Merry Christmas to all other SAHP's

[yorkshirepudsx]

Hi all!!

With Christmas fast approaching I just wanted to take the time to say Merry Christmas!

As we all know - we don't get the Christmas party's, the bonuses or gifts from bosses. We don't get to dress up and go all out feeling our best.
For us, the work actually increases over the festive period and more often than not, we end up burnt out!
I've been so stressed working out how we're going to afford XYZ, if my little one is going to be happy with his gifts (which I know he will, but I'd give him the world if I could!)
Then of course, organising Christmas Day & Christmas dinner for my little family + 8 guests, I don't have enough seats or plates🤭 then the wrapping, my GOD the wrapping!!! 🤯🤯🤯

So I'm just here to say - I feel you, I see you! And I know things may seem like a huge marathon, all just for one day! - But please let yourself have a merry little Christmas too! Whether it's a short but sweet 5 minute bath with a crappy bath bomb, or a sneaky half glass of wine once the kids are in bed 🤗
We get so caught up in the worries and stress of it all, so don't forget to give yourself some time this year, even if it's just 5 mins! Or let yourself eat that box of chocolates whilst you hide from the kids 🙈
I hope you all have a lovely Christmas and best wishes for the new year❤️❤️❤️

You do realise that most workers don’t get a Christmas party, bonus or gift from their boss?? I bloody don’t 🤐🤐

oh dear

I really don't understand this sentiment at all. I was a SAHM for about 12 years and they were the best and most fun days of my life.

I went to more Christmas events and parties than I could now I'm working, and I could dress up whenever I wanted. Sure there was no monetary bonus but there isn't in most jobs

You do realise that people who work also organise Christmas?

Ignore the other posts. There are some people on here who go out of their way to be negative.

I'm a SAHM and love this 😊 thank you!
Have a wonderful Christmas xxx

Another SAHP here, thank you for this.

I do love the Xmas prep but I've been very sick the past 2 weeks so am massively behind.

I'm also lucky I have an amazing husband who is giving me as much time as I need without the kids to get things done and enjoy myself.

Why are you shouldering the whole burden of Christmas when there's another adult in your house?

My DH is the SAHP in our family and he's only doing half of the load you describe, because, shock horror, it's my family too!

I have been a SAHM long enough that the child is now an adult. Whilst I appreciate the sentiment of the post and it is true we don't get Christmas parties I have never felt that everything Christmas is solely my responsibility.

Dh has been part of the process from choosing toys and gifts together, setting aside time to meal plan, wrap presents together etc. My work load increases but so does his.

One of the best things I ever did was a shared spreadsheet for Christmas meals, then a corresponding spreadsheet for food shopping including what we can buy ahead so that the actual Christmas food shop feels far less daunting. We also have a shared spreadsheet with gift ideas for everyone and once they are bought then the box is highlighted to make it clear where we are up to.

Merry Christmas to all the other SAHMs.

I dont know why but there's a crowd of people on mumsnet who love to come and shit on sahm posts. And it was such a lovely supporting message!

I'm part time working now but remember The Slog well when there was no break from children at all!

Yes I agree completely about the need for a break even if its 5 mins! (And no this thread doesn't need people coming in complaining about working - it's a thread for encouraging sahm as evidenced by the title!)

I never wanted to be a SAHM, but threads like this make me feel for the ones that are! Why is a crappy bath bomb and half a glass of wine the only thanks and 'treat' you're allowed?

Know your worth. If it feels that has been diminished due to not earning an income, rectify that situation.

Weird post.

Surely SAHMs have MORE time, not less, to
organise Christmas?

I work weekends so no garden centre Santa trips with my children or Christmas markets. I’ve done all my shopping online and haven’t had a chance to even open half the deliveries. I can’t remember the last time I had time for a bath. The only two days off I have over the period is Christmas Day and Boxing Day and it’s the first time in three years I’ve had those days off.

I get what you were trying to do here but it’s completely tone deaf. You absolutely do not have it harder than a mother working a 50 hour week, sorry but you just don’t.

There's nothing to stop you 'getting dressed up and going all out' if that's what you want to do. Who do you think does the wrapping 'my GOD the WRAPPING' for working women?

Why do you imagine any of this this is easier for working parents?

If you're worried about affording XYZ and your child is old enough to care what they get for Christmas - maybe get a job and wrap presents at night like the rest of us.

I've been a SAHP and I've been a working parent and I can tell you doing one thing is easier than constantly being expected to excel at two things at once.

Also this is exactly the kind of post that creates the ridiculous divide between SAHM/WOHM which I didn’t even know existed before I had my kids and joined MN (like 20 years ago). It’s bonkers.

Life is hard with kids. It just is. Get over yourself though and be grateful that you can afford/are able to stay at home with them. Don’t be a martyr. And ffs get your husband to do his share.

Oĥ ffs why do people need to come and plop on sahm?!

If they're not working then their world is revolving around the kids they have 24/7 so natural to talk about prep for Christmas. I was there for a good few years. Let them have 1 thread without coming on and bashing (be like people going onto the music parents thread and talking about dancing rehearsals or soemthing) .

I'm not a SAHM but I hope you have a lovely Christmas, and all the other SAHPs too x

No one’s plopping.

But the whole post is about how much harder it is to be a SAHM than working parent at Christmas. Which is a fucking joke.

OP seems to have one small child and can’t find the time for a bath or a thimble of wine. Time to wake up. Try having three kids; a full time job, aging parents and no money.

<nerve hit>

I enjoyed Xmas far more as a SAHM when my children were babies/toddlers. Making Xmas crafts with them, and going to all their cute toddler activities dressed in xmassy stuff... Now I work full time, and the pressure and stress, and constant forgetting which day the school party/nativity/teacher gifts/cards have to be in, plus working flat out, and no days to actually do any Xmas shopping... It's pure hell. And my DH does his fair share. We were both up working late last night, and then attempting to wrap presents until 2am, as between now and Xmas, we don't have any other time to do anything!

I get what you were trying to do here but it’s completely tone deaf.
It really isn't, this is the SAHP topic,in the words of MNHQ it's 'A place for stay at home mums and dads to discuss life as a full-time parent.' It's not AIBU, if it hits a nerve hide the topic.

OP give yourself a break. I'm a SAHM and I absolutely do give myself a Christmas bonus and a night out!

No one would be 'plopping' on a post that talked about all the pressures on parents of small children prior to Christmas. But she is talking about SAHP as though fairies appear and do this work in every other household.

I'm also still waiting for the Christmas bonus and the apparent slow down of work in December she talked about.

1. this is on the SAHP topic not AIBU
2. no where did OP say that working parents have it easy or in any way compare to working parents.

FFS people, let the SAHP have a voice now and again. It isn't a race to the bottom or an invitation to shit on us from on high.

I've been a working parent, I've been a SAHP both have their pros and cons, both have their challenges.

Absolutely Twizbe.

Why can't sahp wish each other a merry Christmas and encourage a break in it all? Good luck with it all OP if you're still here .

*As we all know - we don't get the Christmas party's, the bonuses or gifts from bosses. We don't get to dress up and go all out feeling our best.

For us, the work actually increases over the festive period and more often than not, we end up burnt out!*

This is what stung. And it came up in active convos, I didn’t even look at the topic. This whole two paragraphs is either ignorant or spiteful.