Starting Uni - The next chapter

[Groovee]

So results day is here and I knew it would happen but in just over 3 weeks Dd will be moving to Dundee.

Thought I would start a thread to get us through those moments that we as parents find hard.

My DS is also organised for next year at Aberdeen Uni - he's sharing with his best pal from home and 4 others in a student flat in Pittodrie Street. He was going to share with one of this year's flatmates and some girls from the flat next door, but he was appalled at the state of the private rental they went to see. I'm delighted as he gets another year of quite "supported" accomm, I don't think the real world is quite ready for him yet

Any hints and tips for first year at Aberdeen gratefully received! :)

Did he/you (but more importantly he ) enjoy the Offer Holders' Day, Wax ?

we both did pb . i loved just spending the day with him and it was a long day. He was a bit anxious as he felt like an interloper and that he was intruding in on people's space and that people were looking at him. I only saw one person (a very pretty young lady) actively looking though :o

We got a nice day for it and we walked out to the student village and back rather than wait for the bus. We had a wee while to wait on our train so had dinner before heading back. The village was very very quiet :)

Wax what did your DS think of the student village? My DS has enjoyed it there but he opted for the most expensive option (of course!) with en suite bedrooms. I had been keen for him to go into catered halls but the meals are served in the hub and on reflection he'd have missed most of them 😬. If your DS isn't so keen on the village, the private student flats at Pittodrie St are also en suite and are a bit cheaper.

The other advice he'd give is that the bus service between town and village is poor - quite unreliable and sporadic.

What other tips can we help you with?

Ds seems to have been happy with the (cheaper ) accommodation in Hector Boyce (Grant Court is similar). He did pay slightly more for 2 loos per flat of 5 rather than just the 1.

He likes his flat mates but has however got a bit pissed off at them for not keeping the communal areas clean and tidy () which is why he's gone for a 2 person flat next year, with someone he seems to have similar standards. But it has taught him negotiation skills

The other 4 in his flat went to Amsterdam for the weekend recently (he chose not to go as he wasn't keen on the activity they were planning ) and he spent the time in the empty flat giving it a deep clean so that it was spotless (I repeat: ) and complained that within an hour of them getting back it was a tip again now he knows how his parents feel

Thanks both. he said the village wasn't what he was expecting but he wasn't able to articulate what it was he was expecting and said he wasn't disappointed though. We didn't even look at the en-suite rooms as he felt it was a waste of money and he doesn't want to do catered as also thinks that's a waste of money. he can't however even slice cheese without cutting himself and burning a pan (I know that he doesn't need a pan to make a cheese sandwich, but he still manages to burn one anyway...)

he's not clean, tidy or organised though (some of that is dyspraxia related I think) so he will be a terrible flatmate I think from that point of view although he is lovely and non leery so that's a plus point. he can empty and fill a dishwasher but that is likely to be a redundant skill I think... :o

Honestly I thought they were a bit dark and depressing and expensive for what you are getting.

I've been looking at private too but I'm in a quandry really as I think the advantage of hillhead is that he will be will all first years and all at Uni and hopefully there will be a degree of matching happening whereas with private it's not so self contained.

My niece is in private halls in Glasgow attending college and has been really disappointed that her attempts to bond with her flatmates haven't worked. All her sharers are at different places doing different things and don't speak to each other. I wouldn't want that for DS.

He wouldn't be bothered about the bus as he likes to walk. We walked out and back when we viewed and it was a lovely walk but I did remind him that it wont always be nice and sunny :o He's thinking about maybe taking his bike up too which would be okay at hillhead but maybe not so much elsewhere.

He's still waiting on Dundee but really just so he knows if he has a 2nd choice to confirm. As his offer is conditional, he can submit an accommodation application, but can't book anything until his offer is confirmed.

He is also very easily led and when he drinks, he drinks fast and is a disagreeable drunk (get's argumentative after 2 ciders...). Not good.

I seem to recall someone on these threads that even if one of the private providers (I think it was Unite) promises that you'll be sharing with other 1st years, they lie aren't always able to follow through.

He's also hoping that some people from his year also go to Aberdeen and whilst it might not work out that they share, at least they'd likely be within strolling distance of each other. I pushed not sharing with people he already knows as an advantage as it would widen his circle since he would make new friends and so would his friends and that would be more people to meet and hopefully get on with.

The one person that ds knew (from playing rugby with him up to P7 - he'd even been to a few birthday parties at our place , before said friend got a scholarship to Glasgow Academy and ds got a placing request to the school that this friend should have gone to ) with whom he ended up sharing a flat (not that we knew he was going to Aberdeen ) is the one with whom he has least in common

Ds didn't have a single friend from school who went to Aberdeen - although his cousin was already up there (going into her final year) so he did have one friendly face

Dd went herself to uni. She was in a huge flat and has 4 very close friends now there. But she'll be sharing with 1 friend from her current flat.

H eknows some people who will be going into 2nd year as they were friends of DS1 and also in scouts with him so I think he's happy from that point of view. The ones I know are nice lads and DSs have a couple of them as friends on social media and say that they don't seem to have changed going by the occasional posts or things they are tagged in.

It does sound like your DS would get on fine with Hillhead, Wax. I hear you on the dinginess front but whenever I've visited DS the flats have felt buzzy and friendly.

Your DS will be far from worst on the domestic front, I can promise you! Mine has learnt to cook a couple of core meals but relies heavily on frozen things and a baking tray. He's untidy but very affable so hasn't fallen out with anyone over flat cleanliness! He'll do his bit when it's pointed out as he likes fairness...

That's reassuring Super . he has camped with scouts a lot but he does genuinely struggle with organising himself and he finds the cooking side of things quite difficult as he has motor difficulties and lack of confidence. We are going to work on a few simple things he can cook and about following instructions on things and about how to tell when food is off!

I think it was all very quiet and empty when we visited too which probably didn't help. He plays the guitar and bass and he's keen to take them with him and I think that's a good idea - he's not noisy as he plays with headphones on - i never hear him at all except when his tutor is here.

He is very into fairness - hence his interest in politics. :o

He has one question - what are they like for spiders and insects? He is very phobic and wont have dad, his brother or even (reluctantly) me to deal with them for him and he's scared that others will take the piss when they find out and leave spiders in his bed etc. :(

(Just had to email this to myself as MN keeps on eating the post when I try to post it from the app )

Don't think that there can be too many spiders - ds is also pretty phobic about them (ok with them outside but hates them anywhere close to him in a room - so, just as in your case, dh or I reluctantly in my case have to deal with them when he's here - I had to get rid of a large one on the wall of the stairs going up to his room just yesterday ).

If it's any reassurance, ds says he's unusual in doing any very basic cooking at all - most of the boys just buy ready meals and heat them up. There's a Lidl close by

You can also hire rooms (for free, I think - it was our niece who took us around) in the Hub if he wanted to use that for playing his guitar and bass.

I think it was probably just the time that you visited Hillhead that meant that it was quiet.

There's a student "parliament" (politics club?) that ds goes to occasionally (it usually conflicts with rugby training) which your ds would probably enjoy. I've had texts from ds asking about the living/minimum wage as he was about to have to talk "on behalf of the SNP" in favour of raising it to £10/hour (he'd already talked in favour of scrapping Trident, having been dumped in at the deep end), so he wanted to double check what the current rates were and the arguments for/against.

If your ds is used to walking, even in winter when the walk through the park (if it is still unlit) is not so nice (apparently it can get icy too), the walk via the road is not that much further

Thanks for all that info and your perseverance in posting it. He's quite shy but has as his personal target to get better at public speaking. He likes walking in most weathers and in the dark. He chucks his ipod in and walks for miles, its good for his mental health and is the only exercise he does. We walked round the road and back, we just strolled and it was under 20 minutes.

He is most definitely not a SNP fan, he's been a member of the Labour Party since he was 13 :) Likes a good argument though.

Good news on the spider situation though. At least I can mostly deal with them. On one memorable day I reverse parked into a space on the road and dealt with a spider by capturing it with a dustpan and brush and releasing it outside. Two major accomplishments in one day!

I know he's not an SNP fan - but ds says that the Labour "members" were supportive of what he said (both on Trident and the living/minimum wage apparently what I WhatsApped him was really helpful ) - and that the Conservative "members" were pretty demoralised by the time they got to the Raising the Minimum Wage vote

I use the "large glass and a piece of card" technique for dealing with spiders and then release them well outside the house

I'm a floating voter and currently floating down the river with no one to vote for... :o. Its just the idealism of youth and hopefully they both grow up to take a pragmatic view and realise that things are seldom black or white. The biggest privilege is the ability to voice your views and argue the toss about which shade of grey is the best.

Indeed - and I say that as a former and possibly future Labour voter

Ds started a discussion with me assuming I'd disagree and was surprised when I agreed there should be a threshold for a future Indyref - but warned him that it shouldn't be based on a proportion of the electorate as that can be gamed (as it was in 1979 when ironically I'd have voted No ) and instead people should be encouraged to engage.

I've been on a nostalgia trip, having been presented by my mother with a box from the loft filled with the contents of my teenage desk...took me right back to when I was a flakey teen. Old homework diaries, past papers ( csys were bloody hard!) And my old CND membership cards! I never got round to joining the Labour party but I did go to a Red Wedge gig at the Albert Hall in Stirling, I loved Billy Bragg. I have no idea who to vote for these days...I have issues with everyone's policies. DS says he's a Liberal Democrat, typical of him to choose the uncool option!

I found an old box of letters that I'd received when I was at Uni and during my year in France. It's amazing what good letter writers we were - the boys as well as the girls . Plus letters from my mum (which were quite poignant to read) and dad.

It was quite funny reading different accounts sent to me in France of big parties/piss-ups and the "gossip" from different perspectives

I do hope ds is making as good a circle of friends.

I've got lots of letters and postcards, sometimes even relatively brief encounters led to letters and postcards for years! DS3 was amazed that we all wrote so much, I must admit to finding it a bit too cringy to read old love letters though, even though I cant bear to throw them out.

Wax - spoke with ds last night about accommodation.

He said that the reason that Hillhead was quiet on the Offer Holders Day was because it is was a Wednesday, which is the day after Tuesday No lectures on a Wednesday, so a lot of people will have been sleeping off hangovers (He only happened to venture out as it was his turn to clean the flat and he took some rubbish to the bins). He said that normally there is a proper buzz about the place.

He said he was going to give the same advice that his cousin had given us cos she was right : Grant Court (the two bathroom flats) and Hector Boece (all have two bathrooms) are the best value flats - and he doesn't think that they are particularly dark.

One of his flat mates is 6'6" and copes with the beds (cos I mentioned that one of the advantages of New Carnegie is the 3/4 double beds) but he mentioned that it is possible to get a small pouffe/cushion/chair thing the same height as the bed and squeeze it in between the bed and the wardrobe to "extend" the bed.

He also said that if you don't get on with your flat mates, it doesn't cost much to change flats - although you should find someone to swap with first. Quite a few people do move flats. Most people who choose to do so, do it at Christmas although he knows of one person who did it 3 times in the 1st semester

He said if your ds wanted a "fun" drinking flat, the 10 person Adam Court flats were probably the best - but I said that I didn't think your ds was into drinking.

He advised against North or South Courts.

No particular spider or insect issues

I do hope that he gets the results to go there.

That's brilliant pb thank you and thanks to pbjunior too. I don't think he'd particularly object to a drinking flat but he'd be better away from it. He wouldn't initiate anything but he is easily led :o The advantage of him driving is that it makes him not drink but he wont have the car at uni.

It's his only offer so he'll need to meet the offer criteria. I suspect he may not get too much choice on accommodation as he'll not be able to firm his request until August (if he gets the results).

Good news on the insect front too! :)

He says the bed should be fine when he's not sharing it with the cat!

It's getting quite exciting now and we have a hospital appointment re his potential dyspraxia soon so hopefully we'll be able to move forward with all that too.

DS1 has now officially confirmed that he has no exams so he's done now till September.