Son won't be attending GCSE results day....i'm distraught!!

[mirrenso]

Hi, my son, who's expected to do ok in his GCSE's but be rather borderline in terms of school requirements for 6th year entry.....has just announced that he intends going on summer camp to Europe run by a church group to help underprivileged children....hence missing results day 25th August!!
I'm utterly devastated....I have been looking forward to this day for years.....he is the apple of my eye......and this day would be one of the most proud in my life.
However....if he were to be borderline....that very morning is crucial in terms of negotiation with 6th year heads....and competition for places is extremely fierce.....we both need to be there!!!
Son says, text me the results....which I think is ridiculous.....he is already getting a week camp away with Scouts at the start of August...and the school will take a dim view of him not being there!!! His father says I'm being silly and the camp will "look good on his CV".....but if he doesn't get into 6th year he won't need much of a CV!!!
I am at my wits end....advice please.....complete split in house, fights, arguments.....disaster....please help!!

[Napnah]

Your son sounds amazing. I'd be bursting with pride. You are being silly.

[mirrenso]

Oh a I forgot to add f gets 14, and negotiations begin, I know his excellent performance on rugby field may swing it.
It perhaps good idea to be there?

[cestlavielife]

here the kids have to go for an interview regarding sixth form the week after gcse results - presumably any who are away can tell them and arrange for later. it isnt a big deal.

let him go and do this thing then when he back there is till plenty of time to go talk about which course/option he can go onto

[cestlavielife]

he doesnt need to be there on the day. so long as he is back few days before sixth form/college starts to be able to discuss in person .

[mirrenso]

And to answer a few good questions there, he loves the place so much he would be there 7 days a week if they found a bed for him and yes he really, really wants 6th form there as they are a highly rated academic school, hard core rugby school and that involves a nice little sweetener 3 week trip to Australia in upper 6th for rugby tour and he intends to do Maths/History/PE as A levels and become a Primary School teacher.
IMO he's made for the role.
He has focus, drive, determination and I am proud of him.
Perhaps just some flexibility on"footie trip?"

[firesidechat]

The op said this:

Immediate 6th year head meeting....told "I've a queue of (from other schools) 25-30 pointers outside waiting for places, I'm sorry."

Which makes it sound like being there was less important than the other potential students with the right number of points. It doesn't sound like the op was last in the queue or anything like that. Being there was no help at all to the op.

[Balletgirlmum]

It's very unlikely in two years time that we will be around for dds results day & it's a boarding school anyway.

It's also unlikely she will stay onto their 6th form. I have no idea yet what the procedure is at local 6th forms (she'll apply to a mix of private & state) but we will just deal with stuff when we are around.

[Lalsy]

The only thing relevant here is what the system is in the OP's area now. Not what we or our children did in a different time and/or place is completely irrelevant.

In my area, people do enrol on the day, there is room for negotiation, and it can be quite busy with shifting offers etc. So I can understand why you are worried, OP. I would talk to the school, explain the situation and if they say he needs to be there, then it is them not you, which might help defuse the situation at home. I know it is hard and you've got upset but I would try to focus calmly on what needs to be done and when, and ignore everything else. Best of luck to your son, who sounds great!

[Butteredparsnips]

We have a similar system. DD got good results, but decided to change her choice for one of her ALevels. We queued for three hours. Because of over subscription the schooled insist on turning up in person. The alternative is to accept a place at, and travel further to, a school or College with poor results.

[TeenAndTween]

15 points is 5Bs and 5Cs.
tbh I think that is a bit borderline for succeeding at A levels.
I can see why a school would be a bit iffy about fewer than that.

[situatedknowledge]

I think you are being perfectly reasonable OP.

We have the same system here, and you have to go straight to the sixth form from collecting your results to negotiate your places on the subjects you want.

Your DS to be brutally frank needs to grow up a bit, and recognise that he needs to be there to ensure the place he wants. If he can't bothered to turn up, the school can hardly be expected to accommodate him, no matter how brilliant a rugby player he is.

[BitOutOfPractice]

"but we will just deal with stuff when we are around."

Good luck with that if it's anything like as competitive as it is round here (Grammar school area with excellent comps too)

[corythatwas]

Here we have an interview just after results day and as there is a slight risk that ds will not meet his required grades I think life will be a lot easier if he can actually be there for that; fully intend to plan the summer around that. Nothing to do with my feelings (I waited outside in the car when dh went in to get dd's results), this is about practicalities and doing our best to help him get the education he wants.

[titchy]

5 Bs and 5Cs does not equal Maths A level pass. Not a chance. Sorry. He's very middle of the road academically, and some sort of BTEC elsewhere is probably more suitable.

There must be colleges in your area?

[NoSquirrels]

OK, so your OP wasn't clear but subsequent post is.

If your DS wants the best chance of getting into the 6th Form at his current school, then he needs to stay home that week.

If he doesn't mind going elsewhere, and fully understands the ongoing consequences of that choice, i.e. that he may not do well enough at A-Levels elsewhere with borderline results and a less supportive environment to realise his dreams later in life, then let him go.

At the end of the day, he needs to start making the choices which will determine how his life shapes up. He is young, and needs guidance, which you should do, but I'm not sure it's appropriate to force him at this age into something. I went elsewhere for 6th Form against one of my DPs wishes, and it was FINE. I was very grateful for the support of my other DP at that time, recognising that I needed to make my own choices.

(Also, as you experienced last year they could still say no even if he's there. Perhaps he's just looking at what happened last year to his Dsis and assuming it is a foregone conclusion anyway that if he gets 14 points he'll be leaving, so he'd rather have a week of football and fun and let fate take its course. You seem quite sure you can persuade the school otherwise, but I have to say on the basis of the evidence it doesn't seem likely.)

[Balletgirlmum]

At ds's selective school the grades needed for a level are 5 B & 3C (most only take 9 GCSE's).

They have the best a level results in the county so I disagree it's borderline. However there would be no leeway below those grades v

[MeMySonAndl]

Apologies if I looked a insensitive. I believe on putting the value on the effort rather than on the results, but when it comes to admissions things are a bit different:

You get lots of parents calling you every day asking you to make exceptions to the rules, explaining sometimes very tragic circumstances on why they couldn't get the grades, etc. Sometimes the excuses are ridiculous, sometimes they are absolutely heartbreaking, but the fact remains that if there are not enough places, you cannot crossover the name of a candidate who meets the requirements (and whose circumstances you know nothing about) to make a place for the one who may have put all the effort but didn't get the grades.

The camp may be a fantastic experience, but given he is doing various camps in the same summer, I really think he should stay put to fight for a place if his grades are not good enough. Unless he doesn't want to go to college.

[StickTheDMWhereTheSunDontShine]

I can understand why he's spending as much of his summer holiday as possible at camp. I'm on edge just reading your posts, OP.

[ReallyTired]

Talk to your son's potential school/ sixth form college. I am sure that there is a way round this problem. The sixth form heads may well be impressed with this young man's initative. He may do well in his GCSEs and your anxiety is just a storm in a teacup.

[BitOutOfPractice]

"At ds's selective school the grades needed for a level are 5 B & 3C (most only take 9 GCSE's).

They have the best a level results in the county so I disagree it's borderline. However there would be no leeway below those grades v"

At the grammar schools here you need basically 4As and 4Bs minimum. The local (excellent) comprehensive says you need an A or A* in maths GCSE to do maths A level and a B at least in any other subject

[BitOutOfPractice]

Getting into the right 6th form now seems to be as fraught as getting into uni was back in my day

[titchy]

They may be the minimum needed balletgirl - but I'm guessing the vast majority have significantly better grades than the care minimum.

[Balletgirlmum]

Well they have 100% pass rate with 77.5% A-B & 50% at A-A so their admission policy must work.

[Laniakea]

dd's school (comprehensive) requires 7 Bs minimum to do A levels, 2 B's, 2 more A-Cs & a BTEC merit to do level 3 BTECs or 4 A-Es to do a level 2 BTECs in the sixth form. So there are options for less academic students but it is reasonably selective for A levels.

Anyone who has applied to the sixth form from the lower school is expected to be there in person on CGSE results day to enrol/negotiate alternative courses. The school is open the following day for students moving from other schools.

[TeenAndTween]

ballet Do you know what their drop out rate is during or at the end of the first year?