Is being a SAHP really mind numbing?!

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I was reading another thread here in MN that said this. It caught my eye and definitely it's not the first time I heard it. It seems to be a common thing to say.

I am a SAHM and mind numbing is the last adjective I would use to describe it!! Am I the only one?!

I am exhausted! Tired! Annoyed at times! I have no time for myself, I poop with the door open! I have little chance to pursue hobbies or go to the gym. But mind numb?! No. My toddlers keep on my toes. They change interests and development every few months. They are loving and easy to make laugh. They have the ability to make ME laugh which isn't super easy...

Most jobs became very routine. You have do the same boring tasks and deal with the same people every day.

What I mean is, there are downsides to SAHP but why pick this one?!

I agree with those who say it's not that it's boring, it's just not always very intellectually stimulating.

OP what does it matter what some may think of being a SAHP? You enjoy it and that should be enough. Don't ever get about what others think and do what you enjoy and is right for your family. And that comes from a woman that has always worked. That's the point of the sisterhood, I will always back up what my fellow women want to do no matter what.

Mind numbing for me.

Endless repetitive tasks, every day much the same as the day before. Facilitating everyone else's life but not mine. Even with a small business, friends, volunteer activity and hobbies such as sewing etc, it wasn't enough/making me happy.

But not mind numbing for you. Everyone's different, clearly not everyone has the same needs, children, logistics, expectations.

I did find that my mental abilities were dull after a year of SAHP. I started doing puzzles etc in my spare time to sharpen them up. And I also found that at dinner parties / social events I didn't have as much to say, not as many opinions as before, so I started reading the newspaper more to keep up to date with things.

But again, this is just my experience and doesn't mean that anyone else would feel or experience the same thing.

Not mind numbing, although it slightly is at the moment at times with them both home from school for so long!

Far from mind numbing 2 me

I never thought I could be a SAHM, it sounded like the worst thing that could ever happen, I mean how could a baby/toddler keep you feeling fulfilled but boy was I wrong.

I absolutely love it, mind numbing, I mean how does that even happen with a child, I get that it's not for everyone, but mind numbing, definitely not.

It is truly the best thing I could have done, it makes me feel sad to think I was so set on going back into my career and I would have missed all this with him,

My job is not boring, repetitive or routine. My ds is wonderful and keeps me occupied but at work there is the mental challenge of problems to solve. Compared to my job being a parent can be mind numbing. But I adore my rascal! I don't adore my boss

I feel I need a mix between work and being at home. Definitely couldn't stay at home full time though.

It’s because it would be mind numbing for some people, so they generally choose not to do it. Like my job would be considered mind numbing by some people but I find it enjoyable and interesting. People are different, it’s not that complicated!

Is it me or is there a huge spike in threads about being a SAHM vs working at the moment? Is it something to do with the pandemic and more people are facing having to stop work or something?

@tigger001 mind numbing, I mean how does that even happen with a child

Do you genuinely find your toddler intellectually stimulating!? Have you signed them up to MENSA yet?

I loved being a SAHM when my children were younger, some of the happiest times of my life. I didn’t go back to work til my kids were teenagers and I’m still only very part time working at home now. I enjoy being with my kids. It’s not for everyone though.

I would enjoy being a SAHP if all my children were in nursery or school for at least some of the time and I could achieve something in that time. If I'm honest I find preschool children a bit boring, I love my children so much but the repetitiveness doesn't do anything to stimulate me mentally.

I found it mind numbing but I still preferred it to the stress of logistics and effort of trying to work at the same time as looking after small ones (I tried both). The best was when they started school and I worked part time. Got a bit of everything then. Child rearing is tough whatever choices one makes.

I don't think anyone who says it's mind numbing is saying that they don't enjoy spending time with their children. It's just very different. The biggest decision I make is whether to spread peanut butter on toast or a rice cake for DS' tea. When I'm at work, I'm making proper adult decisions that impact people's lives. It's hardly comparable. I love my DS and there's no one I'd rather spend time with but most of my conversations these days are about the contents of a nappy.

Got to laugh at all the intellectually stimulating work posts. 😂

I find it mind numbing. Everything I do has to be at toddler level. I can’t do anything intellectually stimulating. Cant sit in peace and read a book. Can’t even watch something enjoyable on tv - it’s always kids programmes.

@teaflake

Got to laugh at all the intellectually stimulating work posts. 😂

Never said my work was intellectually stimulating

Definitely more about being able to talk to people about a huge range of topics and not have to talk about toys or Blaze or nappies!

I enjoyed being on mat leave, and wouldn't say I found it boring. I loved meeting up with friends and socialising, and I loved spending time with my children. But I have to say that I did miss the intellectual stimulation of work. During my first mat leave, I worked on my master's to keep me sane and during the second, I did a master's module in philosophy and completed an A level. They were my refuge each week. I went back to work part time (mornings), I loved the challenge of work combined with being with my child every afternoon.

I found it mind-numbing until they started school. I never once thought that the alternative was working: juggling holidays, sick leave for me/the children, having to put a boss before my family with DH having to do the same thing (we both worked in full-on City jobs where bosses and clients are even more demanding than toddlers). It would have been impossible and nobody would have benefited from it.

So I stuck it out until they started school, then went back to studying and qualifying in a completely different field, which allows me to pick and choose how much and when I work.

I now feel like I have the best of everything: there for the family who I can put first, interesting work which I can do as much or as little of as I want, and most importantly when I want. I’m earning about 1% (yes, one) of my previous salary but I’m okay with this. I saved like a demon when I was earning and we live very comfortably off DH’s salary.

So, basically, yes mind-numbing but something new gotta give somewhere 🤷🏼‍♀️

If you don't need much intellectual stimulus,

I need intellectual stimulus. Somehow I managed to find that whilst still being a sahm 😉

Do you genuinely find your toddler intellectually stimulating!? Have you signed them up to MENSA yet?

@Somethingorotherorother I don't find spending the days with my child mind numbing, I'm not quite sure how you could, but I know everyone is different, which is clearly a good thing. Why do you need to be so snarky ? Genuinely just curious ?

I do crave more sometimes, but I think that's a desire for adult conversation etc.

Pre lockdown I loved being a SAHM as we could go out and do so many things, but during lockdown I am definitely clock watching for bedtime and some days are boring

But like others have said, it's all dependent on your jobs/child etc

Thank god some people do find it mind numbing and go back to work, and thank god some people love it, otherwise there would be an imbalance somewhere

@tigger001 i think it depends how you define mind numbing. Do you genuinely never yearn for adult conversation? Or to think about something more interesting than Baa Baa Black Sheep? As i said, it's not that it's boring, just that it isn't stimulating.

I think the snark was a knee-jerk reaction to the waves of judgement coming off your post.

Most jobs became very routine. You have do the same boring tasks and deal with the same people every day.

This comment is as much of a sweeping generalisation as saying being a SAHP is mind numbing.

Personally, I find my career massively fulfilling and I enjoy it enormously. I deal with different people, tasks and situations every day. I get to travel and manage my time and tasks as I choose. I can work as much or little as I like. I've dedicated years of education, training and money to be where I am and I am lucky to work in a flexible role around my DCs.

I did find being a SAHP mind numbing in many ways. Which is why I chose to return to work.

If you have the choice to work, or not, or whatever, then go for it. But don't judge others for their choices.

Why are women such birches to each other?

I think the snark was a knee-jerk reaction to the waves of judgement coming off your post.

@Somethingorotherorother how did you read my post as judgment ? I clearly said everyone is different ??