Starting Uni - The next chapter

[Groovee]

So results day is here and I knew it would happen but in just over 3 weeks Dd will be moving to Dundee.

Thought I would start a thread to get us through those moments that we as parents find hard.

Superjaggy

I think I'm going to rope my niece (going into her 4th year at Aberdeen) and her mum (his favourite Aunt) into checking things out with him.

Got a massive strop with him last night when I gently suggested that it might be worth having a look at his budget and being aware of how much he will have available per week to spend

But he still wants to arrange a time next week for me to go out with him to buy clothes and stuff for him

Oh @prettybird he's in for a sharp shock soon isn't he?

Dd bought a black card for Dundee. She taught drama at a holiday club and one of the staff at the club is at Dundee so have her some pointers. Black card was one.

My niece has got into New Carnegie Court.

Ds is on some kind of group with his flat mates. He’s also on a group chat with students on his course. So far he seems to be concentrating on the social aspect of uni life. I don’t think he realises he is actually going to study something..

This is making me so nostalgic (I went to Dundee and still live nearby) and dreading DD getting older and buggering off somewhere

They'll probably be on the same group for their course Haggisaggis

Chat group I mean

DS has just found out his roommate is Welsh, proper welsh speaking Welsh! For some reason that seems surprising, we were expecting Scottish, English or American and had forgotten about the other home nations! He's been put in room one on the ground floor, hoping that doesn't mean he's right by the front door with everyone traipsing past but at least we won't have to lug his stuff too far and he can be first in the breakfast queue.

Dd has 2 girls in her flat who live up the hill from the flat 😂 Dd suggested they roll their stuff down to the flat after Nando's. One from Edinburgh, 2 from Glasgow and one from Stafford. So her friend's room who has now declined her place is still free.

my DD doesn't appear to be engaging in chat stuff for either her course or her accommodation... i try to leave her to it as much as possible but it is slightly driving me nuts hearing of everyone else's kids finding out all these details

she's working extra hours this week so might try and push her next week!

Glad I'm not the only one being driven mad Sturm

Dh has now got his niece onto the case to prod ask him gently

We think he has now done the paperwork to pay his rent monthly. He doesn't seem to realise that that has a major impact on our own finances He thinks it's just us nagging.

3 times I have emailed and sent Dd texts with the uploads of dh's p60 and mine. SAAS keep asking for them again! Is this normal?

Have you sat over her while she uploaded them? Dh made ds sign in and then uploaded them himself. He had 6 documents to upload (complicated financial situation ) plus a covering letter, but the system only allowed 6 documents to be uploaded. He was able to put enough information into the "Comments" box - and rang the following day to check that they were happy with the information - which they were.

We didn't have to do anything about uploading, would that would be because our income is over the threashold? I get that it means that we are supposed to be financially supporting DS which we are and it's fine. However, I understand that they take no account of the fact that this time next year it's possible that we will have 2 at Uni and that will be the case for 3 years out of 5 (2 x 4 year degrees with a one year overlap). We are not even high earners, DH earns less (NHS) than he could get working in a call centre but loves his job, DSs will be the first in the family to go to Uni from school. Not that I want them to build up any debt unless they have to and we are using our savings (our only savings after pensions) to support them, but it is a bit gutting that if we didn't have that, they wouldn't get access to enough money to borrow to support themselves without needing to work or us remortgaging our house.

Because I was off sick last year, this year Dd can have a bursary. So maybe that's why. My new hours means she'll get nothing for a bursary from now on. Dh is due a wage increase as well so it will be bare minimum from next year.

We had/have a similar situation with a wildly varying income between the years (because of one contract coming to an end and a long gap with no income coming in) - hence the need to upload so much.

They're very helpful over the phone - try calling them.

I'm not complaining that we are expected to support DS1 as we would do anyway, however it's not ideal that they don't consider disposable income and we will be expected to provide exactly the same support at the same time to DS2, which again we will. Some DC will be expected to get support from parents to bring them up to the same level, but those parents may be unwilling or unable to support them. At the end of the day, the money has to be paid back so there should be a bit more flexibility in how much they are able to borrow even if the extra then attracts a higher interest rate or different payment plan.

Wax we will be in a similar position re parental support with our 2. It wouldn't be so bad if people were aware of how much they needed to have set aside. I analyse financial planning for fun (not in any way normal) and even I was struggling to find the information and work out the best strategy.

English system is no better as they don't even have an explicit expectation of parental support and the minimum loan is even lower than ours - this came as a bit of a shock to an English accountant friend of ours who has 4 DC at steps and stones and a SE England size mortgage.

My situation may resolve itself anyway howabout as DS2s current plan is to become a barman....

@prettybird I told Dd about your ds wantingyou to take him shopping for studenty clothes. She's asked if I am taking her. She got the look as if there's one thing she doesn't need is bloody clothes!

I bought DS extra jeans as he only had one pair that fitted as he generally lives in shorts and t-shirts all year round. I'm presuming jeans and t-shirt and hoody (of which he has plenty) will be "studenty"? He is doing Computing so I am not expecting it to be much of a fashion show. :o

He needs new trainers though.

Groovee - he just wants my credit card!

He wants to buy some more jeans (I think) and some more basketball type shorts (he has a hand-me down pair from somoeone at the rugby club that he's living in at the moment) as he says that they are so comfy. Unfortunately that means going in to Sports Direct

He's also wanting a new rucksack/backpack.

I got DS1 a new back pack as part of his birthday. It was quite an expensive one but as he is travelling every day and may have a laptop to carry, i thought it was worth it. He generally takes really good care of his things so was still using tyhe one I bought him from High SChool and it was still in decent nick but new one has more padded bit and soft lined pockets for tablets and phones etc he favours jersey shorts from H&M of which he has many pairs but they are really cheap. I hust recently binned an age 12/13 pair that DS2 was still wearing and he'd had them since he was 10! They cost me £1.99. He claimed they still fitted but they were indecent a bit snug.

Bit of a lack of full stops there, but I think you can get the gist... :o

To be fair despite what dh thinks ds is pretty low maintenance: not label obsessed except for rugby boots and running shoes and happy to buy from H&M, Sports Direct, Tesco and TK Maxx (which we usually visit first to see if there are any bargains).