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Secondary education

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Original poster

Son won't be attending GCSE results day....i'm distraught!!

147 replies

mirrenso · 06/05/2016 01:30

Hi, my son, who's expected to do ok in his GCSE's but be rather borderline in terms of school requirements for 6th year entry.....has just announced that he intends going on summer camp to Europe run by a church group to help underprivileged children....hence missing results day 25th August!!
I'm utterly devastated....I have been looking forward to this day for years.....he is the apple of my eye......and this day would be one of the most proud in my life.
However....if he were to be borderline....that very morning is crucial in terms of negotiation with 6th year heads....and competition for places is extremely fierce.....we both need to be there!!!
Son says, text me the results....which I think is ridiculous.....he is already getting a week camp away with Scouts at the start of August...and the school will take a dim view of him not being there!!! His father says I'm being silly and the camp will "look good on his CV".....but if he doesn't get into 6th year he won't need much of a CV!!!
I am at my wits end....advice please.....complete split in house, fights, arguments.....disaster....please help!!

OP posts:
Helmetbymidnight · 06/05/2016 06:33

He sounds like a lovely boy. I'd be very proud of him.

MyLocal · 06/05/2016 06:53

Honestly OP, a few years down the line you will realise collecting GCSE results was all a bit meh. Really, truly, it is. It's followed by them getting first part time job, maybe ALevels, maybe getting first choice of uni, graduation, first full time job. All bigger occasions IMO than what is essentially just making sure you have at least. C in English and maths.

Coconutty · 06/05/2016 06:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

elizadolittlechoc · 06/05/2016 06:57

How about supporting him NOW, with his exams imminent. You should be providing a calm and supportive environment, not worrying him with an event in three months time.

NicknameUsed · 06/05/2016 06:58

"and then usually make their way to the pub for the rest of the day"

At 16? They wouldn't be able to buy alcohol.

"All of the 6th forms round here say you must be there in person to hand in your enrollment forms and show results slip."

You have to register for 6th form at DD's school on results day, although if you know you're going to be away I'm sure that contingency plans can be made. School won't hand parents results unless they have written permission from the student though.

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeG0es · 06/05/2016 07:01

I don't even remember getting my O level results (yes it was a long time ago). It certainly doesn't stand out as one of the turning points of my life. If my mum had made this much fuss I'd have legged it abroad too.

LittleHouseOnTheShelf · 06/05/2016 07:02

I do think you are being a tad unreasonable because it's not as if he is missing it for a week in Ibiza getting drunk and having sex but in doing something sociably responsible which will be a big thing for his personal statement when he comes to apply for university. That said, I know it's a rite of passage that they all go through and it is a big day for parents as well as the student so to be missing it can seem like it's sad but there will be other days and he'll presumably need to stay around for A level day.

As for the 6th form place, as others have said, he's either got the grades or he hasn't. You can collect the results for him and pass them on but if he's going to the school 6th form then they will already have them - DS is in 6th form and the school head and 6th form head both had his results the day before and so confirmed his 6th form place as soon as he went to see them.

Moreisnnogedag · 06/05/2016 07:04

At 16? They wouldn't be able to buy alcohol.

Nick I think that's really lovely and that you live in a nicer area than i did at 16! Grin

Abraid2 · 06/05/2016 07:06

We weren't there for results day when my son did GCSE OR AS level. Didn't bother anyone.

PirateFairy45 · 06/05/2016 07:07

You sound very self involved. Your son is going to help others! Isn't that more important than to spend one hour finding out what his results are?

If you're that bothered, collect the results then only open them when he gets back.

P1nkP0ppy · 06/05/2016 07:07

Crikey 😳
Poor lad if this is the reaction he gets from you..........

Mermaid36 · 06/05/2016 07:07

I was in the Czech Republic on GCSE results day on a 2 week holiday with Scouts...I had to squelch out of a river (that we were rafting down) to a phone box to get my results from my friend...this was before mobiles/4G etc, so it was landline or nothing.

I did go and get absolutely blind drunk that night in Prague to celebrate

We just informed my school beforehand that someone else would be collecting my results for me, no drama etc.
Honestly, it's not that big a day in the scheme of things

Makesomethingupyouprick · 06/05/2016 07:07

I didn't even go to collect my GCSE results. I couldn't be arsed. I knew I'd get into sixth form at the same school so I just picked them up on the first day of sixth form.

Give it 3/4 years and whatever he got for his GCSEs won't matter and will be rarely thought about. I can't remember now what grades I got for half of my GCSEs.

sharonthewaspandthewineywall · 06/05/2016 07:08

I've never heard of attending your kids getting their GCSE results 'day'
Wtaf is this world coming to. Are limos laid on?

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 06/05/2016 07:12

Dramatics aside, I think he's foolish. It's vital here to get the results in person so IF they're not quite what is expected you spend the next day signing up for different courses. I know one person whose son went away and then couldn't get on the course he wanted as it was full.

My sister in law never goes away at that time so her kids get their results in person and we won't be either.

SoupDragon · 06/05/2016 07:14

^I've never heard of attending your kids getting their GCSE results 'day'
Wtaf is this world coming to. Are limos laid on?^

Don't be ridiculous. Your child goes to school,' picks up the envelope, opens it and then poses for a photo of all the kids waking paper and looking happy for the school newsletter/website. If they've stuffed up, there are teachers on hand to sort out what they do next.

As a parent I sat in the car til he told me his results by text, he came back to the car for a hug and then he buggered off to celebrate with his friends.

Very few wait till they are posted out nowadays, unlike when I did them.

SoupDragon · 06/05/2016 07:17

I do wonder why this is the subject that made the OP write their first post on MN though.

ninja · 06/05/2016 07:18

Most results come by email now, lots of kids don't attend. Sixth Forms Colleges normally enrol over a number of days. I'm sure he camps go and explain and check what he needs to do.

I hope he has a lovely summer!

AugustaFinkNottle · 06/05/2016 07:21

It never once occurred to me that GCSE results day was something to be massively looked forward to for any of my children, let alone something to be anticipated for years - and they were all expected to get (and did get) reasonable to good results. I'm really quite horrified that you're creating this megadrama and making the results into such a big deal at a time when your child needs a calm, relaxed atmosphere at home. If you're that bothered about sixth form, the best way to sort out the problem is helping him to work for GCSEs now.

Patterkiller · 06/05/2016 07:22

I think you really need to back down and apoligise for all the dramatics.

Please don't play the guilt card.

He is going to remember this time for all the wrong reasons with you in the center of it.

And please please get your head around the fact that this is his life. He's not playing it out so you can tick the boxes of accomplishment.

ProfessorPickles · 06/05/2016 07:29

I think it's an excellent opportunity and shows what a mature young man your son is becoming. I would be extremely proud of my son if he did this when he is older.

Catgirl83 · 06/05/2016 07:31

Wow. How dare he selfishly swan off to help underprivileged children when he should be there to do what you want Shock. Your husband is right - it will look fantastic on his CV (I'm saying this as a teacher by the way). GCSE results day is, as pp have said, a case of turn up, collect the envelope, leave. I think you might be thinking of a level results days in terms of ceremony and momentousness. Also, in ten years of teaching, I have never seen a parent arrive with their child to collect their GCSE results.

ReallyTired · 06/05/2016 07:32

Life is more than a set of GCSE results. I think that your son is doing something truely amazing. I hope he does well in his GCSEs, but there is still a whole world out there if he gets disappointing results. You realise that colleges offer vocational courses that can lead to apprenticeships for those who are less academic.

homebythesea · 06/05/2016 07:32

My DS school actively discouraged attendance at school for GCSE results, they are published online and any problems discussed on the phone. You are being ridiculous and adding to an already stressful time by creating a non problem.

NicknameUsed · 06/05/2016 07:34

"Most results come by email now"

DD's school won't do that.