Merry Christmas to all other SAHP's

[yorkshirepudsx]

Hi all!!

With Christmas fast approaching I just wanted to take the time to say Merry Christmas!

As we all know - we don't get the Christmas party's, the bonuses or gifts from bosses. We don't get to dress up and go all out feeling our best.
For us, the work actually increases over the festive period and more often than not, we end up burnt out!
I've been so stressed working out how we're going to afford XYZ, if my little one is going to be happy with his gifts (which I know he will, but I'd give him the world if I could!)
Then of course, organising Christmas Day & Christmas dinner for my little family + 8 guests, I don't have enough seats or plates🤭 then the wrapping, my GOD the wrapping!!! 🤯🤯🤯

So I'm just here to say - I feel you, I see you! And I know things may seem like a huge marathon, all just for one day! - But please let yourself have a merry little Christmas too! Whether it's a short but sweet 5 minute bath with a crappy bath bomb, or a sneaky half glass of wine once the kids are in bed 🤗
We get so caught up in the worries and stress of it all, so don't forget to give yourself some time this year, even if it's just 5 mins! Or let yourself eat that box of chocolates whilst you hide from the kids 🙈
I hope you all have a lovely Christmas and best wishes for the new year❤️❤️❤️

Thank you, I shouldn't have posted it really I think many others are missing my sentiment, I've been a working parent and now stay at home parent, I just sometimes miss the little things about being a working parent, the colleague banter and silly secret Santa and things like that.

I apologise again if I've caused any upset, wasn't a bash at working parents just trying to uplift and bring the Christmas spirit to the SAHP board.

I'm a sahm too, merry Christmas op 🎄

Merry Christmas 🥰

Merry Xmas to you SAHPs.

I knew you'd get pissy responses.

I work part time NHS. it's not a race to the bottom! I don't know why this always happens 🤷🏻‍♀️

Good wishes are not limited - we can all be happy for other people!

It's been a hard year for lots of people in so many ways. How anyone can begrudge good will is beyond me!

I hope all SAHPs do get a break! Merry Xmas all of you 🤶

I hope you have a lovely Christmas!! And from an ex NHS worker to a current NHS worker, I salute you! It's not easy & from what I can gather it's getting tough! Sending best wishes ❤️

As we all know - we don't get the Christmas party's, the bonuses or gifts from bosses. We don't get to dress up and go all out feeling our best.
For us, the work actually increases over the festive period and more often than not, we end up burnt out!

I'm a nanny and same

Why have you caused upset ?
Stay at home mums make a choice and it shouldn't be frowned on
I've done both before now and it's hard with kids at any age.

Because why is it not a supporting post for all mothers, not just SAHMs? We are all planning and organising Christmas, we are all burning out, we are all hoping to give our DCs every they want and hoping they have a great Christmas.

Some of us are doing all this on top of employment too.

Everybody is getting really upset with me, I think they've read into it and taken it all wrong, which isn't what I intended, thank you for seeing my sentiment xx

I know you've apologised OP and I get what you were trying to do.

But when I saw it this morning on Active conversations, I must admit I thought you were bonkers and also not understanding (I see you have been a working parent too now , so I think you probably do see how it was a misjudged post.

I'm a working parent as is DH. Both very stressful jobs. No Xmas party here, no bonus, not even an Xmas card! We both cover the Xmas prep but it's still bloody tough to juggle present buying, wrapping, food shops, booking Xmas events and juggling work alongside trying to attend nativity plays or carol concerts at school. Tbh I can't understand how it is stressful if you have all day everyday to plan it (but then, other than mat leave I've never been SAHP so maybe it is still v v hard?) and can do the odd shopping or wrapping here and there during the day? You must have more time than a working parent!?

It's a controversial subject on mumsnet I'm afraid

It’s only controversial when people post stupid stuff about SAHMs having it harder, and particularly this time of year when pretty much every parent is stressed.

I just find it very overwhelming at the moment (as we all do!) - I can't drive and we've moved quite a way from anywhere (one of the reasons we decided to have me as stay at home parent - the cost of childcare and transport outweighed my earnings), so the times I have been out to Christmas shop etc, it's taken hours. I just never expected being a stay at home parent to be this full on, I was so excited when we made the decision, but I just don't find the time for a lot of things with the 2 little ones and the house to keep on top of, I just miss working sometimes, the house would be the same as I left it when I got home from work, having adult conversations etc etc.

I know both working and not working is hard and both have their pro's & cons, I guess my post was just because I'm missing the pros of working and I just feeling like I'm drowning in everything at the min.

Again, I apologise if this came across as though I was disregarding the hard work of being a working parent, it wasn't my intention, just posted on the Stay at home parent board to offer encouragement and a little understanding to any others feeling the same x

Fleeceduvet - in no way was this about us having it harder etc, it was about the little things I miss about working around the festive period! I posted it to the SAHP board to offer best wishes and understanding to any other SAHP's feeling the stress.
There's pro's and cons to both working and staying at home, I've experienced both sides and I'm not putting either side down, just wanted to discuss it with other SAHP's, to feel a bit understood.

For us, the work actually increases over the festive period and more often than not, we end up burnt out!

What are you doing over Christmas that working mothers aren't?

I think this is a brilliant post. Thank you very much. I am back at work now, but I do remember this:

when I was a SAHP, I booked myself in for a Christmas lunch with my toddler at Carluccio’s, because that was the thing I missed about work - a standard Christmas lunch. And I considered DS to be a sort of collleague in that context.

DS went berserk and so I had to leave the restaurant without eating very much. On the bus journey home, I hadn’t noticed that my bum kept on pressing the ‘stop’ button, and the driver came out from behind the wheel to demonstrate to me and rest of the bus, how annoying it was that my bum kept on making the bell go ‘ting’. When we got home, I put the wrong Ella pouch in the microwave, and it set it on fire.

Unperterbed, I booked one at Cote. Just after I had ordered, and the starter had arrived, DS vomited. I paid and left.

It felt quite pathetic, really, to have wanted someone to cook me a turkey dinner. It was pathetic, I suppose, but I seemed to have so little relevance to anybody at that time, that it felt worth trying to achieve. A small reward to myself.

Happy Christmas, OP!

Erm; I do all of that plus run my own business solo so no Christmas party/bonus/presents for me 🤣

Thank you for your post OP. I hear you. Happy Christmas 🎄

What?? Lol.

If there was ever a thread that screamed insecurity and not being happy with their lot.

If you don’t like it, change it. Good luck with that. You’ll have to change your mindset and learn to appreciate your self worth in order to achieve any meaningful change.

I do everything a SAHP does, but I also earn my own money working PT. I’ve always worked in the Public Sector, so have always had to pay for my own work Christmas meal and drinks and I’ve never had a bonus. I’m no martyr and it would not occur to me to create a thread whining about it on SM and celebrating with a crappy bath bomb and a poultry (likely to be cheap) half a glass of wine.

I do get what you were trying to do.

It was the phrasing about ‘for us the work actually increases’ that grated more than anything. You surely can’t think the opposite happens for those who are working?

You may not have meant it that way but that’s how it reads.

Anyway. Is there any real reason you can’t get dressed up and go out? Or have more than a quick bath or half a glass of wine? Are you martyring yourself a bit?

Also, try to think of the positives. You get to see Christmas through your children’s eyes, you can attend nativities and get involved with school/nursery activities. Take the kids to see Father Christmas. Take them out to play in the snow. I’ve missed all these things for many years. Hence my prickliness.

Merry Christmas. I hope you can enjoy it.

I used to work in an industry where we had massive Xmas parties. They were a huge highlight and people got seriously dressed up for them.

It was also bonus time at Xmas so I'd get a nice little Xmas present from work.

Then there were the secret santas, team lunches, easy work days over Xmas where we did sweet FA but got paid for it.

I don't get that now.

I have also never been a working parent at Xmas as I was either on maternity leave or had left work.

Now I don't get any of those fun events and instead I get to ferry the kids round to all their events lol.

Happy Christmas OP :)

I feel you soooo much with this!! The bud thing has happened to me 🤣🤣

I took my little ones just for a festive lunch a couple of weeks ago, I too wanted somebody to cook for me, it ended in chaos, youngest decided it was the perfect time to do a leaky poo and stunk the place out and the eldest had a full blown tantrum 🙈 I ate as fast as I could and made a swift exit, only to return 20 mins later for the youngest's monkey teddy 🙈

I should have phrased it a lot better!! Christmas is absolute chaos for everybody with little ones & big ones! And the fat man in the red suit gets credit every year!🤣

I hope you have a lovely Christmas, xx

I miss the Christmas parties so soooo much, just the silliness and how bizarre people could end up🙈 and all the little things too! Especially the secret Santa!!

I miss the festivities from working, I remember years and years ago I worked in retail and at the time I hated it - but looking back, I loved it! Especially every little conversation I had with every customer about Christmas!

I hope you have a lovely Christmas!❤️❤️

I’m no martyr and it would not occur to me to create a thread whining about it on SM and celebrating with a crappy bath bomb and a poultry (likely to be cheap) half a glass of wine.

this is just bitchy and unnecessary.