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Secondary education

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Original poster

Year 7 Starters

578 replies

pippistrelle · 30/08/2015 14:18

The new uniform is all ready, pens and pencils bought, as many of the practicalities that I can deal with now have been dealt with. So, just a few days to go. Daughter is getting nervous and, to be completely frank, I am a bit too. Not because I don't think she'll be fine but because, well, change can be daunting.

Anyone else at that stage too? Or, if you're already past this phase, how long did it take until you all settled in to a new routine?

(Couldn't spot any other general Year 7 threads, but apologies if there are any others already.)

OP posts:
citykat · 03/10/2015 00:08

So sad to hear that - terrible. Guess form tutor is person to speak too. No solid advice, just sorryFlowers

PerspicaciaTick · 03/10/2015 00:30

Thanks citykat - hopefully the morning will bring a fresh perspective on it.

moosemama · 03/10/2015 10:33

Oh Perspsicacia no wonder you're upset. BullyingUK is a good place to start, but definitely get onto the school straight away as well. I was bullied at school and ds1 has been too. The only thing that has made any difference for ds1 was being firm, consistent and pushy with the school until they took action. Hopefully your school won't need the pushiness and will just get straight onto dealing with it.

Do you have school email addresses? If so, I'd suggest an email this weekend copied to both Form Tutor and whoever is in charge of Pastoral Care. Then follow it up with a phone call first thing Monday morning.

I doubt the other girl doesn't know that she's going too far. Her behaviour sounds calculated and controlling, typical power stuff.

Poor dd, what a horrible start to the year. Flowers

We seem to have a very tearful ds2 on our hands this weekend. Tears at bedtime last night and again this morning, both times over seemingly nothing. I think he's just exhausted. He's been in a lot of pain all week and generally doesn't sleep well when his pain levels are up.

He also refused to come downstairs last night in case I told him off about something, which is ridiculous, as a) it wasn't something I would have told him off for and b) even if I did, I'm really not that scary. Confused I think he's probably generally on edge, with his stress levels all the time, trying so hard to be extra-good and not get into trouble at school and that's now generalised to home. Can't wait for half term to hurry up. I think they all need a break and a chance to properly relax now.

smellylittleorange · 03/10/2015 10:37

PerspicaciaTick so sorry to hear this - hope you can work something out. It is so good that DD has told you. Flowers Cake

TheSecondOfHerName · 03/10/2015 12:35

How horrible for her. I'm glad she was able to talk to you about it.

PerspicaciaTick · 03/10/2015 13:17

DD wants to talk to her form teacher herself - and she will see her on Wednesday. That gives DD a couple of days to try being a bit firmer with the "stop" message. I'm dithering about whether to give the teacher a heads up by email (which she may not see until Wednesday due to working pattern) or just respect DD's judgement as she is handling ti well so far.

Luna9 · 03/10/2015 15:51

If it was my DD I will be writing a letter to the school head teacher and arranging an appointment; it is true that she needs to learn to stand for herself but this other girl is being very nasty; her behaviour is affecting your daughter confidence and it should be reported.

moosemama · 03/10/2015 16:40

Personally, given that it has quickly escalated into physical, as well as emotional bullying, I would want to contact the school and let them know what's going on.

I totally understand you wanting to respect your dd's judgement, but going on past experience, these things can escalate quickly and if it were me, I would want it nipped in the bud before that happens.

Most schools will take bullying very seriously and will want to stop any new y7 bullies before they have chance to get their feet under the table so-to-speak.

I have been in a situation where my ds begged me not to approach the school about his bully, but ultimately I had no choice and he was thankful that I did.

One of the boys that bullied my ds went on to reap serious consequences when he picked on the wrong victim. Another - the one he didn't want me to approach the school about (Y7) was moved away from ds into another stream and for the most part left him alone after that, but went on to do much worse to a younger pupil last year and ended up excluded for that. I'm so glad I intervened when he was bullying my ds or it could have been him that the worse thing happened to, iyswim.

moosemama · 03/10/2015 16:43

That should say, I feel absolutely wretched about what happened to the younger lad, but at the same time felt vindicated in having over-ridden ds not wanting me to get involved, as if I hadn't it would most likely have been him that the worse thing happened to.

Imo, the school do enough, soon enough. He should have been excluded for what he did to my ds, sadly the school learned their lesson to late and his younger victim paid the price. When a school fails to intervene and deal appropriately with bullying they are really failing both victim and bully.

Lilaclily · 05/10/2015 07:56

Per'tick

Hope dd has a batter week Sad

Ds has been pretty grumpy
I think he's tired
3 weeks till half term !

shebird · 05/10/2015 08:57

PerspicaciaTick I am sorry to hear that your DD is having a hard time. It is really good that she has been able to confide in you. I hope you can get it resolved.

I guess it's come to the point where some of the classes true personalities are beginning to emerge. This together with hormones and exhaustion could make it an interesting few weeks ahead Shock

PerspicaciaTick · 05/10/2015 09:26

I think Lilac and shebird are right about the tiredness kicking in. I also suspect that in the first week or two, when everything was new and unfamiliar, everyone was on their best behaviour. Now they are relaxing and not all the behaviour is great.

DD went off full of confidence today. She has written a timeline of events for her teacher and has thought of some comebacks to say if anything happens today...no school tomorrow...then talk to her teacher on Wednesday.

DontCallMeBaby · 05/10/2015 21:01

I'm tired, never mind DD Grin She had a local trip this morning that she decided she didn't want to go in, but it was paid for and the only way to tell the staff she didn't want to go was to turn up as planned at 8.30 and tell them. So she went, and had a whale of a time. Hoping this might mean next time she doesn't want to do a thing cos her friends aren't going, she might think again.

She missed a lesson with homework though, and has chosen to risk getting into trouble rather than try to find out about it. Knew the early detention would be counterproductive, she doesn't care!

allwornout0 · 06/10/2015 09:42

I'm not looking forward to this evening. My dd had quite an emotional time last week with school but finished the week on cloud nine having been told that she has got a part in the school show that she had auditioned for.
He confidence has been quite low as she had been ignored by the other girls in her last school for the last 4 years and been labelled the 'quiet shy girl'. She did everything she could to get away from that label but found as I myself did that once your labelled your labelled.
She was the only one from her old school that went to her new school and was really excited about it, however I have just seen something on her school website and it looks like somebody else with the same Christian name has been given the part in the school show, she is going to be so upset.
Looks like we are going to have an emotional week again, I was hoping there would be more clubs in her school for her to join but these don't seem to have materialised. She is also a Young Carer so although we try our best we struggle to be able to get her to clubs outside of school.

PerspicaciaTick · 06/10/2015 09:54

allwornout - your poor DD, sounds tough. I hope that the school help sort out the muddle about the play and your DD still gets a confidence boost.

DontCallMeBaby · 06/10/2015 15:43

allwornout any chance the muddle's the other way round, is DD has the part but they've put the wrong name on the website? Fingers crossed for her.

allwornout0 · 06/10/2015 17:16

Just spoken to dd and showed her what was written on the website. she looked very confused but quite sure that it was a mix up on the website(for her sake I hope she's right), she is going to speak to the drama teacher tomorrow.
Every knock back she get's she picks herself up again and try's again but it's just so heart breaking to watch as a parent.

moosemama · 12/10/2015 16:11

Well, ds' aim/deal with his best friend, to not get a detention for the whole of this term, if not the whole year, has been blown today. Daft boy managed to leave his planner at home, so got a lunchtime detention for not having it. I pointed out that he had assured me that he had packed, checked and double checked his bag, as they have equipment check on a Monday morning and he said he saw the spirals of his notebook and assumed that was his planner.

Fortunately he's taken it on the chin, accepted it was his own fault and isn't upset about it, but is treating it as a learning experience.

allwornout did your dd get the part in the play in the end?

PerspicaciaTick · 12/10/2015 16:19

I'm still keeping my fingers crossed for *allwornout's" DD too.

I just wanted to update that DD's school have dealt with the bullying very efficiently. I emailed them on the Monday night, they replied about an hour later the same night. The girls weren't in school on Tuesday, but the teacher's discussed their plan of action and phoned me Tuesday evening to let me know what they were planning to do. First thing Wednesday they spoke to my DD and the other girl, who admitted everything and apologised. DD and other girl are now rubbing along OK and no more has been said. Hopefully it has been nipped in the bud and won't resurface later. DD and I are both hugely relieved Grin.

allwornout0 · 12/10/2015 16:42

Sorry, been caught up trying to sort out my other dd's DLA, praying the week gets better.
My dd asked the drama teacher about the part and was told that they made a mistake and that it was my dd that had the part, we had a very relieved dd and parents that evening.
Tomorrow is the first meeting about the show so hopefully it all goes ok for her.
Pleased to hear that the school have dealt with things well PerspicaciaTick

PerspicaciaTick · 12/10/2015 16:48

Hurrah - I hope your DD has a fabulous time in the show.

moosemama · 12/10/2015 16:54

I am so pleased to hear the school was proactive and dealt with the bullying Perspicacia. The girl that bullied me in Y7 (well Y1 Secondary, because I am ancient) ended up being my best friend and even came to my wedding over a decade later. Smile

allwornout more good news! Really pleased for your dd. Smile

Ds is doing fine, but I am hanging out for half-term now. The admin created by three dcs at different schools is exhausting on it's own, never mind all the new starter (ds2) and back to school (ds1) stress on top.

We've also had to pay out £158.00 in ParentPay requests for school trips, across the three schools, since the first of October! Shock

oldmum22 · 13/10/2015 12:39

DS2 is exhausted. He loves the school and the new people and subjects but he is easily upset at home for no apparent reason. He has a project to do at the moment and whilst the school have given clear guidelines, on what they expect, it has been a struggle to get him to produce something. I cant wait for half term and hope this is just a very steep learning curve that will right itself .Good luck to other Yr7s

WiryElevator · 13/10/2015 13:58

I'm hugely proud of DS. It's such a big leap. The public transport, the after school clubs, the different sports, the moving from classroom to classroom, the nightly homework, the planner oh! the planner, all the new friends, the new subjects.

He's tired. But he's coping so well.

BlackHillsofDakota · 13/10/2015 19:19

Glad everyone's dc's are settling in and issues are being dealt with.
Just wondering how hands on you are being with homework? Dd did some science work tonight, I helped her with ideas and then she did it but it was really poor quality. I asked her if she felt it was good enough and she said yes. So I said if you think it's ok then you hand it in. It's definitely not good enough, should I get her to review it tomorrow night or just let her hand it in and get a poor grade?