fed up of fashion talk. They are bound to be out there!

yazz1 · 06/09/2016 23:27

my sons 2nd day in high school . tried.to make friends by going up to them and introducing self and asking their name. totally ignored him and walked off to group of boys from primary instead. He's totally upset and in tears and does not want to go to school. he wants to be with his old friends . Plus his school insist he wears his jumper and blazer at all times even in hot weather. he has a migraine yesterday because he had 4 layers of clothing on.

NanaNina · 06/09/2016 23:49

Ah this took me back. My DGD started Yr 7 knowing absolutely no-one - all the primary school yr 6 went to a different school. It's an all girls school and some of them had been together since they were 3(!) nursery/reception and junior, so the friendship groups were well established. She made friends with another new girl, but she was only there for one term! She didn't say anything at the time but now (she's just gone into Yr 12) she talks of having a tough time making friends, but it all turned out ok in the end. She's not one to push herself but her confidence has grown so much since Yr 7 (as you might expect!)

I hope all your sons and daughters do well but remember to give them time to settle - especially with the girls in terms of the friendship groups. My DIL is a deputy head in a primary school but always taught year 6 and she said there was always falling in and out with the girls and making up the next day etc etc. Less of a problem with boys I think.

I can't remember my sons transferring to secondary as it was almost 40 years ago!!

ChunkyHare · 07/09/2016 07:08

steppemum get her to put her train ticket etc in her bag coats will change but her school bag will always be with her.

Ds1 is about to go into year 9 so we have had a few years at this. I think you need to talk to your Dd about what she would have done if your Dh wasn't with her and she realised she had no train ticket. Hence why I suggested the bag.

Titsywoo · 07/09/2016 10:31

DH walked DD to the gate for her first day. He said she immediately waved at a group of girls she had met at induction and ran off so good start - let's hope it continues. It feels like a big day and DH is just on his way to hand in his notice as he has a offer at a much better company. I feel like I need a change in my life as well - might start looking for a new job too! So much change, no wonder I had a classic anxiety dream last night Grin

Dickorydockwhatthe · 07/09/2016 11:09

Oh Yazz poor thing I hope your son has a better time today. My ds hates football so slightly worried about that and fitting in. I feel sick this morning keep looking at my watch

littledrummergirl · 07/09/2016 12:28

Just found this. Dd started Friday and is thoroughly enjoying herself. She is one of the fastest runners in her class and top set for maths (the only subject set so far) and is becoming more confident by the day.
She's joined some clubs already and is generally throwing herself into school life.

Yazz-it can be difficult making new friends. My advice to my dc has been to join clubs that match their interests and they will meet like minded people. Both my ds are older and they now have very strong friendship groups after Rocky starts.
The library is also a good place to go as quite often that's where quieter, shy children head to.

Hope he has a better day today.

colouringinagain · 07/09/2016 15:07

Emotional roller coaster here. My dd started yr 7 yesterday. She's overwhelmed by the volume of people compared to her little primary, and she's been in tears on goodbye both mornings. She is more sensitive and anxious than average so wondering whether to speak to school tomorrow. She's been fine over the hols so thought she'd got her head round it.... I got excited when I picked her up yesterday as she was smiling - turns out that was only because she was so happy to be out! Finding this sooooo hard.

Geraniumred · 07/09/2016 16:19

It's hard. Mine's been up and down like a yoyo. Have a word tomorrow and see what they say, colouring. Dds school runs nurture groups and all sorts to help children settle in.

colouringinagain · 07/09/2016 17:06

Thanks v much Geranium. It is isn't it? She said she cried in form time today and her tutor took her out and asked if she was ok etc and was nice to her. Another girl in her form cried and apparently she saw someone else in the school crying which ironically has actually made her feel better - I've been telling her others are nervous too - and now she believes me. I think I will drop her form tutor an email though...

Geraniumred · 07/09/2016 17:15

Yes, there's been a few weepy ones at dd's but the staff seem very good. And the majority of the year 7s are all looking after each other. Dd tells me that the year 11s up are very friendly too. Will be so glad when this week has finished though!

Original poster
simpson · 07/09/2016 17:18

DS started today.

Went in all smiles...

Came home & initially said it was fine then broke down & sobbed. Said lunch was awful and he was on his own Sad He found head of yr7 who took him off with her for a chat and then helped him to find kids from primary school.

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