Is everybody happy with their choice of a NON-selective secondary education over a selective one?

[AdventuresWithVoles]

Genuine question.

I expect it's been said but it's not really a choice. The selective school selects.

Have just seen that pedantry is allowed on this thread, so... the phrase is "boxed standard" not "bog standard."

@ Step those without wealth and pushy parents but with ability should grasp the nettle and apply (or, obviously, their parents should fill in the form on their behalf and apply). And not be put off by myths of social exclusivity. If they don't apply they won't get a place.

@ Secret nearness to school is a total irrelevance to admissions at our school, with the single exception of its use as a tie-breaker for the very last place, where exam scores are equal. So that trick won't work. (That said, travel costs money, which is a deterrent for some). The view of our HT, expressed very clearly at the Open Day last month, is that intensive coaching in his long experience is a big waste of money for almost everyone, with possible rare exceptions.

@yellowtip - stories about secondary modern girls setting fire to the hair of someone who they perceived as being posh kind of answers seeker's question from a few days ago about why some GS parents are so afraid of their kids going to the same school as secondary school kids :o

seeker I don't know whether it was typical but my DH and his brother were the first in his family to be educated beyond 14. They went to the local grammar and both went on to university and successful careers. Their parents were not by any means well off.
Needless to say DH is a fan of the old system because it worked for him. I think it is so different now as to be incomparable with the way it was when he went in 1961. In those days there was no coaching and every child took the 11+ not just those whose parents took the trouble to arrange it.

Kate Moss went to that particular school Poosh, but I expect life on the 234 bus had calmed down by then.

@yellow Actually, I must admit I wasn't aware there was an individual tracking system (unless you mean the website which only gives (some)marks)! I feel we get far less feedback than we do for DS at St Ps (although I'm not completely convinced of the usefulness of pseudo scientific feedback, mind you).

@yellow Actually, I must admit I wasn't aware there was an individual tracking system (unless you mean the website which only gives (some)marks)! I feel we get far less feedback than we do for DS at St Ps (although I'm not completely convinced of the usefulness of pseudo scientific feedback, mind you).

@seeker I can assure you that all children who do not take the 11+ but go to a local comp instead are not 'bound' to feel inferior. DS does not in any way feel inferior to DD1. He knows he is in individual with string points and less strong points, just like she is. He chose to go to his school. Until he got whooping cough he was really enjoying it there. If a Young person feels inferior then that is down to their parents. Everyone has an individual, everyone has different skills.

Strong points, not string points. He has no string points. As far as I'm aware.

Metabilis there's a very pretty colourful system which you probably haven't encountered because your DD is working properly and doing just fine. You find out how effective the system is when a DC starts to be slack. I've been vaguely telling one of mine he was clearly being slack but it wasn't until he was red flagged by the system that he took notice and within the space of a few weeks has seriously sharpened up, instead of gazing at the astroturf/ butterflies/ brick walls outside. All schools should have this sort of system in place; I've no idea how many do.

Have been very sorry to hear about the whooping cough btw, I'd thought it was extinct.

Every 7 weeks DS's indie publishes online his grades for all his subjects which are based on homework marks plus any tests he has recently taken. If a boy consistently score low on a particular subject then certain procedures kick in ie the house master will get involved and the parents will provably be asked to come in.

DS is making good progress so we don't pay much attention to these reports but I can imagine them being a useful wake up call if a child is struggling

@yellow that's interesting- and encouraging I suppose.

There has been a huge increase in cases in some parts of the country apparently. The vaccination loses its power at about 10. Adults don't get it (well, they carry it but they don't suffer like kids). Now we are losing herd immunity (especially round here because of Narnia) it's becoming a thing again. There's a proper epidemic in parts of the USA too (where they have another booster at11). it's all been a bit of a nightmare but hopefully it's done now. :) #touchingwood

What do you mean "boxed standard", nfk? I am confused.

I would never willingly choose an academically, financially or religiously selective education for my children or [dictator of the world emoticon] for anyone else's children. My only exception to that is that I would choose a special school if I had a child with severe special educational needs which I did not feel could be managed in a mainstream setting because of lack of staff expertise/equipment etc. I wish there were more of these co-located with mainstream schools with some mixing at the edges and at play times.

Everyone should be educated together and meet people who are different from themselves, as far as possible within the confines of their local area, imo.

I quite like my children's comprehensive school, though I didn't really choose it as such- there is little choice in my area. Its huge strengths are that they like it and that their head of year is amazing. I think they could use a few more inspiring teachers and am amazed at how little work they get away with producing but I do acknowledge that my sons are quite lazy and therefore a bit difficult to inspire. The curriculum looks quite dull when I take a look at what they are doing in subjects I liked in school but I think that might just be a sign of the times generally. I am unsure if they will get any GCSEs without doing more work but the teachers I meet at parents evenings always assure me that they are broadly on track. They are only in year 8 so I suppose it is fairly early days . The school has also sold out and become a Govean academy for financial reasons, like many schools. Lily livered short-termists and a big mistake but also a sign of the times. [gloom] .

Poosh the DC in question wasn't struggling per se, that would have required energy which wasn't noticeably on display. He was being a dreamer, like he is at home. Idling, when he could do far better.

We don't pay fees, so we just get a letter and possibly a phone call as well. By not paying fees we avoid having to go in :). Basically the same system and the same outcome however.

Metabolise- if there was q local "comp" to go to round here I would be delighted.But there isn't. Sheep or goats at 10 in this bit of Kent!

Sneaker - its you that says they are goats. Nobody else. My dyspraxic DDs are completely shit at sport. I don't think that makes them goats. Nor do I think that being less good at schoolwork than they are makes other children goats. You clearly do - but that's your problem. Not the problem of any of the kids (unless you make it their problem).

seeker - I promised myself that I will not get into a pointless protracted bun fight with you so I will limit myself to just one response.

You project a lot of your emotions onto the kids that you talk about. YOU consider secondary schools to be inferior so therefore all secondary modern kids must be walking around muttering that they are such failures.

I failed the 11+ so trust me when I say that neither me or my secondary modern classmates considered ourselves 'failures'. Most weren't academic so they didn't exactly spend a lot of time lamenting over the fact that they weren't in the top set let alone thinking about not being at the local GS.

Riversidemum - I am pretty sure I went to the school your children go to. You are quite right that the catchment area is huge and encompasses all types of housing. It was a shock for me to move to London and find out that catchment areas here are very small in comparison and therefore far more selective.

Do you live in a small town where 23% of children "pass" and get congratulated in the street and new bikes, and the 60% or so of the rest who took the test but "failed" get comiserations and "oh well, x is a really good school nowadays" and "you're really bright, you'll do well anywhere"

Why do you persisting denying my experience? I am not saying that this is right, or how parents, teachers and casual passers by should behave- and it is not, actually how I think and behave. But our town is a model of how the 11+ worked in the old days - and that is what people want to go back to. And I am here to tell you that it is not good for anyone.

seeker - ok, I'll spare you a 2nd response.

It's sounds like your 23% = 23 real kids. I mean, I could walk down my town's high street and not meet anyone I knew, let alone meet someone that would stop me to remind me that I was a 'failure'.

Your fellow townees sound like right snobby bastards. Any decent person would have gone - 'My DC passed so loserrrrrrr!' But yours? Saying supportive things to your DC? What a bunch of c*%ts. :o

"It's sounds like your 23% = 23 real kids. I mean, I could walk down my town's high street and not meet anyone I knew, let alone meet someone that would stop me to remind me that I was a 'failure'.

Your fellow townees sound like right snobby bastards. Any decent person would have gone - 'My DC passed so loserrrrrrr!' But yours? Saying supportive things to your DC? What a bunch of c*%ts. "

Is it just me, or does this post make no sense at all??

Why do I get the impression that you don't come across many ironic people in your small town?

Translation: your fellow townees are being supportive as opposed to taking victory laps around your DC. Yet to you, they are making your DC feel inferior. And this leads me back to my comments about you projecting.

Anyway, I am going to keep to my promise to myself and not to get into any protracted bun fights with my fellow MNetters so adios.

No. This is not about my ds. I didn't realise that you were talking about my individual family situation- because I wasn't.

Do you not have the imagination to understand the impact that this sort of thing has on a cohort? That every year another group of 10 year olds go through this sorting process? Do you live in a town where this happens?