Son won't be attending GCSE results day....i'm distraught!!

[mirrenso]

Hi, my son, who's expected to do ok in his GCSE's but be rather borderline in terms of school requirements for 6th year entry.....has just announced that he intends going on summer camp to Europe run by a church group to help underprivileged children....hence missing results day 25th August!!
I'm utterly devastated....I have been looking forward to this day for years.....he is the apple of my eye......and this day would be one of the most proud in my life.
However....if he were to be borderline....that very morning is crucial in terms of negotiation with 6th year heads....and competition for places is extremely fierce.....we both need to be there!!!
Son says, text me the results....which I think is ridiculous.....he is already getting a week camp away with Scouts at the start of August...and the school will take a dim view of him not being there!!! His father says I'm being silly and the camp will "look good on his CV".....but if he doesn't get into 6th year he won't need much of a CV!!!
I am at my wits end....advice please.....complete split in house, fights, arguments.....disaster....please help!!

[HSMMaCM]

Oops sorry. Don't know how I missed the update.

[NicknameUsed]

HSMMaCM Read the OP's update.

[TheSecondOfHerName]

That sounds like a sensible solution, OP, and the best of both worlds.

[HSMMaCM]

He needs to give you a letter so you can collect his results, so he could include a note to say you are also authorised to speak to sixth form on his behalf.

[ThumbWitchesAbroad]

Well that's an improvement, glad you managed to find a reasonable compromise that hopefully will mean he does get a place.

Now he just needs to buckle down and work on those exams!

[mirrenso]

update for anyone interested, trip from 23-30th August, DS flying out on afternoon of 25th after collecting results in person.
Regarding the Maths, that's his subject, along with History, those 2 always his favourites from 1st year.
He is an A in Maths and is doing Further Maths to help bridge the gap between GCSE and A level Maths.
Compromise and flying out to Poland to be met at airport by trip organisers.

[Just5minswithDacre]

I don't blame you BTW, OP; We have a very fixed, one-size-fits-all idea of what is educationally 'best' in this country that it is very easy to be sucked into, regardless of individual profile and talents. You do need to try to calm down, though.

[Just5minswithDacre]

The son might be saying that Thumb (and he probably is very fond of the school) but his determination to be elsewhere suggests he knows what is likely to transpire and isn't interested in attempts to negotiate with the school, OR he's just very fatalistic about it all.

OP, OTOH, isn't keen on alternatives to that school, is she?

[StickTheDMWhereTheSunDontShine]

Agreeing about maths. It's almost like a different subject to GCSE maths, which is very undemanding (my 12yo could probably scrape a C with the wind in the right direction). If a child can't sail through to at least an A at GCSE, there's little point taking on the level of abstraction required for A-level.

[FishWithABicycle]

Lovely though the idea of Maths, history & PE at a-level is to your son, if he can't manage 15 points at GCSE (=7 Bs and 1C) then he will need to revise that plan anyway. I wouldn't advise anyone doing maths A-level if they didn't get an A at GCSE - unless they were firmly on track for an A and something just went wrong in the exam. History ia likewise a tough course. Really the minimum for A-levels should be 17 points (A grades in the planned A-level subjects and B grades in 4 others). What would your DS be likely to do if he decides 2 terms into the A-level course that he isn't cut out for the academic track? Because it might be best to go down that route from the outset.

[MonsterClaws]

This is easy to sort surely? Your son needs to meet with the person in charge of sixth form admissions and outline his worries and see if he can be away and can still speak via phone/parents if he gets 14 not 15 points.

If they aren't flexible than you can say no or leave it up to him- honestly I would do the latter. He sounds proactive and busy and maybe if it cocks up for him a dose of realism will help him focus.

He needs to also talk about Maths as he needs a different A level- it's a pointless choice unless he is already a confident A or above. Every year kids and parents want to choose it after scraping a C or B and its invariably a huge mistake...

Oh and OP calm down - really because that kind of pressure makes kids disengage (and attend the furthest away uni they can get to...)

[ThumbWitchesAbroad]

I believe the OP's son is the one who wants to stay at that school, actually. As the OP has said this.

[Just5minswithDacre]

As far I understood, she only wanted him to be able to go to college and possibly get some A-levels.

The way that things are going makes me think that being gifted with children/in sports is not going to pay the bills, or help him get the job, if he can't produce college/university certificate or diploma at application time.

I understood that OP is hellbent on A-levels at that school to include A-level Maths (cut-off 15points for entry, DS predicted 14-16, i.e. a B/C profile).

He wants to be primary school teacher. He sounds temperamentally well suited and capable of gaining a place on a suitable university course. Hopefully he'll consider a PE specialism as he sounds talented and we need good PE teachers.

Within that, there are various ways to get from here (GCSEs in 2016) to there (Uni entry in 2018). Scraping into an academic sixth form and taking A level Maths might not be optimal for him.

[DioneTheDiabolist]

Tell him you'll let him go to camp if he studies really hard to improve his "borderline" subjects. It would be a much better use of all your time than arguing.

[MeMySonAndl]

"Stop trying to turn a warm and gifted-with-children sportsman into a top-flight academic scholar, maybe?"

As far I understood, she only wanted him to be able to go to college and possibly get some A-levels.

The way that things are going makes me think that being gifted with children/in sports is not going to pay the bills, or help him get the job, if he can't produce college/university certificate or diploma at application time.

[Stopyourhavering]

My son phoned school on results day... We were boarding plane to go to Cuba at the time....GCSE results day is not the be all and end all!!....A levels maybe...talk to Head of 6th form and explain you won't be there...he won't be first student to not be around for results.... sounds like he's trying to get away from you

[Just5minswithDacre]

You need to avoid having another DC flounder at the 16-18 stage don't you?

Stop trying to turn a warm and gifted-with-children sportsman into a top-flight academic scholar, maybe?

[Just5minswithDacre]

I don't think Rugby WILL swing it OP TBH.

Maths A-level seems unrealistic for a B/C student too. Are the Sixth form offering the new intermediate Maths qualification?

Maybe there is a reason for your son's fatalistic stance and desire not to be in the country at the time, particularly given your more, err passionate side as demonstrated in your OP?

Could you maybe have a calm and rational sit-down discussion with him now about what his plan B is, if his results are not good enough for VIth form at his current school? Perhaps find out where and when he would need to enrol for that Plan B?

Something like a Sports BTEC could suit him extremely well irrespective of GCSE results, in fact, and provide a very solid and respected route into teaching. Maybe he just needs confirmation that he won't disappoint you whatever route he follows?

[TheSecondOfHerName]

At my son's school, for those who narrowly miss the grade requirements, there are two options:

Turn up on results day, make a verbal appeal to the heads of department for the subjects you would like to study at A-level, and hopefully persuade them that you are a viable candidate.

Don't turn up on results day and don't get a place in the sixth form.

If my son narrowly misses the grades and isn't there on results day to appeal, he will be closing the door on the opportunity to do A-levels, as the other local sixth forms are very competitive for external candidates.

[Laniakea]

yeah 25 (!!!) years ago when I did my GCSEs my mum picked the results up & told me over the phone because I was on holiday ... not sure how relevant that is to OP though.

Not going in may or may not cause problems for OP's son depending upon the school's particular set up. I agree the drama is OTT though.

[georgiatraher]

I got my GCSE results over the phone, as did the friend who was on holiday with me.

[RainIsAGoodThing]

My parents certainly didn't accompany me to results day. I went with my friends, text my dad the results and went to get chips.

I don't even really remember it that well to be honest. I don't think he - or you -we will be missing out on much.

[TeenAndTween]

ballet Do you know what their drop out rate is during or at the end of the first year?

[Laniakea]

dd's school (comprehensive) requires 7 Bs minimum to do A levels, 2 B's, 2 more A-Cs & a BTEC merit to do level 3 BTECs or 4 A-Es to do a level 2 BTECs in the sixth form. So there are options for less academic students but it is reasonably selective for A levels.

Anyone who has applied to the sixth form from the lower school is expected to be there in person on CGSE results day to enrol/negotiate alternative courses. The school is open the following day for students moving from other schools.

[Balletgirlmum]

Well they have 100% pass rate with 77.5% A-B & 50% at A-A so their admission policy must work.