Guilt Free Railing 10

[WouldBeGood]

Is the end nigh?

Just a general work/gp from me. Not sure which thread I was on before but short version is that been off work since end of March with stress. Felt a lot better late June so indicated to work that we needed to get a return to work plan in place, boss eventually decided he wanted another occ health assessment. 2 and a half weeks ago he confirmed that he was definitely doing that, then a week later confirmed he'd asked HR, still nothing until Friday just past when he confirmed that HR were contacting Occ health and he was now on holiday till later this week. My sick note ran out on Friday so without a return to work plan or occ health appointment in place, i had no choice but to phone for an extension to sick note. In the middle of all this boss said that the work I was doing when i went off hadn't been touched and I can help with that when i come back - I can't do that - anxiety has come back and I wouldn't be able to be back under that circumstance, something I was hoping to speak to occ health about and still return soon.

So, GP call on Friday, receptions said no problem would get GP to do another note and I can pick up Monday but someone will call. No call. Phones today and reception very flustered but then says that the GP wants to do a telephone appointment but no-one had told me. next bookable appointment a week on Friday which is no use, so I now need to call at 8am hoping to get an appointment on the day.

Just so frustrated, especially when part of my anxiety is about using the telephone so I've been sitting waiting for it to ring for about 3 weeks from occ health (who hadn't even been asked to contact me yet) and then waiting for GP to call.

Gahhh - anxiety levels been really high now for weeks but I need to get back or won't get paid and this is adding to it and feeling that work are frustrating my return now. I need to email back my boss after his Friday email to lay down some of this but wanted to confirm my sign-off at the same time so that's on hold now too.

Anyway, I know no-one on here can realistically help but I just needed to get it off my chest....

@ElephantOfRisk

Just a general work/gp from me. Not sure which thread I was on before but short version is that been off work since end of March with stress. Felt a lot better late June so indicated to work that we needed to get a return to work plan in place, boss eventually decided he wanted another occ health assessment. 2 and a half weeks ago he confirmed that he was definitely doing that, then a week later confirmed he'd asked HR, still nothing until Friday just past when he confirmed that HR were contacting Occ health and he was now on holiday till later this week. My sick note ran out on Friday so without a return to work plan or occ health appointment in place, i had no choice but to phone for an extension to sick note. In the middle of all this boss said that the work I was doing when i went off hadn't been touched and I can help with that when i come back - I can't do that - anxiety has come back and I wouldn't be able to be back under that circumstance, something I was hoping to speak to occ health about and still return soon.

So, GP call on Friday, receptions said no problem would get GP to do another note and I can pick up Monday but someone will call. No call. Phones today and reception very flustered but then says that the GP wants to do a telephone appointment but no-one had told me. next bookable appointment a week on Friday which is no use, so I now need to call at 8am hoping to get an appointment on the day.

Just so frustrated, especially when part of my anxiety is about using the telephone so I've been sitting waiting for it to ring for about 3 weeks from occ health (who hadn't even been asked to contact me yet) and then waiting for GP to call.

Gahhh - anxiety levels been really high now for weeks but I need to get back or won't get paid and this is adding to it and feeling that work are frustrating my return now. I need to email back my boss after his Friday email to lay down some of this but wanted to confirm my sign-off at the same time so that's on hold now too.

Anyway, I know no-one on here can realistically help but I just needed to get it off my chest....

That's really shit, first of all because your work and the fact they have left your workload untouched. Then the GP not just taking a few minutes to call you. Mr G had a few issues with his sick lines... one he got 1 day instead of 3 weeks 🤦🏻‍♀️.

Hoping things settle for you x

Thanks Groovee, just feeling a bit shit now. I have no valid sick line and i'm now worse than I was a month ago. Can't settle to anything and just not achieving anything.

Hi @ElephantOfRisk
I've name changed but I'm regular poster here and remember your story. I work in this area.

Deep breath! If the thought of returning to work is sending you into a panic then you're not ready to return. Your anxiety re work is not yet under control and you must explain his to the GP. She very likely wants an appointment with you because she'll want to know what the plan is for your return and to make sure you're going to be adequately supported. I can't remember if your on meds but maybe you need some psychological therapies too if meds alone aren't working? Ask the GP

You must push for the Occ health review BEFORE any return plan is made. Occ health should then advise your manager on a VERY gradual return (6 weeks) starting on reduced hours AND reduced job tasks. You must be clear with Occ Health that if the old job is just thrown back at you in full it will be detrimental to your health. Make sure they are aware work is contributing to your mental health issues. Don't worry if you get upset on the call, they're used to that! Put the ball in their court to come up with a plan for managing your workload.

You should have weekly catch up with your manager during phased return to ensure you are coping.

It's it's taken at your pace you'll get there. You're a valuable and experienced member of staff and they want you back and want you healthy. it's just going to take a bit longer but you really need to feel better first.

Good luck

Sorry that should say valued member of staff. I've no idea of your monetary worth, you may also be valuable

Thanks arnicangel. My boss is leaving in a month and hasn't been great but more from an inexperienced/busy way than actually being deliberately obtuse. The last call I had was basically all about getting something in place that would be supportive and that I would be doing fresh work. I was genuinely in a decent place and whilst not excited to be going back, feeling okay and pretty positive. Then he threw in the curveball that saying the work that I have worried, stressed and which contributed to me being off hasn't been touched and whilst it would be allocated to my colleague, i'd be helping. That work and where it is at is the root of the guilt and negativity I was having and I had 6 counselling sessions that basically got into me understanding that I was ill and not my usual self etc. I've worked for 38 years and always had positive reviews etc. so I shouldn't feel guilty about it and it's not my problem to solve.

That issue really knocked me back and whilst I'm not scared of the GP call per se (previous calls have always been good), rationality doesn't always feature in anything and I'm quite angry to be in the position I am now in after all the work with counselling etc. I wanted to speak to Occ Health about it so they would put it straight rather than me, but here we are weeks later and i've not been able to speak to anyone.

I'm not on any medication and you are right, i'm not currently in a good position to be back. However, I need my salary to continue and I only have 6 weeks or so left of that. Boss mentioned in his last email that I have Group Income Protection but I really don't have any clue about what the policy is and don't feel like I'd qualify. I have no access to any company systems at the moment as my login stuff has all expired.

I didn't find occ health particularly useful last time. I felt she just wanted me to go on medication and then I'd be fine to return in a couple of weeks and was basically wanting to force me into calls with work that I just wasn't ready for them and I really didn't feel much support at all. Her report was ok though. I'm hoping I might get someone else this time.

Current problem is more that I feel constantly anxious on edge and I'd really gotten over being like that months ago, maybe I do need medication? Anyway, nice early start for me in the morning to call GP. Thanks for your help and kind words.

I'm medium valuable but not sure how valued...

I'm so sorry you've been set back elephant. It does sound really shit. I have no practical advice, but what arnica has said sounds spot on! You have to ensure that whatever they are proposing works for you, not just the company - and don't rush if you're not ready. Though having said that, I understand the worry about needing to keep money coming in. Good luck with the GP. And we're all here for the Railing...

You are definitely both a valued and valuable railer.

Wow elephant what a frustrating carry on. I hope your next manager is more capable than this one. I remember your story too. You always strike me as very capable and perceptive, (if it's anyhelp to hear that from a randomer on MN)

DS managed to get his second vaccine , six weeks after the first. He also had covid in March 2020 and he's young so very minimal risk, so if the Scottish vaccine registry can't get themselves organised to give him something to prove it between now and 30th I'll be pure raging, as the young people say.

elephant group income protection is a absolutely worth checking, think my friend had it and think they paid sick pay for several years for her, and it allowed her to retrain to something else that was better for her, very eventually.

And she was off for v similar reasons, you should ask occ health for details of the policy or who can provide them.

Thank you for that @riverrunning, it's something i didn't know i had but i don't don't know if i'm ill enough? Or what they would need etc. I agree it's worth looking into just so I know what I have, I either need to get details of who the HR contact for my team is or see if I can get a friend to do some digging for me. Occ health are an outside body in my company so they would be reliant on someone giving them the info also.

I definitely think I need to be doing something else but I'm just not seeing anything. I think i would cope okay with a job that was less complex and pressure but that's likely to mean a substantial salary cut which I understand but I'm going to need a while to adjust finances to do that. Given that from a team of 12, 5 people have left recently and i'm off sick then I think things need looked at. They are leaving some positions empty and are recruiting a couple of new staff who I've heard don't have any experience in this particular job, and now they'll need a new manager unless they just dump the team on someone else who is already overstretched.

And thank you folks for your kindness and support. I do appreciate it.

I actually got a laugh today from a Neil Oliver quote - "Nicola and the SNP couldn't be put in charge of the tombola at a village fete as they'd lose the money....and break the tombola"

Hey, @ElephantOfRisk sorry all is shite.

I’d advise trying medication and also more therapy if you can do it. Sounds like it’s too rough going to tough it out 💐

In non railing, I’ve had a super horrible day, but wore my lanyard into M&S at Stirling services and the boy behind the counter was so lovely, packed my bag for me and made me feel much less stressed about the whole mask/no mask thing. 😊

Sorry to hear about your horrible day @WouldBeGood but well done to the lad at the services!

I'm just going to wait and see what the Dr says re medication, it may or may not be the Dr i've spoken to before. I think they take turns to be the one picking up the on the day phone appointments.

@ElephantOfRisk sorry to hear you're having a tough time . Excellent advice from other posters, really hope OCC health get in touch soon.
I'm having to isolate for the 10 days as I have symptoms that are delta like and I work in a health care setting. Got that good news this afternoon from contact tracers, just glad I get paid for it.

Thanks @Ladylunchalot, I hope you feel better soon. very lucky to be in a job that pays sick leave though to be fair, that's a tupe'd benefit from a previous employer. Not all the people in my company have that or many other of the benefits I have.

An that sucks lady.

elephant- good luck finding out - your HR will have had other group income cases I expect. My friend got it exactly at the point the sick pay ended.

You'd think senior managers would look at the attrition rate from one thing and another and realise they have a big problem wouldn't you?

Your boss is bonkers - when I went back mine had done the work I flipped out over and they arranged for me to move to a less pressurised team that wasn't client facing.

I agree it's bonkers and whilst I don't want to talk specifics, the work I was doing was based on cases from Q3/4 last year so i think it's pointless to now report on that as it won't reflect current situation for that area. From what i had completed it was unlikely to be an unsatisfactory report (as far as I remember).

They've apparently abandoned the "new" procedure we had started to follow as it was unworkable. That process and the fact that no-one would take on board the feedback from the team that it was unworkable was a major source of the stress. Lots of extra workload but unlikely to achieve what it should and wasting time on stuff that made no sense. Officially it's now a hybrid process which reading between the lines is "we've gone back to doing what we used to but are trying to save face". I think it's no one person to blame or a unique situation. As usual, folk just being told to do more with less but it's broken me.

Having looked at the side effects of the medications they are likely to recommend, i'm hesitant as they are generally the symptoms that I currently have!

It's almost comic - the list of medicine side effects nearly always terrifies you if you read it especially as there is rarely anything properly quantitative listed with the side effect.

It's like i have a massive brick or a balloon filled with water and guilt and anxiety inside my chest. At the beginning, it was so big and heavy that it was pressing on my chest and heart and stomach and I couldn't breath or even swallow food. I got a bit emptier and lighter as the days went on and my head stopped having to worry about it all the time so I could sleep better and not have headaches and heart palpitations and gradually i started to feel more like me. Still a foggy head etc but physically better. Now the balloon has filled up a bit and is banging around and shouting remember me?

Have you went through the menopause @ElephantOfRisk? Don't answer if you don't want to or it's too personal.

Went through🙄 it's been a long day. Been through sounds better.