bursaries... would this piss you off?

[Gef]

One of the mums at DD's school, her daughter has a big bursary, I think they pay 20%.

but... mum drives a newish car, always wears labels (north face coat etc), and now daughter is probably going on a school trip to Australia
(cost £3000), which my DD won't be going on, because we can't afford it what with the FULL FEES we struggle to pay...

Go on, MN, crucify me, I know I am going to be told it is none of my business, and maybe it isn't, but I think they must have fiddled the figures when they applied for the bursary because they seem to have a lot of disposable income.

Do chicken really work what about your plants dont they eat those? I got what appears to my eye to be hairy slugs 5-6 inches long will chickens eat those?

Depends what the plants are (and how fussy the chickens are- mine are very fussy)

Thought they will eat any slugs

Chickens it is. Sorry for hijaking!

happygardening, my closest friend experienced the all pervading ethos of which you wax lyrical. It's possibly why she took an overdose in a boarding school dorm at 15, it's possibly why she still has therapy and it's certainly why her children are happily, successfully state educated despite her parents wishes and cash.

I'm sure this happens and IME children in state schools both comprehensive and grammar also take overdoes/require therapy and in non pushy indies We can all make generalisation and at the risk of repeating myself as parents we do what we feel is going to work for our own individual DC's.

We do indeed!

The intellectual stimulation I'm talking about is not pushing children to get better exam results or Oxbridge/Ivy League entry its something much more discrete than that. In fact my DS was offered a place at super selctive top performing grammar but the impossible journey aside I thought that was a pushy exam result obsessed school.
As a recent mature student I loved being in the company of and listening to experts in their own particular fields discussing and debating their subjects. I didn't care whether these subjects were realated to assignments or exams passionate about the subject I was studying I just liked to listen and learn for the sake of learning. The opportunity to explore something about a subject you love just because its there. Many schools both independent and state have lost sight of this exam results have become the the begining and the end the first and the last. Its enough to put children off education for life and its hardly surprising that many develop mental health problems lack confidence, cant wait to leave school or drop out of university.

At DS school there is also a charity fund (raised mainly by parents - summer fetes etc) which is primarily to ensure that those on means tested bursaries do not miss out on educational school trips for financial reasons. I doubt this is the only school which helps out in this way.

My kids get that at home happygardening, wot wiv having two Oxbridge and state educated parents

Youattheback your Oxbridge education may make you and your partners the countries leading expert in art/music/architecture/science/literate/history/astronomy/global politics/economics and more but I am just a mere mortal and my university education only makes me fairly knowledgeable in my own subject so am reduced to having to pay school fees to expose my DS to these things.

Who is having these conversations with your DS? Staff? Are they educated at a special place where mere mortal state school teachers are denied entry? wonders if DD1's PhD maths teacher knows she's teaching in the wrong sector

You know, there are good schools, okay schools and crap schools. And both state and independent schools come into each of those categories.

I can only speak for myself and my family but three of my children are on the G&T register and they have access to all the things you mention and more, believe you me. DD1 is off to Cambridge hopefully next year. Ability and attitude usually get you where you want to be in life, I've always found .

"Who is having these conversations with your DS? Staff?"
Obviously not just staff outside lectures etc. well.
my children are on the G&T register and they have access to all the things you mention and more, believe you me. "
Believe you me I know your children don't have access to all these things and more. I'm not clueless living in an ivory tower of private ed. and I'm not point scoring but until you're actually in these schools you have no idea what these children have!
"DD1 is off to Cambridge hopefully next year." as are there from my DS1 excellent state comp.

With respect happygardening, you actually have no idea what any school is providing, bar those that your own DC attend. There could be an argument that being in the company of highly intelligent and educated parents gives DC at least as much 'intellectual stimulation' as the odd hour or two of big name speakers brought in to keep boarders out of trouble.

happygardening - methinks you protest quite a lot. If you know your ds's school is superior (and, if it's the one I guess it is, then it is superior, although saying that I know many alumni who do not appear to have ingested all those highbrow conversations you speak of...) then why feel the need to keep pushing it? I have nice skin. I know I have nice skin. But you don't find me on an acne thread. I'm not bothered. I don't need to tell anyone else what they're missing. (I hasten to add that my skin and nice feet are my only decent assets. The rest of me is utterly clapped-out crap.)

happygardening - you have NO idea what my kids have access to because you don't know me or my life or friends. You haven't a clue who our social circle includes but vos loquentes de foris .

I'd love to know the school, BTW. I know plenty of folk from top schools and most of them are very ,very nice but far from sponges of all that is academically illustrious.

Oh, and please don't presuppose I don't know what I'm talking about . As I've said, you know nothing about me.

Youattheback its fine for you to tell me I don't know what I'm talking about but no for me to say the same thing to you!
We are never going to agree and it it doesn't matter you are happy with your choice of education and I am happy with mine. I like and believe in my Ds's schools and ditto for you. We are both incredibly lucky there are many who don't feel this way both those who pay and those who don't.