I have two children in state secondary schools. Both have friends at private and state schools. There are nice kids and chumps in each sector.
The 'amoral' jibe is idiotic and transparently desperate: "OK, so our very minor public school may not be great at the old academics, but we're awfully good on intangibles..."
What really annoys me about the whole private/state debate is the private sector bleating self-righteously about 'unfairness'. When state school kids make it to Oxbridge the independents whinge about "social engineering". What do they think private education is, if not " social engineering" , a Huxleian nightmare of a cadre, bred over centuries, to assume control?
I can see why the parents of privately educated Oxbridge rejects are angry - they thought they were buying privilege and it turns out they were only buying an education - but you'd think they'd be embarrassed to say it out loud. As for the whole "charitable status" thing, it's like asking the stable lad to bless Young Master's horse for kicking him.