Drowning in a sea full of tiers

[Cismyfatarse]

Next thread. DD's birthday so can someone link.

I might even drive to a shop to buy them...

My supplies of dust are plentiful, mind you.. so i could make do

I'm going to go for a walk by myself, have offered dc to come with me but they don't want to. Dp and I have not been getting on last couple of days and the atmosphere is horrible. He's been really being tough on DS1 and I think it's uncalled for. I'm fed of him tbh, every couple of months this sort of thing seems flare up and I'm struggling to see whether we're done, there's no fun, care or love left in the relationship of its just the relentlessness of covid and lockdowns that's putting a huge strain on us. I have no clue if this is normal 'couple stuff' or more than that.

I fucking love dust! I know some people like to add stuff to it to enhance it, but for me, nothing beats good old unadulterated dust. (a bit of added cat fur is okay but I keep that for Friday night treat)

I might call it foraging and set up a fancy restaurant takeaway with my dust spoils

On a bed of actual soil with a garnish of dog hair.

Who needs these fancy foreign fruits and vegetables?

Groovee my daughter also hates her pronounced chin....I see nothing wrong with it, seeing as how it looks exactly like mine

Oh invisi, it's just too tough really. Most of my married/cohabiting friends are having issues at the moment and I'm not sure if it's a stage of relationship thing or lockdown or what. I've been through similar in the past but we are doing well through this.

All I can say is that maybe now isn't the time to make big decisions. I would maybe try to have some calm conversations about trying to be nice to each other at the moment even if it's just as friends rather than romantically for now and maybe reappraise things when restrictions are passed.

Or probably better posting in relationships for some better help.

@Invisimamma it must be really hard. I’m glad that I don’t live with DP, much as I live him, as it’s some space!

Being stuck in together must be very hard, and with DCs all the time. Don’t make big decisions just now, just try to take any time to yourself you can 💐

Thanks for the kind words, you're rights it's not the time to make any big decisions.

I just want this all to bloody end! Just booked a cheap UK holiday for July (with covid refund guarantee!) hopefully we can travel by then and it's something to look forward to.

All this talk of takeaway is making me want to order tonight, even though dinner is in the fridge.

Definitely not the time for big decisions. But I'm sure lockdown stress is having affects on lots of marriages.

I might just do the same with take-away tonight. It's just depressing that they could close them.

neighbours of mine have already split up, both self employed with businesses that can't really run. His closed completely and hers has no demand due to this, 2nd marriage for both, young kids involved but no joint kids. Too much stress, now she's worried she might lose her house. It's devastating really. For some splitting up might be the right thing, there are times that I think I should have split years ago but at others I'm glad we didn't. I do love him but i'm not in love. We share a lot of the same views and can still have a laugh. I'd 100% prioritise my (now adult) DC over him and I'm not sure that's right though. I think he needs me more than i need him tbh. But as I say, we are rubbing along perfectly nicely although I moan about him constantly :o He has many good qualities, I'm just not always sure that's enough. I'm not interested in anyone else though.

@Invisimamma order a takeaway of your choice and dream of better times

Much as I was distraught by my divorce I must say it does have some perks/ child free weekends and stuff and not the 24/7 togetherness I see others struggling with.

DH back from his walk. Says there were two police vans checking everyone parking at the lower carpark at Hillend - I can't even remember now if it's in Edinburgh or Mid Lothian. Irrelevant anyway as you're allowed to drive up to five miles for exercise.

It's just so infuriating. I'm pretty sure the high covid rates are not being caused by people going for walks outside, so why put police there ? Answer because it's a lot easier than going to a council estate in Glasgow to break up a house party in the middle of the night. I don't blame the police btw , hardly in their job description to stop a virus spreading.

I've followed a couple of stories over the weekend. The one where police entered a home in Aberdeen to break up a party that wasn't and ended up arresting 3 people for assault - video on youtube/media. There's to be an enquiry.

And the other where two women went on a distanced walk with a coffee and ended up encountering a large group of police - they thought they'd found a body or something, they ended up being charged, something about them "having a picnic"

They were not doing anything wrong in either scenario but still ended up in bother.

Not saying there will be many other stories from the police side of things but honestly what country have we become that this is the way things have gone?

The only real logic I can see for banning people from the hills is the risk of accidents and injuries that would risk the MRT getting called out and extra pressure on A&E

Waxonfeckoff you've summarised my feelings towards dp quite well there. I feel very similar. Although through into the mix not seeing eye to eye on parenting style, we can usually work through that because we get a break from the dc alone to remember why we're together and we do have a lot of fun as a couple, but for almost year now there's been no break at all (last time was Feb) and it's both draining and relentless and making us both resentful. I really do worry for people who are stuck in truly awful abusive relationships during this time.

We went sledging this morning and there was a police helicopter circling overhead. Presumably checking out how many people were there.
My son also had a snack while we were there, wonder if we'd be charged for having a picnic

Define 'picnic' and differentiate it from a packed lunch.

Picnic has to be communal and needs a blanket

Now that mine are adults, parenting style doesn't really come into it but I do get frustrated at his lack of engagement with them. I said a couple of weekends ago that I was timing dinner to fit in with the football that DS was watching and he said that he didn't realise DS had any interest in football. DS has been following a team for about 4 years and I got him related stuff for birthdays etc. Dh is very into sport and was disappointed when DSs really weren't

It's not that he isn't nice to them, just that he thinks saying hi to them if they are in the kitchen at the same time as he is is a relationship. It just frustrates me. he is on AntiDs now which did improve our relationship a lot but i think also seems to make him a bit distant - or I'm just making excuses. It's not up to me to make a relationship for him. There is a bit of banter between us all when we are all together, but he doesn't sem to manage anything when it's just him. He was a stay at home dad until they started school and has spent lots of time alone with them as they grew up, taking them away camping etc but I think he thinks his job is done. I'm fairly sure if he dies before me that DSs will still visit me but I really don't know if they will visit him if I'm not there which would be a shame - there is love there but no relationship.

I hope things improve for you.

But yes, I do feel for people stuck in an abusive relationship of any degree.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-derbyshire-55547302

Story of the 2 women

They video of Aberdeen is on various outlets.

Re holidays next year and zero Covid etc. Matt Hancock openly admitting now that annual and perhaps even bi-annual vaccination is highly likely to be necessary for at risk groups. Only reading the precis but looks like he is paving way to row back.

Surely once that sinks into the public consciousness all talk of futile suppression has to dissipate? Ditto compulsory vax and health passports. Still advocating mass testing etc but difficult to see how this works in a post vax environment - unless they adapt testing threshold substantially (Only reading the precis but looks like he is paving way to row back).

www.southwalesargus.co.uk/news/18997173.vaccinations-may-need-administered-every-6-months/

Also some hopeful news on treatment options.

Had a major blow up at DH and DD2 last night. Has cleared the air somewhat and reminded them to read the room before perpetually unleashing the not so endearing wind up humour. I badly need a walk on my own and a solo trip to the supermarket. It is still too slippy underfoot for me.

MN needs an edit button.

Off topic again! So please feel free to tell me to get lost! You lot are so friendly I feel like I’m asking my friends for advice!

Thoughts on online dating? And any recommendations of which sites. I want a relationship/future not a bit of fun.

I ventured into this maybe 5 years ago but it wasn’t for me. I’m not convinced it’s for me now either to be honest but the way things are I can’t see how it’s possible to meet anyone any other way.

Iv had counselling for lack of self esteem etc and in some ways I feel I could approach it in a more confident way this time and be more open to it. But part of me I guess is scared that if this doesn’t work then that’s it and I will be single forever.
I’m definitely scared of getting hurt or that no one will be interested. But maybe I need to go for it and at least say iv tried.