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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

Year 7 Starters

578 replies

pippistrelle · 30/08/2015 14:18

The new uniform is all ready, pens and pencils bought, as many of the practicalities that I can deal with now have been dealt with. So, just a few days to go. Daughter is getting nervous and, to be completely frank, I am a bit too. Not because I don't think she'll be fine but because, well, change can be daunting.

Anyone else at that stage too? Or, if you're already past this phase, how long did it take until you all settled in to a new routine?

(Couldn't spot any other general Year 7 threads, but apologies if there are any others already.)

OP posts:
MirandaWest · 25/09/2015 16:18

DS just got back.
I am in trouble for forgetting to top up his lunch account. This was the second time this week Blush.
He has decided I need an A6 detention (i think this is a lunchtime detention in a particular room). He is probably right tbh

Lilaclily · 25/09/2015 16:41

I'm also jealous of any year 7 who lacks they're own bag and gets out of the door on time !

moosemama · 25/09/2015 16:45

Well, ds2's maths teacher was ok about it. Apparently there were no questions - the homework was to write some questions to test other classmates with. Teacher said he'd explained it fully in Monday's lesson when ds was off sick, then just said "Do the 5 questions on x" when he set the homework on Tuesday. So, he has the weekend to get it done.

He's really pleased that he didn't get any homework today. He only gets one subject on the Friday of week 1 and the teacher said she wouldn't set any, as they're staring a new topic next week. That's just reminded me actually, I need a copy of his homework timetable now he actually has one.

smellylittleorange · 25/09/2015 20:42

Good news Moosemama" phew !

DD is crying at Bambi becuase it reminds her of "When she was little" ..it has not even started yet we are still at the beginning ..oh dear! This was supposed to be a nice snuggly evening just us two. Guess it just a fear of growing up too fast!

DontCallMeBaby · 25/09/2015 23:02

Homework for Monday is to teach me (got to be me, she is being weird about DH at the moment) the four methods of coastal erosion. Via the medium of kung fu according to DD. The description on the website starts "Can you get them for homework to" and really doesn't read like its for parental consumption.

Seeing a friend on Sunday whose DD has gone to a different secondary. She says we can compare notes on what they've lost so far ... how do I break it to her that my notoriously scatty DD hasn't lost so much as a pencil yet? Grin By comparing numbers of detentions, I guess ...

allwornout0 · 28/09/2015 08:47

God, this damn bus is driving me round the bend.
At the start of term we had the bus driver lie to my husband when he tried getting a monthly bus pass saying that they didn't do them anymore so he had to get a weekly pass for the last 3 weeks.
Today he took dd to the bus stop armed with the money for a monthly pass again as there is still 4 weeks left until half term, he came home and said the driver said it wasn't worth getting a monthly pass as there are only 3 weeks left and of course he believed him.
I have a stinking cold at the moment and feel really bad that I had a go at my dh for listening to the bus driver again so now it's going to cost us even more for the bus.
The bus is the only thing that has made Y7 a worry, it is such a unprofessional bus company, we can't get a school bus pass for it from our LEA and it is the only bus service that goes to her school. All they seem to do is make things up. It's going to cost me a fortune, they already charge the same price no matter where you get on the bus so we are paying the same as someone that gets on at the start of the route 7 miles away.

Grr, I really hope the week gets better.

var123 · 28/09/2015 09:29

Can't you buy the bus pass from a local shop or the bus company online i.e. not from the driver?

allwornout0 · 28/09/2015 10:16

No, unfortunately not. It's a smallish bus company from a different town who have been given a contract by the county council, it's a term time only bus so only school children use it although the public can if they want to.
It's due to this that our LEA won't give us buss passes for it and say we have to deal direct with the bus company.

MuttonDressedAsGoose · 28/09/2015 11:46

My son has started y7 today... again.

That is, he has transferred to a different school. He was initially placed in his last choice hs but last week was offered a place at the first choice. We're all over the moon. The kid seems to have taken it well, after initially not wanting to (his best friend at the other school.)

I sure hope he's happy!

TheSecondOfHerName · 28/09/2015 18:33

So far, DD has lost: three socks, her calculator, her maths set, her planner / homework diary, her pencil case and one hockey sock.

RaisingSteam · 28/09/2015 22:32

Can I jump in here?

DS has started year 7 at our nice, not too big local secondary. He is adopted and does struggle with transitions and he's had his confidence knocked by being picked on at primary school (and no other boys from his primary are in his tutor group). I had really hoped he would make some new friends at secondary but he says he hasn't at all, he "keeps to himself". In form time he's sat as the only boy on a table of girls, so separate to all the other boys.

Is there anything I can do to help him? To be honest he's not an easy person to get to know but I worry about him being lonely. It's overwhelming enough with the bus (also no friends) and homework and everything.

shebird · 29/09/2015 09:12

Hi Raising sounds tough for your DS although it is still early days. Can you email the form tutor with your concerns? Perhaps she could change things around to help him integrate a bit more with the boys. Do the school have a pastoral care person you could go to? In the meantime Flowers for you.

moosemama · 29/09/2015 10:02

Mutton Hope your ds settled in quickly and is happy at his new school.

Raising personally, I would contact his tutor and/or the lead for pastoral care in his year. There's lots they can do, including setting up a buddy and introducing him to lunchtime clubs where there are pupils with similar interests. The tutor can definitely move him onto a table with the other boys, that would be a good start.

We've had a rocky morning here. Ds left home at the usual time. I waved him off, but something made me go and look out of the upstairs window to watch him go down the part of the road you can't see from the front door. I actually wondered if he was running to meet his friends, as he's still anxious about being late and them not waiting etc, even though he's usually first there.

I saw him walk to the first road he has to cross, disappear behind the hedge, then there was a pause and I saw him limping back. He was in terrible pain with his ankle and also heel pain, which is relatively new - he developed it last term, but has been ok so far this year, even with walking a lot further.

Brought him in, text his friends to go without him and gave him pain relief. Then he pointed out he has PE before lunch, so had to type him a quick note for the teacher and luckily his dad was still here, so drove him up to school. So cross with dh, who implied it was all because ds didn't want to do PE. He doesn't like PE, but that's because he's scared of the teacher and as I pointed out, it's far scarier to have to approach the teacher and ask to be excused, than it is to keep your head down and do PE. Hmm

I've just been onto the school, again, as they still haven't set up his care plan, which means he has no pain relief in school, should he need a top up this afternoon. Yet again the person I need to speak to is busy and will call me back. Grr! Problem is, the person in charge of care plans is also head of admissions, so will be busy with open days and visits for next year's intake.

I'm going to book ds a GP appointment. Not sure what they can/will do, as he's already had a, frankly hopeless, course of physio and been seen by the Lead OT. I'm thinking he may need orthotics though, for what good it will do. I had my first lot of orthotics at his age and was told it was probably too late for them to do much good. Hmm

To cap it all, there's no-one around who can pick him up this afternoon, so he's going to have to walk home, no matter how bad he feels. Sad

So cross with DH, ds needs to know that we support him and won't accuse him of malingering, he really doesn't do that. Unlike myself, dh has never had chronic pain to deal with though and while he does try, he really can't understand what it's like.

citykat · 29/09/2015 10:21

Longtime lurker and name changed too. I admit it-I am not coping with year 7. DS is fine. I hate not knowing the teachers, the children, the rules. I hate the heavy bag. I hate that DH has endless patience to test vocabulary. I hate that I feel like I am neglecting younger children because I know the primary, been there done that, and cannot muster enthusiasm for year 1 whereas I am desperate for details of year 7.
I also know that I need to step away, that he has to grow up, that I cannot micromanage it anymore. In theory a great school, he seems happy and likes the work. It is all about self reliance and an expectation that telling the child is sufficient, no need to tell the parents. I know I need to get a grip and move forwards and be positive. DH is the master of that. I just need a time to adjust. I really didn't think it would be so hard. Just a vent really - in RL everyone 'loves' their new school. I don't just now. But it will get easier I hope?

moosemama · 29/09/2015 10:31

citykat I think what you're feeling is pretty normal. We're almost forced to micromanage our dcs at primary, by the schools' constant demands on us, then they go into Y7 and it all comes to a grinding halt. We go from indispensable to feeling obsolete almost overnight.

The truth is though, that we're not. They still need us, just in a different way, we have to just be there, be their safe place, pick up the pieces if/when needed, bolster confidence and step in when they're out of their depth. It takes a bit of adjustment but that will, I hope, come in time.

Brew
MuttonDressedAsGoose · 29/09/2015 10:34

citycat I know how you feel about the mysteries of year 7. I'm foreign and the acronyms flummox me, which doesn't help.

I sort of feel like primary is where you can relax, unless there's an issue to address. But secondary is when they actually have to begin to compete. And in a couple of years, my child will be expected to know what he wants to do with his life! I'm petrified of him getting this wrong. I'm worried that I may let him down.

DontCallMeBaby · 29/09/2015 18:10

Raising form tutor/head of house/whoever does pastoral care ought to be a good start. It does seem that these days schools tend to care about kids' friendships, unlike when I was at school, mutter mutter ...

citykat I feel a lot like that. No ther kids so no one to neglect, but no one to distract me from my tendency to micromanage, over-invest and ... well, control. Yesterday in particular it seemed ALL WRONG - I don't know these kids, they seem made up, not real, I've not done more than set eyes on any of her teachers (briefly at that), it's all just a bit weird. Like watching. New series of your favourite programme and the new characters are just not right. Plus because the school has such a good reputation I'm in 'impress me' mode and it has yet to deliver.

Today is different - DD texted to ask if she could go to a friend's house after school, then could she stay for tea, so I took her Guides kit round and she'll come back after that (8.30!) Friend's mum seems nice, so that's cheered me up, but I feel a bit surplus to requirements now, plus DD was decidedly off with me when I went round (possibly a bit stressed by having to do her homework without having a tantrum).

MuddlingMackem · 29/09/2015 18:34

Tonight we had the Y7 parents evening with tutors. Good news is that DS is settling in well and joining in with classes. Behaviour good. No negatives so far. Grin

moosemama · 29/09/2015 20:46

Don'tCallMe my ds called and asked if he could go to a friend's house to work on a project after school yesterday and it was actually a shock. As it turned out, they messed up between them and his friend had asked his mum if he could come here, so they ended up at my house anyway. He's never really done the going round to friends after school thing before, so that's something new. He's going round there on Thursday instead, but the lad's mum has kindly offered to drop him back and fortunately I do already know them from primary.

Muddling good to hear your ds has settled in so well. We have our tutors/parents' evening tomorrow. They've allocated all of 5 minutes per set of parents and dh is having to go without me, because we don't have a sitter for the dcs and he's going to have to go straight there from work to make the appointment time.

Finally managed to sort the paperwork for ds to have pain relief in school. So I'm relieved about that. Unfortunately he was in a lot of pain this afternoon. My Mum, bless her, came back early from the thing she had on today, just so she could go and pick ds up. Unfortunately, probably as a result of continuing to walk on his bad foot and carry his bags all day, the pain spread all the way up through his knee and hip, so I've had to write another letter asking for him to be excused from PE tomorrow as well as today.

It's such a problem, because obviously he can't have time off every time he's in pain or sub-luxes a joint, but at the same time, if he doesn't rest and give it chance to heal, the pain increases and the healing takes even longer. Poor lad.

CarlaJones · 29/09/2015 21:50

We've got a parents eve coming up to see the form tutor only, but you only go if you have worries or concerns, so we can't go. It feels a bit odd that we don't get to meet the form tutor just to talk about how dd is settling in etc. I remember my parents having the opportunity to do that when I'd recently started senior school back in the day!

I'm watching Educating Cardiff at the moment and it seems to be all the rage to wear their coat inside the school building. How come people on mumsnet say secondary school kids never wear coats? Grin

MuddlingMackem · 29/09/2015 23:10

moosemama We only had 5 minutes per child too, but it was enough I think unless there are problems.

I had to trail DD with us on the bus as DH was stuck out on a course, which was a major pain, but at least they both behaved. :)

shebird · 30/09/2015 14:27

I agree citykat it is different to let go of the micromanaging and going from seeing the teacher and friends on a daily basis to just nothing. As others have said I am trying to be there in other ways for DD. She is managing the school stuff now and I am making sure she eats well, gets enough rest and of course giving lots of hugs and support so she can cope with it all.

Whatsthatbrightlight · 30/09/2015 17:37

DS is settling just fine, it's me who's struggling. I'm used to him going to the local primary school where I knew all his friends and teachers. Now he's a bus journey away with people I've never seen and is expected to sort out his own problems. I'm redundant and I'm not sure I like it!!

citykat · 30/09/2015 23:17

Thank you to those who have made me feel less daft for finding it difficult. Feeling much better about it today. Less homework (I posted on Tuesday, Monday's load was horrific caused in part by bad organisation), so he was able to go to a non school activity, and I also spoke to head of year about a few things. Our meet the form tutor isn't til next week and I could not wait that long. No doubt this will all seem crazy in a few weeks. Onwards and upwards and thanks again.

PerspicaciaTick · 02/10/2015 23:51

I'm having a wobble tonight as DD has confided in me today that she has begin to be bullied. My DD is less than a month into Y7 and the girl that DD initially found a bit too sarcastic and with a tendency to make slightly cruel jokes has now escalated her unpleasantness to include pulling DDs hair (hard enough to twist her head - then holds it there), pinching her face (and holding hard), helping herself to DDs stationery, telling DD that she doesn't like her and that nobody cares about what DD has to say about anything. DD is scared that the girl doesn't seem to know where to stop when she starts hurting her.

DD has never faced anything like this before and is flummoxed and upset because she has been absolutely loving her new school. I, on the other hand, was bullied for years but as I never told an adult or confronted the bullies it just rumbled on from year to year until I left school. I have no experiences which reassure me that it is possible to fix this, but realise that this isn't necessarily true for every instance of bullying.

I've looked at the Bullying UK website and will be talking to DD over the weekend to come up with a plan of action. I can do calm and reassuring in front of DD but right now I'm feeling panicky, heart pumping, mind racing and absolutely furious that one child is casting such a shadow over DD.