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SAHP

A place for stay at home mums and dads to discuss life as a full-time parent.

Original poster

New SAHP board!

313 replies

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 22/05/2015 17:05

This will be interesting! Thanks and Wine to MNHQ

OP posts:
mrsnec · 28/05/2015 10:18

Hi everyone. Feel a bit more relaxed about the making friends thing now. I'd be delighted for dd to take the lead when she's ready and just exchange numbers with any mothers of the kids she gravitates towards. It's great that approach has worked for some.

It seems some of you on here are a bit more structured than me. I try and stick to the same nap times during the day and catch up around the house then but apart from that we just do whatever dd wants to do although I'm very frustrated at the moment because our village has been closed to pedestrians so going for walks has become very boring because we can't get to the shops.

Dd is getting very lively too and has started knocking things over like lamps etc.I thought we were a little way off that!

My dd is up at 6 and I thought that was bad. I compensate by going to bed ridiculously early. It's the only way I can cope.

I agree about having family far away being hard sometimes. Mil lives 5 minutes away though which is a little close for comfort at times and she's currently on holiday for a month.

Original poster
ThumbWitchesAbroad · 28/05/2015 11:10

Mrs - I agree, 5 mins is too close. My MIL is 15 mins away - close enough to be able to help quickly in an emergency but not too close although she needed to be discouraged from dropping in every single fucking day to start with! - she's also away currently, for 10 weeks! Shock Makes me realise how much I do rely on her occasional help, when I don't have access to it!

OP posts:
howabout · 28/05/2015 11:11

Mumagain and Cantocandle I am also inbn Scotland, land of permanent rain!

Mumagain your. post about time ,mismanagement made me smile. I made a comment similar to this on the thread about SAHM having 30 hours off a week. For me school only has 6 full weeks a year. The minute there is a bank holiday or an in service day my whole week goes to pot. Kind of given up having a schedule now and also had to cut back on non DC / household activities. I love having visitors but really need to make myself schedule in the planning as it is not so easy to do things on the hoof with DC.

MrsPear · 28/05/2015 13:38

Afternoon can a late newcomer join? Sahm to 2 boys. One does six hours at pre school and other in reception. I also make cards but I need to create my own space as I am fed of it all stored in a cupboard!

Mrsfrumble · 28/05/2015 15:04

Hi MrsPear!

We moved to the USA two years ago for DH's work (which is the main reason I'm a SAHM; the industry I used to work doesn't really exist in this city) and having no support network and 2 tiny children has been tough.

Has the apocalyptic weather hitting the southern-central states made the UK news yet? It has been the wettest month since records began here; I was cool with it at first, thinking "I'm British! I can handle a bit of rain!" but now I'm going a little crazy. Preschool finished for the "summer" 2 weeks ago and it's been mostly too wet for the park. The house is a tip and I keep shouting at the children Blush

We're venturing out for a play date this morning, so I'll be digging out my wellies and the all-terrain buggy to trek through all the mud.

morethanpotatoprints · 28/05/2015 15:58

We are Grater Manchester and whilst a bit breezy today, no rain.
It's lovely and kids are playing in the park.
I thought Manchester was supposed to be the wettest place anywhere, but since being here, 14 years now, I can honestly say it isn't.

notadoctor · 28/05/2015 16:19

We're Manchester too and the weather has put a a definite Spring in our steps - everything is so much nicer when you're able to get outside!

notadoctor · 28/05/2015 16:25

Posted too soon - I meant to send sympathis to you stuck in the rain, Mrsfrumble - I am definity much messier and shoutier when we can't get out! Hope the play date was worth the all weather gear!

Buttwing · 28/05/2015 19:10

Another Manc here too! It's been lovely windows open and kids in the garden in their hoodies to be fair but at least it's bright.

morethanpotatoprints · 28/05/2015 19:17

I've been on rightmove again today, still can't find anything as good as the house we have now. I just wish it was about 15 mins nearer to Manchester.
We want to be as close as Salford, but not here iyswim.
Dh said look at Disley and the Cheshire side, but I don't really like South Cheshire anymore.
It used to be a nice mix of wc and mc, now it's just posh.

dontevenblink · 29/05/2015 06:37

Hello all,
I am exhausted, had a crazy day trying to get all the shopping done, with dd2 screaming through most of it. I shop in a few different places to cut down on costs, but it takes so long and dd2 has developed a hate of her car seat. It's not helped by the fact the school run is at least a 20 minute drive away, so I don't blame her for not liking it, as I really don't like it myself!

I noticed a few others have 4dcs, is your house like a military operation before and after school? The mornings seem to involve a lot of shouting and ticking off their charts, and after school I try not to let myself sit down until everything is done (dinner, lunchboxes, homework etc). It is very full on though and I am so so tired by the time dh comes home about 7.

Total sympathy for those with no family support, we have none here, mind you they were pretty rubbish when we did live in the UK though. It's one of the reasons I'm a sahm, dh does such long hours and has to work away whenever they need him.

mrsfrumble the weather in the US has made it on to the news here in NZ, looks horrible, hope everyone's okay. It's (literally) freezing here, brrr.

morethan I've been looking at property websites here, but just rentals (although I have been nosing at ones for sale too :) ) as we may have a transfer coming up to another part of the country. It's a bit depressing though as kiwis don't really believe in insulating houses, there is no central heating, and only the newest houses have double glazing so finding decent rentals can be really tricky. We may be able to stay put though, although to be honest part of me does have itchy feet, I just don't relish the idea of moving with 4dc...

Sorry that turned into a long post!

Buttwing · 29/05/2015 08:21

morethan I lived in Manchester for most of my life I moved to trafford/south cheshire about 7 years ago. Some parts are exactly as you describe and very posh! Other bits not so much I think Sale is quite nice although it's Manchester rather than cheshire not that makes any difference. It's got lovely period property, good schools and a nice mix of people.
I'm not going to lie though it's expensive and a friend who was trying to buy at around £300k was really struggling as everything was getting snapped up that was in altrincham. She finally got something but a lot of property's were going to sealed bids. Just crazy!

Buttwing · 29/05/2015 08:25

Properties not property's sorry it's early!

donteven I have 4dc and yes it's like a military operation in the mornings, I get absolutely everything I can ready the night before. I must admit though it's heaven when they're on school hols in the morning :)

MaggieJoyBlunt · 29/05/2015 11:02

Can I join you all?

I'm about to go back to SAHMing for a couple of years while I oversee the sixth form studies of my DC (they have SEN and statements and there are move-on arrangements to oversee). I've not SAHMed to such enormous DC before, but I'm needed and a bit burnt out from tribunals, juggling and a career cul de sac

I will probably take the opportunity to retrain at the same time.

dontevenblink · 29/05/2015 12:26

buttwing I love school holidays and not having to get them all out the door! And definitely yes to doing as much as possible the night before. How old are your dc?

Hi Maggie, sounds like you've got a busy couple of years ahead!

MaggieJoyBlunt · 29/05/2015 12:29

Yes, that's why I'm winding up work and reclaiming Carers Allowance now. It would be nice to have the summer to regroup Smile

morethanpotatoprints · 29/05/2015 14:11

buttwing

I lived mid cheshire most of my life and it was a nice mix, even the south of the county was quite a nice mix too.
I know what you mean there are areas that aren't posh, but they are so dear because of good school catchment, which doesn't apply to us. Even down sizing we couldn't afford the type of house we'd like, I think dh needs to be a bit more realistic and look at closer down the East Lancs Grin
It is to be closer to our twice weekly commute to drop and pick up dd from school, she's going to weekly board.

TeacupTravels · 29/05/2015 14:59

I'm loving half term with the kids! It almost pushes me over the edge into homeschooling (something I consider on and off).

We almost moved to Manchester at one point but are now on the south coast - we'd have a much nicer house up there!

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 29/05/2015 15:12

Oh good glad we've got a SAHP board Smile

Buttwing · 29/05/2015 15:17

Donteven mine are 10,4,20 months and 7 months. Dc3 was 14 weeks when I found out I was pregnant again Blush it's hard work at the moment but I'm hoping that they will grow up to be best buddies either that or they will spend their whole lives fighting
What about yours?

Buttwing · 29/05/2015 15:21

Morethan

You are so right it's ridiculous if I had my time again I'm not sure I would chose here to live we would get much more for our money elsewhere. The primary's have great results because the kids are heavily tutored for the 11+/entrance exams, but that's a whole other story:)

I'm taking my eldest for dinner and a shopping trip tonight to spend her birthday money and have a bit of one on one time with mummy

howabout · 29/05/2015 15:29

Buttwing my eldest 2 are 19 months apart. Found it really hard going for first six months of dd2 but much easier after that as they started to play together. My 2 say they hate each other but they are in fact a pretty much indivisible force you don't want to mess with!

Buttwing · 29/05/2015 15:56

howabout that gives me hope :)

TuckingFablet · 29/05/2015 16:21

I've had enough today. 3 days of whinging and crying and just being miserable. we went to ikea yesterday and she loved running around there. when dp is off, she is all smiles and laughter but when it's just me she's a nightmare. I'm just so worn down by it all. asked my dad weeks ago if he could look after dd for the day in June so me and dp could go to a recording of Pointless. he text me last night to say he was busy with his step grandson. he looks after him two days a week, yet never has time for me. it seems like his wife and her family are more important than us. dd is 18 months old and he has looked after her once over night, and once for a few hours while I had a doctor's appointment. it makes me so sad that he lives 10 minutes up the road but never sees us. PIL live 3 hours away and have helped us so much more. I mean, I had a kid, I don't expect other people to look after her, she is my responsibility, I get that, but is it too much to ask that my dad helps me out every now and then, or even just meets us in town for coffee. dd has no idea who he is, and that makes me sad Sad.

sorry for the rant, its been a long day.

morethanpotatoprints · 29/05/2015 16:42

Tucking

That must be so hard for you, how mean.
My dc grew up without gps as we lived too far away, at times I would have loved having them all around us, but when I hear your story know it would have been similar. Thanks for you, sounds like it's tough atm.
How old is dd and could you use a nursery just for a few hours of sanity?