Starting Uni - The next chapter

[Groovee]

So results day is here and I knew it would happen but in just over 3 weeks Dd will be moving to Dundee.

Thought I would start a thread to get us through those moments that we as parents find hard.

Dd1 starts freshers week on Monday, I'm struggling to persuade her to go to stuff rather than just hanging out with her boyfriend. I really want her to make friends as she was fairly isolated at school, and fell out with her local friends. But she's just not a very outgoing personality, and a real homebody, which is why she's staying home this year, she could only think of one person she'd want to share a flat with

She'll be fine

She'll find her own "tribe". Being amongst people with the same passion for the subject will help.

She'll be fine . She's already two up on DS since she has a boyfriend and 1 person she'd like to share with

DS2s shared room is one of the smaller rooms, he's going to get to know his roommate extremely well! Their beds are only about 2' apart if that. His roommate has exactly the same sensible backpack as DS2 so I'm taking that as a sign they've been well matched... we'll see...
I managed not to blub, got it out of my system on a trip to see Mama Mia II with my friends on Wednesday. I undoubtedly will have a wee greet or two over the next few days though.

Greeting is fine, if not expected! I was speaking to my. Dad this week and he remembered well leaving me in my digs (didn't get into halls) and leaving, WITHOUT advising me what to do that evening! And I sat on my own and then made myself go out and made lifelong friends! Life in digs was hard but I made friends with home students and other "diggers" and it was great. Just reassured me actually about dd being a home student!

Dundee students union (DUSA ) FREE Late night bus home

www.dusa.co.uk/advice/safety/

Also note taxi info

You've got a good dad weegiemum

Dd has used the bus already in the last week.

Good for her Groovee, sounds like she’s organised.

Also it’s one less thing for you to worry about .

Hope she enjoyed freshers week and the sports fair and signed up for lots of tasters.

Good luck to her and all the others starting classes this week .

Good luck to everyone bringing their DCs to uni this weekend!

Greeting is definitely in order, although I didn't blub on the day itself, I lost it watching the Christopher Robin movie the next day 😬

That would set me off too.
I have had a couple of replys to quick texts but DS is v succinct in his texts, difficult to read much into " fine". I think I'll get DH or his brother to alternate with some hobby chat so that I'm not being a "smother". DS2 is a bit of an unusual case, his ASD makes him vulnerable in some ways but also resilient in others, he can manage with only his own company and has low expectations socially and is generally quite stoical; however I want him to practice having fun and I'm also so used to being his scaffolding, stepping back is going to be hard to get used to.

The closest I came to greeting was as we were leaving Hillhead after decanting ds. I really really wanted to talk to my mum about she had felt after they'd deposited me at St Andrews almost 40 years ago.

It's times like this (both the organising in the run up to ds going and the "empty nest" afterwards) that I really miss not being able to talk to my mum and to share the experience.

Sorry, that sounds terribly self-centred and all about me The fact that ds had the confidence to go away to Uni and to look forward to it is due in part to the way that dh and I (but mostly me as dh stayed at home in the Glasgow tradition) have encouraged him from an early age. And that came in turn came from my mum and dad.

I still miss her.

Sorry to bring the tone of the thread down

On a more positive note, after being disappointed with the rugby trials (not because he didn't play well - he scored a try - but because the rest both Freshers and observers seemed both arrogant and not to take their rugby seriously we had tried to warn him about Uni rugby but he thought it would be like the US - he's now going to investigate the Aberdeen U18 team and the local senior team) he's been having a good time with parties and last night used the Domino's voucher they'd been given (that expired last night) to go out with his flat mates, rather than go to a Beach BBQ run by the Marine Society with his cousin.

I know how you feel Pb. My mum only died 5 months ago and we've already had DS1 passing his driving test, leaving school, all dressed up for his prom, his 18th birthday, my birthday, ds2s first driving lesson and birthday, her birthday and my mum and dads wedding anniversary and now ds1 starting uni. The need to pick up the phone and speak to her is stronger every day.

PB I felt completely lost as we drove back from Dundee. There had been a big build up the 3 weeks then suddenly I just felt deflated. I've not really picked myself up all way.

Dd is asleep in her brother's bed and won't give anyone a time that she plans to go back to Dundee.

It doesn’t sound self indulgent at all, all these little losses ( child moving out ) bring back all these bigger ones ( like losing your mum ).

Of course you want her to be there to share the good times and console you in the bad.

I’m sure your mothers would have been very proud of their grandchildren . And you for not greeting in public

Prettybird, my neighbours son has just started at Aberdeen, he has a Scotland under 18 cap, so takes his rugby v seriously and he has decided to skip the uni team and is going to try for Aberdeen grammar team apparently ( whatever that is!). I think he is going to play seniors but he is 6'5"!

for anyone missing their mums, it does mean such a lot having someone else who is happy to hear all the details of our DCs lives. Saying that my mother is abroad at the moment, pursuing one of the hobbies she took up when her nest emptied, she's been doing them for longer than we were at home now!

wigglybeezer
Did you buy your DS the red gown? My DS wasn't bothered, but messaged me this morning telling me he needs one. He's not a "joiner", so keen to encourage participation, but..
Your mother sounds very similar to mine too!

Lots of hugs to all you having kids taking the next big step of their life.
We will not have this till next year!

That's good to know wigglybeezer

Ds can still play U18 rugby so is going to go along to Granite City (the combined Aberdeen Grammar and Aberdeen Wanderers U18 team) to give that a go.

He's also considering trying for the Senior Team at Aberdeen Grammar once he's turned 18 (tomorrow ). Aberdeen Wanderers apparently play in too low a league

He's a scrum half so not big! but he is very fast and very loud on the rugby pitch

Dd is heading bank to uni with a banana cake and muffins from the bananas she brought back on Friday and an apple crumble. The in laws are taking her up so granny can see her flat.

Ready to have my tidy house back, she makes such a mess!

We ordered a gown at the last minute from Churchill Gowns, £50 cheaper than uni shop, DD also texted about his gown this am, I may have to drive over with it when it turns up...
Good luck to your DS with the try outs Prettybird.

Dropped DD1 off yesterday- was really tough leaving her as DD2 broke down and set us all off!! Not heard from DD1 but she has messaged DD2 twice. I was going to wait for her to contact me but finding it tough not hearing from her. Prior to going she was worried contact would make her homesick but I did say she could contact us whenever. What do you advise?!

Send a wee message tonight on snap chat / WhatsApp/ however you usually contact her.

Something neutral like “ hope you got settled in ok “ etc.

Don’t phone. Yet.

No contact is usually good as it means she’s busy .

DD had a bit of a wobble yesterday as we were leaving and ended up coming and finding us an hour later for lunch but was happier when she headed back to halls and shifted into ignore-mode. i messaged her about 1 today to ask if she'd met all her flatmates yet (which was not the best idea as her father is unamused that she is actually sharing with three boys ) but not sure what to suggest if your DD1 wasn't sure about contact...

I'd just drop a text asking how she is x