Recommendations for co-ed boarding schools

[ohmygosh123]

I'm thinking about options for DD who loves being outdoors, gets on very well with boys and girls, and often better with boys as she is quite sporty and likes to be able to run around. Hence why I am thinking co-ed might be a better choice than an all girls school. Also needs to be academic, but with friendly atmosphere and good pastoral support. Any ideas please, as I'm not that well versed on co-ed boarding schools that take girls from 13.

He's at a prep school so not at secondary yet and he's about to change to a prep where he'll have to board by the time he is in year 6, if not before.

I would also look at Rugby, which has a good reputation as an all round school.

ohmygosh123, the school my DCs go to offers all of that yet hasn't been mentioned (I haven't read the whole thread but I'm sure it won't have been). It's not a well known school, doesn't have the name and isn't widely advertised as being an academic school. Despite this it is a loving, kind place with fab facilities and gets a fair few to oxbridge every year. It also sends people to music conservatoires and art college (your DD may decide she doesn't want to follow an academic path). Now I'm not suggesting that the school that is right for my DC will be right for yours, it isn't even in the right part of the country, but what I'm saying is to look beyond the name and traditional reputation of a school and give everywhere (even schools you haven't heard of!) a go.

A couple of points on the food arguement - I think that canteen dining is much better than in house as it gives students a chance to socialise outside of the people in their house. In house dining was something my DC loathed as there wasn't as much variety and he couldn't chat to his day friends or people in other houses. Mealtimes are so sociable it seems a shame to spend them with the same people every day. Also with canteen dining (at least at DC's school) parents are invited to eat at school every saturday and that's for day pupils and boarders. It is a highlight of my week actually as the food is great!

Forgot something else. When we were looking for schools we found it really interesting to spy look at the mailing section for letters that were sent home. This gave us a good idea of the amount of sports matches, concerts and school trips that were going on.

Trix123 I think you are over analysing this. I'm not blaming you all school are ruled by exam curriculums, ISI reports, GSG, ofstead reports on boarding, and off course parents themselves the vast majority are paying for exam results. This has resulted in the schools becoming so homogenised that its hard to tell one from the other. If you look at the websites/ prospectuses for nearly all schools are very well written all claim to offer something unique but are all saying similar things. "Uppingham feels like a school in which children will be happy, Oundle "It provides the complete educational experience," Kings Canterbury " where everyone can grow up safely and securely" Oakham where, without doubt, everyone enjoys themselves." How can you possibly chose so its hardly surprising that you start analysing the nationality of the chef and whether the food is supplied by Brake Brothers or the local organic butcher. Also results e.g. % Oxbridge entry primarily reflect the selectivity of the school.
IMO you need to be practical; Im assuming both you and the OP have missed the selection process in yr 6 for the super selective so think about other things if your looking for full boarding choose a school where full boarders are in the over whelming majority, be sensible about distance 1 1/2 hours one way is really far enough especially if your DC is sporty/musical/into drama, be open minded about coed, does your DC have a particular interest he wants to pursue if its rowing look for a school with wins in rowing, if its horses find a school with horses on site etc. do you want exeats, flexibility on end of term dates this might be important if you abroad and not forgetting where are their friends going to? Draw up a list of those that meet your chosen must haves, just visit them don't be influenced by the GSG, MN or the women you met at the gym. Also don't be influenced by superficial things; big hair, no hair, green hair and dare I say it sausages and beans and loos try and get a feel for the atmosphere look at the children do they look happy, what about the teachers, the matrons do you like them? Forget about the other parents certainly at senior level you wont have much contact with them any way. Once you found one you like stick with your decision don't let MN or Tatler or the mum on the side of the rugby pitch or anyone else influence you I promise if your positive about your choice your DC will pick up on this and be positive too.

ohmygosh123 "I do want her to have a decent (comfortable) bed, somewhere she feels comfortable washing in, a friendly housemistress/master" I think you will find that this is pretty standard stuff the vast majority of boarding schools provide this as a bear minimum gone are the days of thin blankets and draughty windows. The occasional sausage role never hurt anyone but again they are unlikely to be for a main meal even in schools with terrible food.

Watching this thread with interest as we are also on the look out for a good co-ed boarding school! Like you we're looking around North Yorkshire although there don't seem to be many recommendations in that area.

have a look at Woodbridge, St felix & Framlingham College. All have boarders & excellent sporting facilties.
I have only ahd first hand dealings with Woodbridge & the pastoral care & ethos of the school is fantastic.
The headmaster is a lovely man who really knows his stuff.
I only know day pupils at St Felix & fram, the one at Stfelix went there becuase of the sporting links, Fram does seem to loose a few at 6th form either to the local state 6th form (has a fantastic reputation) or other private 6 forms. Maybe they all shuffle around a bit then. x

Trix123 I think you are over analysing this

Perhaps. I just want to know what I am getting for the 150K that I am about to commit, and to be sure I haven't overlooked a school that would be great for DS.

happy about your summary of marketing spiel from Uppingham-Oundel-KC-Oakham - yes, the messages all blur into one after some time. One registrar sent me a video with a plea to me to look at it - I didn't even feel I needed to watch it, having seen the marketing videos from two other schools.

As I cannot visit many schools, I have to go on reputation and recommendation, and to glean insights on stuff that matters to me from those that know.

Happy I really appreciate all the comments from you and the other education gurus. In your latest post above, you mention 1.5 hours as a good criteria - I appreciate your thought that distance is an important criterion and it strenghtens my idea of holding out for an offer from our first choice of school, which would be 2.5 hours from our house (including short flight) rather than 4.5 hours to the alternative school.

As for the food thoughts, well, the OP asked for ideas on how she could tell in advance whether the food would be good. Good food itself should not necessarily part of the decision in selecting a school, although eating IH rather than cafeteria style might be.

I'm not trying to be unhelpful in fact the complete opposite but I do really believe that if a school is 2.5 hours from your house and assuming like most of us you lead a busy life; work, other DCs at different schools, friends, pets, your own hobbies etc then I doubt you will attend that many school activities. We have friends a similar distance to their DS school but no flight in the first two terms they've attended the school twice that was to drop him off at the beginning of each term. But the positive thing (or not!) is that this opens up more schools. Although I will also add that we had a 4.5 hour journey to the prep and it really is not doable.
I believe its Harrow who you are holding out for a place, I wold suggest you spoke to them to find out what are the chances but I understand from MN that they are not overly helpful. What does your prep head think the chances of you getting a place are what do other MNetters think? Are You looking for 2013?
One final point if you chose a school and send your DS and he hates it its not necessarily the end of the world. We know of at least five children who moved from one over subscribed big name to another in the last few years so I think there is often movement after a couple of terms.

Happy, I have found several of your insights - both those especially for me and those that you have posted to others and in the past - very helpful indeed.

The Admissions Office at Harrow has been brilliant throughout. I have also read on MN that the people there are not helpful, but that hasn't been my experience at all. Quite the opposite - I have found them helpful, responsive and efficient.

OP and Trix there is a mother whose posted on the Rugby School posting who seems to also have children at some of those mentioned above perhaps you could PM her for insight into them.

Bryanston

Bryanston is not always popular with MNetters but we've a friend with a DS whose recently started there and they are really pleased with it. Lots of the negative comments written are certainly not what they experience.

Very popular here - not for us as we prefer single sex secondary (partic. for girls) but Bryanston has a v good reputation locally.

and OP, apologies if someone has suggested this already, but don't discount single sex education. Oldest dd is at single sex indie and loves it - very very sporty and outside all the time it seems.

"Food isn't at the top of my list - but I think the kids should have a homely environment and be well cared for, otherwise I wouldn't feel comfortable sending her there. So yes, I do want her to have a decent (comfortable) bed, somewhere she feels comfortable washing in, a friendly housemistress/master preferably with a pet etc. And the school needs to stretch her academically hopefully to get her to Oxbridge or equivalent, encourage curiosity, and allow her to keep playing sport and doing music, oh and have great pastoral care. I'm starting to think I'm asking alot - but I'll be paying them nearly £30k a year FGS."

I would hope any indie worth its salt would provide all that and more tbh.

Awinawin said "housemistress/master preferably with a pet"!
"I'm starting to think I'm asking alot

It is a hard decision - and advice helps - but then it can get overwhelming ...... thankfully I have left myself & DD loads of time, including to go down the super-selective / scholarship route. (I like forward planning!) I like the idea of having a less selective, and more selective option like Trix is going for - and to be honest I won't be sniffing at even a 10% scholarship, although more would obviously be nice.

XLII are you looking for co-ed / single sex and for a boy or girl?

I think I will end up going down the academic route with DD - DD's teacher today told me she wasn't just interested or keen to learn, she was positively greedy (to translate the french literally) about learning! She finds it entertaining and keeps DD well-supplied with extra work. But I do want her to keep this love of learning for life.

Oh and about the pet - everyone I spoke to who really enjoyed boarding school said the house mistress / master had a dog or cats. The ones that didn't were madly jealous of the ones that did. Apparently something to do with its nice stroking an animal when you are homesick or hacked off wth whatever. We have dogs that DD is very attached to - so I added it to my list of requirements! I have been given advice a mile long about how to choose a boarding house for DD's future happiness & sanity, which would fill an A4 page with ease!

After reading all the various threads on MN I'm hoping that my ds's headmaster will have a good idea of where ds should go and that I'll be realistic enough to follow his advice. Although as of last week ds does have a confirmed place on the waiting list at Radley so I hope that's an option.

ohmygosh123 what entry year are you looking at?

OMG we're looking for our DTs (DD and DS) so ideally we want coed but two single sexes very close to each other wouldn't be discounted. Like you in North Yorkshire (although I see you're also looking around London and none of the suggestions are actually in North Yorkshire!).

I know what you mean about requirements that make the list that bit longer - DS is refusing to consider schools without an Xbox (and FIFA!) in the boarding house :)

Bromsgrove!

Hope you don't mind me butting in although my dcs are at the village primary (in Rutland) at the moment so it's not really an issue with me yet. You mentioned you would not discount single sex schools. Well although my sister went to Oakham and most of my cousins went to Uppingham, Oundle and Wellingborough, I myself went to Stamford High School. It's all girls, but the boys school (Stamford School) and the high school now join up for most lessons at GCSE and Alevels. It's quite different to when I was there in the 80s. Stamford is also a bigger and much more vibrant town than Oakham, Uppingham and Oundle if that is important to you as your DCs grow up.

So you all want a housemaster/mistress with pets (maybe children as well?) Xbox and FIFA warm comfortable beds lovely loos and bathrooms organic food cooked by either a French or Italian thats the equivalent to a 5 * hotel and 30%+ Oxbridge entry/super selective and flexibility to vistit take your SC out for tea but also full boarding. I think you need to wake up schools whether boarding or are about the wider picture. Its the general ethos you want to discover and will it work for your DC not food and pets. Im sorry if that sounds hard but that is the truth.

Thats DC not SC.

happy as well as a nice ethos surely you want things that make your DC feel at home? In my son's case that's the Xbox and in the OP's DD's it is pets. Those things to make you feel at home are equally important to the ethos IMO.