Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

SAHP

A place for stay at home mums and dads to discuss life as a full-time parent.

New SAHP board!

313 replies

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 22/05/2015 17:05

This will be interesting! Thanks and Wine to MNHQ

OP posts:
maroonedwithfour · 26/05/2015 17:25

Agree no friends needed for at least first couple of birthdays. I doubt dc1 will have any friends at hus 3rd birthday either, just his 3 ds's.

Minisoksmakehardwork · 26/05/2015 17:27

I'm exhausted! Dd2 is stacking packets of Jammy dodgers, the other 3 are making train tracks and re-enacting various scenes from episodes of Thomas the tank engine.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 26/05/2015 17:30

mrsnec - where in the world are you, if you don't mind saying?

I forgot to say that one of the other things that helped me when I was here first was finding other expat MNers - I know quite a few now! We don't see each other very often, maybe 2-3 times a year, but it's nice to know they're there :)

myneighbour - sleep deprivation is a killer, do your 2 not nap any more? I'll be lost when DS2 gives up his daytime nap!

OP posts:
myneighbourtotoro2 · 26/05/2015 17:40

I would love some of minis dd's Jammy dodgers right now . Destroy the tower and send me some please

Thumb - dd has just turned 2 and hasn't napped for months ,ds is 8mo and will nap once whenever he so wishes Hmm and it will be between 5 minutes and an hour. He will not lower himself to be consistentGrin

Anyone else find the lack of time to yourself difficult ? It's so draining sometimes.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 26/05/2015 17:51

Yes. When Ds2 fails to have a daytime nap, I get pretty stressed about it, because he's such a klingon I find it very difficult to even do washing, he's in the laundry with me pressing buttons (his "thing").

It was better when he was smaller because I could leave him in the playpen, but by the time he was 20mo he could climb out of it .

At least he will still sit in the highchair, so I get some time to do stuff while he's having lunch, and with a bit of luck he'll doze off in the highchair too :)

DS1 was a half hour max napper when he was a small baby - drove me mad! Also a klingon. I did have to turn to the electronic nanny to get work done, else I couldn't do anything.

My biggest problem with both of them is that they both had/have breathing issues when they get really screamy - they breathe all their air out and then can't catch their breath. DS1, not so bad - used to poke him sharply in the chest to get him to catch his breath; DS2 - bloody appalling, he has several times gone on to pass out but unlike what they say, he doesn't immediately start breathing again. Fucking terrifying! He does eventually, but I don't sit around waiting, I'm giving him mild chest compressions and even mouth-to-mouth until he breathes. I can usually stop him from passing out if I catch him at the right moment and blow hard into his face - but it's not 100% effective, and if I miss it, then he's gone. Ds1 grew out of it by the time he was 3, hoping Ds2 will too (5m to go!) It's not deliberate breath-holding, they both started it at a couple of months old.

So I can't leave them to cry. Couldn't when they were tiny either because they both had inguinal hernias, and it was too risky.

Another reason why Ds2 can't go to daycare yet - I couldn't put that responsibility onto anyone else.

OP posts:
myneighbourtotoro2 · 26/05/2015 17:54

Thumb that sounds horrific ! Is that all you can do ? Is there nothing a doctor can do to help ? Poor wee pets

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 26/05/2015 18:00

Nope - been to the doc, got referred to a paed, they all say the same - he'll grow out of it by the time he's 3, there's nothing specific that's causing it. Someone did suggest low iron might contribute, so I got him checked - he did have low ferritin although his haemoglobin was ok, so he went on iron supplements - had it checked again just before we went to the UK at Easter, it was fine. Back in normal range. He did it again on the plane, ffs. And then again at Dad's, but that's likely because it goes in clusters - he hates it, as you can imagine (especially if you've ever fainted, it's bloody horrible) so it increases the anxiety when he can't catch his breath and makes fainting more likely - but he hasn't actually passed out since then, although we've had a couple of near misses.
I even had my osteopath check into it and check him over while we were there - nothing doing there either.

IF he doesn't grow out of it at 3, I will push for further testing (not sure on what!) - but for now I'm pinning my hopes on it stopping at 3.

OP posts:
Mrsfrumble · 26/05/2015 18:04

Ooooh, hello there everyone! I've just found this thread! I'll have to read back through the last 9 pages and find out who my fellow SAHPs are.

I take it we haven't been invaded yet by anyone faux-naively asking what we actually do all day?

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 26/05/2015 18:08

Not yet, Mrsf - hopefully not ever! I've heard some rumblings elsewhere that there is no need for this board and how silly it is, but so far it's been rather lovely as they're not invading the space to say so here. :)

OP posts:
notadoctor · 26/05/2015 19:20

Just adding my voice to how lovely this board is - very friendly and supportive.

DH has been home today which is a good job as I'm feeling grotty (I think mastitis but that's another story!)

Re the isolation, I am quite sociable and enjoy groups but it took a while to find people I clicked with. I do occasionally miss having colleagues and the banter (hate that word but couldn't think of a better one!) that goes along with a shared workplace. That's why, although I work 15hours ish per week from home I feel more at home on this board. My kids are my colleagues now!

mrsnec · 26/05/2015 19:54

Thanks everyone.

The thing is I'm neither introvert nor extrovert. I adapt to any social situation but am equally comfortable in my own company. I have made friends here but we've been here years. They're all transient and feel just like acquaintances and were all clients to begin with and have never felt like real friends so I wanted having dd to bring a completely new social circle anyway or at least I'm open to it. Having said that I've never needed to be surrounded by people anyway. But when I had dd there was no nct equivalent and the other girls in hospital were neither local nor expat.

I'm close to a big resort in the med. I do know a big group of expat mums but they have a common interest that I don't share so I'm kind of sidelined because of that.they have been trying to get me to sign up dd but because it's performing arts orientated I'd rather wait until she's old enough to decide if she wants to do that kind of thing for herself. If I send her to any groups I would prefer them to be more storytelling, sensory experiences and exploring creativity first and also with local kids too because I'd like to bring her up bilingual.

I do think it's about finding people you click with. I'd rather be on my own than just be with people for the sake of it. And I totally identify with anyone who's been asked what they do all day. Mil said that to me last week and I nearly punched her!

Back to dd though, I don't drive at the moment but will be soon. I hadn't actually considered soft play yet.whilst dd is lively and chatty, she still can't sit up by herself and it still feels like she's a small baby. I feel better about her first birthday too,a family outing or get together sounds ideal I know it's a way off yet but both sets of grandparents, her great grandmother and my db have already booked flights over for it.

morethanpotatoprints · 26/05/2015 19:55

Thumb

really? I hadn't seen the rumblings apart from the first thread in site stuff where a few couldn't understand it.
i hope not because it's lovely on these threads.

myneighbourtotoro2 · 26/05/2015 19:55

Aw thumb that sounds so hard . Especially as they can't work out what it is Sad , I can't imagine the worry. I hope he does grow out of it by 3

I'm awful about going to groups. I hate not knowing anyone . Luckily a couple of my close friends are pregnant now so will be off on maternity leave soon. Right now I spend far too much time with my mum Blush

Springtimemama · 26/05/2015 20:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Springtimemama · 26/05/2015 20:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

notadoctor · 26/05/2015 21:12

Thanks springtime. I have a hot water filled nappy pressed to my boob as we speak and am off for an early night! Had it when both DC were teeny but DS is 14mo and I thought those days were behind us. Luckily both DC (my eldest is 3.5yo) are in nursery tomorrow (they both do 15hours) so can rest up and potentially see a Doc. Hopefully it'll clear before we're all home alone - when they were babies and I had it we stayed in bed and cluster fed, not really an option now! Hot bath is a good idea. Will add that to me to do list for tomorrow along with rest!

MrsNec - I found as my DD got older (2ish) she naturally gravitated to certain kids at groups and even in soft play/ the park. I eventually got brave enough to swap some numbers, got on with the Mums as much as she did with the kids and now they're my main circle of Mum friends. I think it's easier as the kids get older as watching them interact and enjoy each other's company becomes a pleasure and takes the pressure off small talk.

Springtimemama · 26/05/2015 22:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 27/05/2015 00:33

Not on here, morethan But it doesn't matter, does it, because if it's useful to us and the naysayers stay away, then that IS what matters. :)

notadoc - definitely mastitis and not thrush? I had thrush for ages, but it didn't look like thrush, it just caused me heaps of pain. When I eventually went to the doc with it, 2 days of oral daktarin gel fixed it up - hope you can get to the doc to check.

myneighbour - yes, it's not great but hopefully it will all be over soon!

mrsnec - yes, I understand you. Plenty of time to get into activities!

OP posts:
TuckingFablet · 27/05/2015 11:21

Morning all. dd got up at 5am this morning but after a walk to the shop, then home then to sainsburys because cash machine at local shop didn't work means she's finally given in to a nap. no idea what to do this afternoon as I'm shattered Sad

Patilla · 27/05/2015 14:53

Well I learnt a valuable lesson today.
If you treat your two DC to popcorn at the cinema, the two year old will gobble it all up in the first half of the film and then not be hungry for her lunch that you planned for the second half of the film when her interest is waning.
You have been warned!

Patilla · 27/05/2015 14:56

Oh, and taking your six year old to get his hair cut after watching the Shaun the Sheep is a bad idea - he will be petrified he is going to be sheared like a sheep!

DixieNormas · 27/05/2015 16:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

maroonedwithfour · 27/05/2015 16:20

Just got back from zoo. Had a lovely day. Feeling alot better after depression had quickef in for a few days!!

maroonedwithfour · 27/05/2015 16:25

Quicked in

Momagain1 · 27/05/2015 16:38

hello, I saw the posts about this but wasnt sure it was good or bad. but checking in anyway. Up in Scotland, we only had a 4 day weekend, so not suffering kids at home. instead, I have spent Tues and now Wednesday faffing about NOT getting the house ready for company coming for a week on Sunday. I have a hair appointment friday, and Saturday DH and DS will be home so I won't get much done outside of normal saturday stuff. I have royally screwed myself over for tomorrow.

If it were just my adult daughter coming to visit (from the US) I wouldn't be so bothered. But I agreed a friend of her's could come too. they are here a few days, then off being tourists in their 20's for a few days, then friend goes home and I think we have 24 hours of just her. I wish I hadn't agreed to it now.

Swipe left for the next trending thread