Teens at funerals - appropriate clothing

[rickyrickygrimes]

Hello

we are Scottish but haven’t lived in the UK for 20 years. We are coming ‘home’ soon for a close family member’s funeral. Where we currently live funeral wear is very informal - smart jeans, normal jacket, colours etc would be absolutely acceptable.

We are coming with two teenage boys. What’s the dress code for teens at Scottish funerals? They don’t own anything formal at all. I was thinking smart black jeans and a dark shirt?

thanks

Definitely a tie. Black trousers, or black jeans. Mine wore a long coat over the top which was a more practical buy than a suit.

ASOS will have what you need and easy yo return

My 15yr old recently wore black chinos with a black polo and a light jumper over the top.

I agree with everyone that you should just ask whoever is hosting. At my friend's funeral (yes I'm in Scotland) she requested not black so I wore a flowered dress. People mostly looked like they were going to a wedding.

My kids own nothing remotely appropriate for any sort of funeral and always look like they're about to work out so I understand the worry. Everyone will understand you had the time and travel pressure and only the worst sorts of people will judge.

I'm sorry for your loss.

Kilt is absolutely fine at a funeral with a plain black tie and tweed jacket ( day jacket not black with silver buttons evening jacket). This is DH's funeral wear.

Teens should be smart. Black jeans at a push but better with school trousers.

Last funeral I was at the grandsons wore kilts and looked very smart. I think a purple tie is a lovely idea. It will be cold and most people will be wearing a jacket.

Doh! Thank you for pointing that out 🤦🏻‍♀️

This.

Black jeans/black chinos would be fine.

Sounds perfect.

This. Just ask whoever is organising it. I honestly wouldn't worry too much. As long as the clothes fit the requests and aren't scruffy, then you'll be fine. People are there to say goodbye to your MIL, not to judge you or your kids for the outfits they wear. It'll be fine.

Scottish here,

I've had three family bereavements since 2022, my dad, his sister and brother.

Maybe not the same for every Scottish funeral, but black jeans and shirt are absolutely fine!

I've been to two funerals here that the deceased asked for everyone to wear colour and not be mournful.

When we all had to go to a funeral that was unexpected, I took my DCs to a thrift shop and kitted them out there for a fraction of the cost of even the cheapest brand new clothing and shoes.

Sorry for your loss.

Last funeral my 2 teen boys the eldest wore Scout uniform but that was requested by the family. The youngest wore his school trousers and shirt and a black tie.

Id say dark chinos, white shirt, dark shoes and a dark/black tie would be fine

In that case, black jeans, white shirts (or even black shirts), and the purple ties to honour granny would be fine, but I'd go out and buy formal black shoes and black socks.

Black Vans or the like would be fine

I didn’t buy my boy fancy shoes as his feet are size 13 and the price not justified!

Please no jeans! It’s a funeral! Would others wear jeans to a wedding?

Funerals are not the same as weddings. You get a lot more advance warning of a wedding so can easily find something to buy. Also, it's easy to find clothing in a wide variety of colours and styles for a wedding, whereas funerals tend to call for more sombre colours.

I'm Scottish . Normal in my area for teen boys is black usually slim fit trousers (not jeans) and a white shirt with a black tie. Most just wear their school uniform but with a black tie. Close family usually have a black jacket/blazer.

If less formal clothing or colours is preferred it is specified on the funeral notice.

Hi op, I’m Scottish and my teen boys have been to two funerals in the last year. Both wore, new dark black jeans with a black shirt. They were the smartest of the teens there, there were kids in blue jeans and hoodies at both, which didn’t look appropriate! But nobody actually cared.

OK? Not really sure what your point is? You have admitted YOU didn't notice what anyone wore, so couldn't comment on what the attire was. Just because you would be fine with it doesn't mean everyone would.
I suggested the poster exercised caution I didn't say it was definitive. No funeral I have been too would jeans have been appropriate other than one where casual dress was specifically requested.
Always better to overdress than underdress is a motto I would live by. I am sure some funerals it would be acceptable but the op hasn't had this confirmed.

I would buy a shirt, black trousers and wear a black coat

Ask SIL, take her lead.

Here we would be absolutely delighted you had made the effort to attend. End of.

Are they in the funeral cars? Are they speaking? If not smartly dressed in dark clothes (unless a dress code) fine.

I disagree. For teens it's fine at every Scottish funeral I've been to.

I would say no to a kilt, I've never seen one worn at the many formal Scottish funerals I have attended.

I would check with SIL re teens, are there cousins attending? Did Granny request everyone wear purple?

At the end of the day, I'm sure the family will just appreciate your attendance and support on the day.

That's great 🤷‍♀️