Teens at funerals - appropriate clothing

[rickyrickygrimes]

Hello

we are Scottish but haven’t lived in the UK for 20 years. We are coming ‘home’ soon for a close family member’s funeral. Where we currently live funeral wear is very informal - smart jeans, normal jacket, colours etc would be absolutely acceptable.

We are coming with two teenage boys. What’s the dress code for teens at Scottish funerals? They don’t own anything formal at all. I was thinking smart black jeans and a dark shirt?

thanks

They’re teens, they probably haven't been for an interview in the last 10 years. Dark jeans and shirt are fine.

It really depends on what the family and the person that died would've wanted these days doesn't it? As it is a grandparent, I'd say whatever you think is fine, is fine.

If I am not sure I go a bit smarter than otherwise as less likely to offend.

@rickyrickygrimes id ask family members.

When FIL died, we (close family) were all in black, with a white shirt fir the teen boys/men. Easier because yes school uniform etc….
Mil was wearing ‘normal’ colourful clothes!!
And didn’t quite see why we’d all made the effort to go black 😂😂

If they have a remaining grand parent, I’d ask them. Also any sibling of yours to see how their own dcs will dress etc…

Dark jeans and dark shirt absolutely fine. They’re teens at the end of the day, but you know your family more than we do, my (Scottish) family wouldn’t care what people were wearing as long as it’s respectful and there would be absolutely no expectation of ties

I would say for teens at their GM's funeral, a shirt and dark trousers/jeans are absolutely fine. Jacket if they have one, but certainly not a tie. Not in Scotland, true, but the last few funerals I have been to, people just dress smart, not formal.

I'm Scottish, for grandkids definitely respectful clothing; no to the casual. Order click n collect at M&S for black smart trousers, shirt, tie, any coat will do if it's soon.

I'd say that most funerals I have been to (in England) men and older teenage boys have worn dark coloured or black suits and ties

Also decent shoes, not trainers!

big family funeral recently and hardly anyone wore black!
Most people were in dark jeans / trousers and wore a jumper (it was cold).
No ties.

Having said that - my FiL passed a few years ago and we were all expected in very smart black suits. The kids in black dresses and black flats. Women had hats on.

Honestly, I don't think there are rules. It depends on the people involved.

I bought the cheapest black blazer I could find for my Mum's funeral for my DS, so I've a worn-once, chest 30" David Luke school blazer if it's any use?

Thanks all, we will be able to work something out.

Shoes are a pain. None of us own dress shoes. And I’ve just realised that DH doesn’t actually own a suit and I don’t have any black clothes. This is the first elderly Scottish relative to die, and we have been caught on the hop. It was just speaking to my SIL that alerted me to this 🤦‍♀️

thats news to me, im scottish living in scotland and wouldnt have a problem with black jeans at my family members funeral, tbh i couldnt actually tell you who wore what at any funeral ive been to

This sounds like a very good option. Personally I just cannot stand jeans, no matter how dark or ‘smart’, for a funeral, it’s just too casual for me.
Sorry for your loss.

No. Sadly been to a lot of funerals recently and no one under 30 was wearing a tie. Most teens and 20s men were in jeans (dark blue) or chinos and an open collar shirt. Some with a blazer or sports jacket.

Also the type of jeans that teenagers tend to wear (baggy, lightish wash, half way down their arse ) are definitely NOT funeral friendly. If they are a rare teen who wears straight leg, ink black jeans that could almost pass for trousers then maybe.

Yes, smart formal clothing at a funeral, other than if the family want something different (colours for instance).

My teens and older are expected to wear a suit, shirt (black or white), smart shoes and always black tie.

Formal, smart clothing is a mark of respect.

(they could be bought cheaply from Vinted)

I think the usual is just dark coloured clothing. Anything more formal than a onesie or tracksuit? Unless sometimes the family of the deceased will request specific clothes or bright colours loved by the person who passed.
I wore flared jeans, a baggy knitted jumper and cherry red DMs to my dad's funeral. But it was the grunge era! My Irish and Scottish family seem to be quite informal.

We are off to funeral soon but not sure who is going. If dc are coming they are wearing school uniform skirt and trousers, white shirts and they almost black school ties. And of course black school shoes. You can get all this bits from supermarket.

I’m very sorry for your loss.

Having sadly been to both recently I have observed that English funerals are rather less formal than Scottish ones. The same with weddings interestingly, I’m not sure why the difference.

The last funeral my teenage son went to he wore smart black trousers, white shirt, black tie and smart black coat. The other teenagers there were all dressed similarly.

As Grandchildren, especially as they live abroad, your Mum’s friends & family will be interested to meet them and talk about their Grandmother. People of that age will expect teenage boys to be dressed smartly and wearing a tie.

There are in life always some occasions you need to get dressed up for. This is one of them.

Best wishes, I hope it’s not too hard a day for you all.

Trousers shirt and tie (grans favourite colour sounds like A lovely idea). People will be smart, some of the men may be in kilts even.

DH may end up in a kilt as he actually has one of them!

I don't think we have time to trawl Vinted, funeral is a week today, and we fly over before then.

That sounds perfect.

Order what you need into the Marks and Spencer nearest to where you are staying and collect from the store. Measurements for trousers and shorts are available on their website and it’s easy to return to the store if they don’t fit.

I would ask who is organising it. My DC wore a suit and tie to various funerals at that age. Earlier this week, age 19, he wore a mid blue suit and red tie because his grandma wanted people to wear bright colours to her funeral. Most of us had some pink or red on because that's what she liked