bursaries... would this piss you off?

[Gef]

One of the mums at DD's school, her daughter has a big bursary, I think they pay 20%.

but... mum drives a newish car, always wears labels (north face coat etc), and now daughter is probably going on a school trip to Australia
(cost £3000), which my DD won't be going on, because we can't afford it what with the FULL FEES we struggle to pay...

Go on, MN, crucify me, I know I am going to be told it is none of my business, and maybe it isn't, but I think they must have fiddled the figures when they applied for the bursary because they seem to have a lot of disposable income.

I'm quite happy for my kids to be the bright geeky kids in excellent state schools where there are lots of other bright, geeky kids.

To be fair, I am always incredulous at the lengths people go to to send their kids to private schools. I dont know whether this is because they liv ein dire catchments or because they perceive that private school will confer all kinds of advantages or whatever.
It's all very odd to me. We live rurally, my kids have ponies and skiiing trips and we have plenty of dosh to afford private school). Everyone we know is the same and everyone we know ( bar two people who make enormous financial sacrificies) uses the local excellent state schools. I genuinely don;t get it but then DH and I are Oxbridge from state schools

mollie it clearly matters a lot to you that you are perceived as top of the tree. So I can see why you have made the choices you have and why it would kill you not to be the richest at private school.

Word

Mollie you have answered your own argument - you have excellent state schools. Not everyone does. I'm sure they were a factor when you moved to where you live.

My DC's have been the poor ones at private schools and we did get burseries. They have never been teased nor have I felt uncomfortable at the school gates despite my 15 year old car and the DC's Asda trainers.
In fact ,my DD said one girl did get teased for her Jack Wills obsession. The others bought most of their clothes from charity shops, there seems to be competitive money saving rather than the other way round.

I'm going to C&P Mollies post every time someone starts bleating about state schools offering DC the opportunity to mix with all types .

I'm also going to C&P it to the students on a course I'm giving on just how little imagination some people have.

Our experience is much like NCIS. According to the Charity Commission website the school my ds goes to awarded 200 bursaries last year.Have just asked my ds and he says he has never mentioned his bursary at school and has no idea of anyone else who has one .

No, not little imagination. Just gobsmacked at the sheer lengths some go to. I do understand there are some shitty state schools so you could, yunno, move?

word, we're not even the richest at state school, not by a long chalk!

Mollie- we did.
Still didn't cope with their needs. Moved again, suits dd but not ds1. I have nothing against state schools just thankful ds had this opportunity as he was being let down.

Surely applying for a bursary is less going to lengths than moving is anyway

"the sheer lengths some go to" - what, filling in a form? A PITA form, admittedly, but hardly comparable with moving house .

mollie can you really not think of any reaons why some families might not be able to move into the catchment of a good school?

Go on. Let your imagination run riot.

I was state school educated and had far more grief for not having lots of money as have my sisters children at state schools.
My DH was at a top public school on a scholarship and never had any problems with having very little money, in fact he said that the ones who did get teased were the conspicuous consumption types, think lots of expensive cars etc.

Betelgeuse, that's so often true.

However, I live in a non-leafy, non-conservation area catchment of an outstanding primary and an excellent comp where most of the catchment is social housing and housing prices are lower than many other parts of our illustrious borough - Lambeth!

Is it an area considered 'desirable' by many MNers? no. Both schools have factors which I often see viewed with extreme suspicion on MN - high number of children from deprived backgrounds, high level of children with SSOL, majority not white.... it's a happy school, has great standards, has a high VA score as well as high 'actual' scores.
There are other schools with far higher levels of deprivation (on average) which also do extremely well on VA scores, and are 'outstanding' schools - but many parents prefer schools with lower VA scores and a lower ofsted, in high priced housing areas, because they feel the kind of child fits their idea of a good school, and they only look at the aggregated scores, which reflect the type of child who goes, not necessarily the education!.

That's awesome Blu, don't you wish they could all be like that...

You know it is so ironic, I grew up in a healthy state school system (Canada, at risk of outing myself) where there were very very few "private" schools. Plus I have always considered myself to be quite a social liberal and in theory I was always sort of against the idea of independent schools, without having thought about it too much pre-DC IYKWIM.

Now look at me. My DDs go to an independent, fee-paying school - and now I work in one!!!!

When I was looking at schools for DD1, who is now in Year 3, it was pretty bloody obvious pretty bloody quickly that our local state primaries were dire and we would have to go independent. Funny how your ideals change when it is your own DC's involved. I get really defensive about it sometimes. Not about to quit my job though either... such a hypocrite....

Mollieflanders I don't pay for one of my DS's education because I live in a dire catchment area I have the counties top performing school on my doorstep or because I believe that private schooling will confer all kind of advantages. I'm also not paying for good exam results in the case of his school over 50% got A*s at Pre U or the fact that every year between 30-40% go onto to Oxbridge and an ever increasing number to the Ivy because the Ivy league apart I acce

Mollieflanders I don't pay for one of my DS's education because I live in a dire catchment area I have the counties top performing school on my doorstep or because I believe that private schooling will confer all kind of advantages. I'm also not paying for good exam results in the case of his school over 50% got A*s at Pre U or the fact that every year between 30-40% go onto to Oxbridge and an ever increasing number to the Ivy League because the Ivy league apart I accept that my DS could get the same results in a state school. And it's not breathtaking mediaeval buildings acres of playing fields a fantastic standard of pastoral care and the opportunity my DS has to peruse his chosen sports 6 days a week without me having to drive him least 60 miles to do or the jargon free conversations I can have with the staff, the access to the art room on Sunday afternoon, numerous concert and regular plays etc. All these things are great but ultimately what I'm paying for is the level of intellectual stimulation that just does not exist in the state sector. I'm not just talking about in lessons I'm talking about an all pervaiding ethos.
I accept that not all independent schools are like this or that all children thrive in this kind of environment but IME until you actually experienced first hand what this actually means then you have no idea how big the gulf between state and private is.

She could be one of the "fur coat and no knickers" brigade. Lots of them about.

Alternatively, she could have a fantastic accountant.

That's life and it might not be fair but I don't think you should worry about it although I can understand why it annoys you.

happygardening - Ha ha ha. That is hilarious.

happygardening - if only Mumsnet had those signature thingies they have on other forums. You could copy and paste that last one and have it as your sign off on every single post you make oh sorry you already do.

happygardening - so how come you send one of your children to a state school, how come you aren't paying for him to be intellectually stimulated in a pervading ethos of intellectual stimulation and being able to peruse his chosen sport six days a week?

Simple he wouldnt have got in and if he had he would have hated it.
bibbitybobbitybunny I've started a thread on the grdening section about the plague of slugs that infest my garden do you think I could get my favourite point on there too?
By the way any suggestions about how to gey rid of thousands of revolting slugs without killing off all the other wildlife would be apreciated.

Chickens