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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

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Original poster

Is everybody happy with their choice of a NON-selective secondary education over a selective one?

376 replies

AdventuresWithVoles · 07/06/2012 14:26

Genuine question.

OP posts:
choccyp1g · 07/06/2012 14:51

genuine answer,
I don't know yet as DS starts at local "bog-standard" comp in September.

I must admit I am having wobbles now, as he probably would have got into selective, especially if we'd gone private.
Ask me again in a few years, unless I am already on here bewailing.

BringBack1996 · 07/06/2012 14:55

We didn't have a choice, no selectives within about 30 miles of us. I would have loved to have sent DS to a selective school but obviously couldn't. Most people don't have a choice either.

TalkinPeace2 · 07/06/2012 15:28

Hampshire : no selective state schools. End of.

bibbitybobbityhat · 07/06/2012 15:39

My dd is going to a bog standard comp in September. It was my 3rd out of 6 choices although she only had a realistic chance of getting in to 1 out of the 6 I put on my list.

I am opposed to private schooling and disapprove of the current selective system in this country.

I am extremely relieved not to live in a grammar area, because we would have got caught up in all the stress and anxiety that selection entails if we did.

All I want is a better choice of good non-faith and non-selective comprehensive schools for everybody.

NiceHamione · 07/06/2012 15:45

Yes my children have gone to non selective schools in selective areas. Ds is on track to achieve all As or A stars in his A Levels and will have a choice of where he wants to go to uni. He has had great teachers,attended the local school, travelled the world, succeeeded with D of E, had a great work experience, excelled in sport and made great friends. I am not sure what a selective education could have given him in addition, other than perhaps a superiority complex.

randomfennel · 07/06/2012 15:53

So far, yes. I have a very variable 12 yo, she might have passed an 11+ on a good day, but she's not obviously "academic" or "non-academic", so I don't think a grammar or a secondary modern would have been right for her. And I have a very academic, competitive 10yo who would be obvious grammar school material, but I don't see why she won't be absolutely fine in a comp.

Also, I'd have found it very painful to have my dc split at 10 into successes and failures (which I think would have been very likely). We were very careful not to move into a grammar school area when we moved a few years ago and had that option - there are grammars near here, but a bit too far to be convenient, they are a long tedious trek away.

MrsRobertDuvallHasRosacea · 07/06/2012 19:16

Yes, ds yr8 doing exceptionally well at his non selective boys school which is rated satisfactory by Ofsted and was deemed a write off 5 years ago.

bigTillyMint · 07/06/2012 20:06

Yes.

DD is doing very well, but is only in Y8... and the real proof of the pudding will be with DS from SeptemberWink

BeingFluffy · 07/06/2012 20:27

It wasn't our first choice but yes I am happy that DD2 is at a non selective school (though she was "selected" due to the school's visual art specialism).

While saying that they do stream the kids for all subjects in one "form" e.g. she is in the same group for English which she is strong in and Science which she is not particularly great at. Not sure how I would feel if she was in the bottom set or if they weren't streamed at all.

The school has been rated as "Outstanding" since she has been there, and has risen from an undersubscribed sink school, to having people move into the catchment to have a shot at it.

What I really like about the school is that it is local and that we know a lot of people there from the neighbourhood. If the school had been that good a few years ago, I would definitely have preferred it to DD1's super selective - I think she would have done well at either school - but the behaviour at the school at the time was a great concern.

bibbitybobbityhat · 07/06/2012 20:57

(Ooo, Tilly, I believe we have a fb/rl crossover thingy going on)

motherinferior · 07/06/2012 21:01

My DD1 is due to go to a comp in September, which was my first choice Wink and at which I rather suspect she will do well.

bigTillyMint · 07/06/2012 21:03

Yes! Do you recognise me?Grin

And she will (of course) do well MISmile

rainbowinthesky · 07/06/2012 21:04

Not sure yet. Ds has nearly finished his GCSEs in a comp, He could have got into grammar I am sure but we chose not to. He is predicted to get As and A*s so no difference there and has had some fantastic opportunities extra-curricular wise that couldn't have been topped had he gone a selective route. However, I am not sure he is as self-motivated re revision as I would like so may not get predicted grades but I don't think a selective school would have made a difference to this.

rainbowinthesky · 07/06/2012 21:05

With dd I will still go down the comp route as I think the most important thing is self motivation which comes from within rather than school.

bibbitybobbityhat · 07/06/2012 21:09

MI: it would have been my first choice too were it not for that pesky complicating factor I have which is my ds Wink

Tilly - I recognise you from the Christmas meet-up (which I didn't go to in the end) fb group.

aliportico · 07/06/2012 21:16

My dd2 went to a comp (not our nearest) last September after being HE'd up to age 13. It's a good school, they're very responsive whenever I've contacted them, she's doing well and will no doubt get good GCSE results in a couple of years. It's been good for her to be near the top of the class, but she really struggles with the behaviour of some of the kids (not an HE thing, just her, she was like it at nursery, and ever since) and has felt picked on at times. She definitely feels that dd1, at a grammar, has an easier time getting an education because she can just get on and work.

So in that respect, I'd rather she was at the grammar school, but she was and is adamant that she didn't want to go to a school where everyone was clever and she wouldn't get any credit for doing well, or to an all girls school.

She was recommending to 9 yo dd3 to try to get into the grammar the other day though.

motherinferior · 07/06/2012 21:36

Bibbity, I do see your point - I'd have preferred mixed too, ideally!

PooshTun · 08/06/2012 01:05

Its funny how a subtle difference in a subject can solicit a different response.

I'm an Indie parent and recently I started a thread asking if parents had any regrets about sending their kids to a selective school. My butt got seriously flamed by those who decided to bypass the question and instead decided to give me grief for choosing a selective/private school.

Its nice to see how some parents can have a civilised discussion about something without one's politics interferring.

creamteas · 08/06/2012 11:48

Yes, all mine went/are at comps and it has suited all of their different abilities. The academic one achieved good grades and is doing great at a good uni. The non-academic was supported in more vocational options and is now in a great job. The two currently there are both doing well at their own things.

All achieved at our local comp which has never come close to being top of the league tables!

mummytime · 08/06/2012 12:09

I am. DS probably wouldn't have got into a selective, as his English is well behind his Maths etc. Around here they are either fee paying or a long commute for super selectives. As it is he is getting good GCSEs, has a chances of a good Uni (how good depends on ASs). DD is doing pretty well too, and it was nice for t,hem not to have too much stress at 11.

NiceHamione · 08/06/2012 14:07

pushtun I think there is a difference between people discussing how their children are doing well in an inclusive model of education and people discussing how well their children are doing in an arena designed to exclude other children , often by financial criteria .

Original poster
AdventuresWithVoles · 08/06/2012 14:24

Fear I've asked the question in wrong way, oops.
I was thinking of private schools with entrance exams in OP, but I guess most of you are thinking only of state sector selective vs. non-selective? And private would be a completely different type of choice?
Don't know if we even have selective state secondaries within 25 miles.
DC1 is at a private secondary, actually, but I'm moving him to state ASAP.

DC2 is quite able, could pass most types of entrance exam, but every time I weigh up all the factors in trying to send her to a private school there are too many negatives. Then I feel like a failure for not being more of a pushy mom.
Motherhood guilt, no matter what you do, eh?

OP posts:
bibbitybobbityhat · 08/06/2012 14:30

How can you describe any private school as non-selective?

PooshTun · 08/06/2012 14:33

bibbity - If you want to be pedantic then everything is selective. A state school 'selects' kids from a catchment. If property prices are such that only the well off can buy a property within the catchment then that is 'selective' as well.

PooshTun · 08/06/2012 14:37

"pushtun I think there is a difference between people discussing how their children are doing well in an inclusive model of education and people discussing how well their children are doing in an arena designed to exclude other children , often by financial criteria"

Thanks for proving my point :o

Obviously only parents at inclusive schools are allowed to discuss how their children are doing.