Recommendations for co-ed boarding schools

[ohmygosh123]

I'm thinking about options for DD who loves being outdoors, gets on very well with boys and girls, and often better with boys as she is quite sporty and likes to be able to run around. Hence why I am thinking co-ed might be a better choice than an all girls school. Also needs to be academic, but with friendly atmosphere and good pastoral support. Any ideas please, as I'm not that well versed on co-ed boarding schools that take girls from 13.

I'm happy paying an outstanding and completely unique education which my DS loves! He eats the food.
How many houses at Eton? I thought 50% ate in house.

Friends whose DS recently left Winchester thought that the food at the DSs house - and probably all the houses - was very poor. It sounded to me as though it was typical of bad school meals served some 20 years ago, and hadn't changed much.

It bothered them a bit, but they put up with bad food for the wider picture.

Why can't the matrons improve the food?

When I broached the subject with a housemaster at WC he admitted there was a problem with the food at WC, although as he was new to the job he planned to change that in his house.

14 house at Eton in-house.a

Dont know and I suppose frankly don't care that much the food I've eaten (with the boys) on two occasions was perfectly edible and certainly wasn't revolting and I'm a fussy eater and as your friends so rightly said "the wider picture."

There is no justifiable reason why one house can have great food and another house have dire food. This is the case at many boarding schools, I'm not having a pop at Winchester.

in-house dining is more of a pastoral care issue than a standard of food thing for me (and it's just a gut feel - no science involved). My DS is a human dustbin not a fussy eater, so I doubt he would starve.

But that's the point, many boys end up being hungry because they don't get fed enough. Food aside I'm in two minds about in-house v canteen. There is the pastoral intimate side to IH but there may be more social time spent in a canteen. Who knows, we don't have the choice now so I'll just need to keep an eye on DS consumption.

At the risk of pointing out the obvious it can only be the case in schools with this dinning arrangement all five of them and as I've already said Tonbridge's food is decided and maybe even cooked centrally. I cant comment on the others.
I dont know if in house dinning is a pastoral care issue. We love it but I wonder if we look at it through adult eyes? It definitely promotes a housecentric ethos which I believe is essential for full boarders but perhaps we read more into it than there is. I don't know the answer to this just musing.

One of the HM at WC had a great idea. He had a massive (and I mean at least 80 apples) fruit basket in the common room. He said boys rarely bought or ate fruit during meal times but if there was a bowl lying around they would pick at it.

Surely more than five schools in the country have this arrangement?

My DH is a fan of canteen dining as always going back to base doesn't foster the social side of boarding so much in his opinion! We spend so much time choosing a school, choosing a house and housemaster, but the peer group in house is not known until day1! Dining out of house gives a chance to mix more broadly with the year group.

The problem is with the admissions process. It happens too early. We chose IH when DS was 10 because of his personality. Now he would thrive, and probably enjoy more, with canteen dining. A choice of three meals as well with canteen and going up for seconds. Oh well, at least he will develop a wide and unfussy pallet!

Sorry I only got to page three but I really had to post.

This kind of thread really does irritate me. People judging schools on how many As the pupils get, who the parents are and what cars they drive. Surely you should be looking round the schools you and* your DD like and seeing what they offer and whether you feel it's right for you.

This whole thing about 'academic' schools really annoys me too. DD went to a horrible school because it was 'academic'. She stayed until year 9, went to a non academic school and is now on the way to As and A*s at GCSE. If anything the environment she was at was detrimental as you felt intimidated by the immensely bright children. Only a confident child could flourish in that environment and that wasn't my DD. DD's school also offered a wide variety of after school activities but the reality was that no one could enjoy them as they had such a tough workload.

The fact that a school gets good results is also not necessarily a reflection on the school. If they're only getting bright students surely they will be getting good grades? So what I'm trying to say is that if you have a very bright, outgoing daughter then a very academic school is good. If she is shy or not quite the best then there is a chance she could feel belittled (talking from DD's experience here).

Also don't get hung up about Oxbridge applicants. Look at all top universities. Again I'm only saying this as at DD's school there are more students going to Imperial, UCL and LSE than to Oxbridge and they've actually had higher offers.

Sorry that's all very negative, good luck with the search.

Special diets are probably better catered for with in house dinning, the fussy are probably better served with canteen style dinning as there is choice. It?s also worth remembering that every boarding school I've ever looked at also has some sort of catering arrangement in the house even if its just a kettle for those loathsome pot noodles and a toaster.

Meals at Oundle are generally in house. The girls all eat in house, as do most of the boys, but a few of the boys' houses share a dining room. If I remember correctly, 2 of the town houses share a dining room, and the field houses share a dining room. The food in girls' houses was generally considered to be better than in boys' houses when I was there (about 5 years ago).

I'd have hated to have a big canteen, although I take the point about consistency. In house dining is much nicer, especially at breakfast.

In terms of being selective, I don't think schools that aren't super selective are a bad thing - they can be less selective overall without being less academic. One of the nice things about Oundle (and I'm sure it goes for other less selective schools) was that you can't live in an ivory tower surrounded by other 13 year olds fluent in Latin/Ancient Greek/18 other languages and with a GCSE in maths at the age of 5. There were very, very clever people there, but there were also people who weren't so bright. I think it's quite unhealthy to grow up in a hot-house type school - you can't always be the best at something, and you will sometimes have to help people who are less clever than you. Doesn't hurt to experience that earlier on.

A nice illustration of this that I can think of - for GCSE study leave one of the girls who really understood her subject would go through past papers with another girl in house who struggled a bit. The girl who could do it enjoyed helping her, and it gave her valuable exam practice. The girl who struggled enjoyed having a friend helping her and explaining it in terms she could understand. The staff are there to help too, of course they are, but sometimes things are better coming from friends.

IME the excellent things about super selective is that being really clever and academically ambitious is the norm and the bar is set very high and gives the very bright highly motivated child something to work hard and aim for. The environment is always intellectually stimulating in particular many of the extra activities that are organised which are likely to be well attended. There?s nothing more exciting than being amongst the very best as an ex. horse rider I loved watching and training alongside some of the best riders in the world (although I completely lacked their ability) and I?m sure musicians and artists etc. would say the same. Maybe I'm just a bit odd (dont answer that colleger) but I find it?s the same in academia to sit and just listen to the top people in a particular field is just so exciting.
I think you will find that the ?more able? still assist the ?less able even in these places.

Super selective boarding schools are great, I'm not as convinced about super selective day schools though...

Why?

Loads of boarding schools eat in-house. Rugby and Repton too, off the top of my head, and surely many more? IME the quality of dinner is a problem more often than lunch. I have seen and heard of some shockingly poor quality meals. It does seem to be an issue across schools.

Actually I think 'loads' is an exaggeration. But more than 5!

My son has appalling dinners - beans and sausage rolls. I wouldn't feed that at home, so unhealthy.

Yes Colleger that's exactly the kind of thing I'm familiar with too. I find it absolutely shocking considering the fees. Not to mention just plain unhealthy.

Past Grace please please tell me what happens to girls hair at Uppingham!

All I really care about is that DD feels that she can be the best she can be - she is a kid with a furious drive to learn. She doesn't give up unless she can do everything everyone else can. She has a real - if he/she can do it, then if I try I can learn to do it too - kind of attitude. Which I think is a good attitude for life, and one I want her to keep. I don't want her to be groomed for marriage .... I want her to have her own life and belief in her own abilities - hence why I am inclined towards more "academic" schools. Nearly £30k is a hell of alot of money, and I don't want to toss it away carelessly. I see it as if I make the right choice for her, she will come out of it having enjoyed what is on offer, confident and articulate, having fulfilled her academic abilities and hopefully a good set of friends.

I perfected not trying and an appalling attitude to get me through 5 years at state school without being picked on for getting good marks / being bright. I really don't want that for her ...... by the time I went to independent grammar / Cambridge it was too late for me to really change.

We will go and see a variety of schools, look at prospectuses together etc - but I can't go and see every school in the blasted country, which is why it so helpful talking to you ladies. So thanks!

Re selectivity: I want her to be happy so I don't want her in the kind of environment that belittles occasional failure and doesn't take the bigger picture into account (doing sport or music etc) - a kind of if you don't get 5 As at A-level you will have let the school down kind of thing. But I don't want to limit her options ..... and I want her to have an intellectual peer group. I don't want her to be one of 5/6 Oxbridge aiming kids - ideally I want her to be part of a larger peer group - as I think classes with lots of discussion aids learning and is more fun to be part of. CLC sounds quite good to me - but at the moment alot of her friends are boys - which is why I am not sure about the whole single sex thing.

I am fairly confident

Colleger - seriously sausage rolls? OMG. In rural France even little 3yr old kids in maternelle have 3 course dinners including salad for lunch for 2 euros a meal. DD likes decent adult food. Is girls boarding school food better?

Happygardening - any good girls schools then I should be thinking about?

How do I check the quality of food on offer beforehand?!