Teens at funerals - appropriate clothing

[rickyrickygrimes]

Hello

we are Scottish but haven’t lived in the UK for 20 years. We are coming ‘home’ soon for a close family member’s funeral. Where we currently live funeral wear is very informal - smart jeans, normal jacket, colours etc would be absolutely acceptable.

We are coming with two teenage boys. What’s the dress code for teens at Scottish funerals? They don’t own anything formal at all. I was thinking smart black jeans and a dark shirt?

thanks

My teen boy always just wore school trousers and school shirt with either a black tie unless a colour was specified then he'd wear tie that colour!

Hmm no school uniforms where we are either, they just wear jeans and hoodies 🤷‍♀️

They really have to wear a tie??

Smart and dark sounds totally fine unless you have any additional info - sometimes colour is asked for

Just buy 2 pairs of school trousers from M&S or something.

What’s their relation to the family member? If they’re a grandchild etc they should be in shirts and ties in my opinion.

I'd echo RoseDog, school uniform with either school tie or a black one. In the last 5 years I've attended two funerals in Scotland and on both occasions it was more formal than I had got used to in England. For a family funeral I'd be even more likely to go formal. If the boys don't currently wear school uniform then dark smart trousers and white shirt with tie would be the safest option. To me Jeans are just not quite smart enough for a formal occasion.

No school uniforms where we are, and no school uniform shops.

Yes they are grandchildren.

You can order online then, have it delivered to your home or a relatives home in Scotland, or simply visit a shop when you arrive.

You seem determined to not dress them properly? Given that they are grandchildren I’d be renting suits for them.

You should be able to pick up black trousers in a supermarket or Primark without breaking the bank when you arrive. I agree that teenagers should wear a tie.

I am a firm believer that funeral attire should be dictated by the attitde of the person who died. So if the grandparents were old fashioned etc, then yes, dark trousers (I'd say jeans are fine), shirt and a tie. If the grandparents were less so, then as long as it's not trackies and trainers, I'd think it's fine.

Things to avoid I'd say usually would be trackies/super casual pants, very light coloured clothes, particularly trousers, baggy hoodies, or t-shirts with notable logos/pictures. Other than that, fine for teenagers.

Edited to add: also, depends a bit on age. I'd expect attire more similar for adults for teenagers over 16 or so. So teenagers at a family funeral a few years ago - oldest boy (16) wearing a tie and jacket, middle boy (14) was just wearing dark trousers/jeans and a shirt and the girl (11) was wearing a nice dress in a dark colour bt it wasn't black.

Dark trousers, white shirt, black tie would be standard for teens here.

You can easily order online from M&S or similar and have it delivered to one of your relatives addresses or pick it up when you arrive in Scotland. I am getting the distinct impression that you were hoping that everyone would agree with you that jeans were OK and now excuses are being made. If you are coming back for the funeral do you really want your sons to stick out for the wrong reasons when with a bit of effort they could blend in. Your decision but all wr are trying to tell you is that the norm is for more formal attire.

Smart dark jeans and dark shirt is fine. And a dark coat.

Dark trousers, shirt that’s not a bright colour and a dark tie. Suits wouldn’t be required though some teens wear them.

Black jeans and dark shirt is perfectly acceptable.

Ok so smart black trousers we can buy. they have white shirts and black winter coats. Tie we can borrow or buy - maybe dark purple, that was granny’s favourite colour.

That’s not what the three posts after yours say, but thanks for the input.

black jeans and a dark shirt will be fine

Funeral attire seems to be very casual here now but last year I went to a Scottish funeral ( with an amazing piper!) and my goodness I felt under dressed in navy skirt and top and smart shoes. Most people were in black and very , very smart.

Tbh they are grand children so it's your family funeral so they can where what they want . Dark and smart is fine. I would go with M and S uniform trousers, short and black v neck jumper with tie.

So sorry for your loss 💐

My dgm particularly didn't like people in black!! I wore (very young adult) blue flowery dress with black detail.. Maybe their dgm would prefer they felt comfortable in her 'presence'? Last funeral my teen dc attended in black jeans and a black polo top.

A bit harsh. OP was enquiring not determined to go against the grain. Renting suits is over the top IMO.

just black trousers, white shirt and black tie but I bet grandparent would just be happy to know they are present to say their goodbyes.

Sorry for your loss OP.

I think a dark purple tie would be a nice touch if that was her favourite colour!

Just be careful that some posters saying jeans are OK are possibly not from Scotland.
They wouldn't be appropriate for most funerals in Scotland unless specifically told to dress down

Definitely black trousers (not jeans!), white shirt and tie.

People generally wear their smartest clothes. If people wear jeans I presume they’ve not been to an interview for the last decade and can’t afford a pair of trousers.

Your boys are representing their grandmother. Dress them how she would be proud to show them off.

Dark jeans and shirt are fine. Some will wear a tie or full suit but it’s not necessary.