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SAHP

A place for stay at home mums and dads to discuss life as a full-time parent.

New SAHP board!

313 replies

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 22/05/2015 17:05

This will be interesting! Thanks and Wine to MNHQ

OP posts:
ISaySteadyOn · 26/05/2015 08:39

Anyone else with small DC struggling a bit with half term? DS can't walk yet which really limits our choice of playground and I am so tired of the one that suits all 3. I know every centimetre of it.

Springtimemama · 26/05/2015 10:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fattymcfatfat · 26/05/2015 10:22

make dens out of sheets.
nature walk
mine have been to the fair
park
arts and crafts
playdough
walk by the river
lots of trips to nans house
they will be able to come see the midwife with me and hear DS2s heartbeat
I've also got a baby shower coming up so I think Dad is going to have them for that
pots, pans and wooden spoons for when/if you feel like having a noisy Day
dancing (just whack the music on and dance like a fool Wink )
blocks, see how big you can build the tower then knock it down.
that's just top if my head (and I won't be doing the walks Dad will have to as I'm on crutches and can't even get upstairs without being nearly in tears )

fattymcfatfat · 26/05/2015 10:24

oh and baking
making pizzas (even the 17 month old loves this as she gets to eat cheese Grin )

fattymcfatfat · 26/05/2015 10:26

oh and toddlers love this if you feel like being messy.
hide small toys on a tray under shaving foam. and get them to find different things (car, farm animals, train, etc)

fattymcfatfat · 26/05/2015 10:30

speaking of finding things, treasure hunt! make a map for them to follow
hide and seek in the house (not too many places to hide and no chance of properly losing little ones)
get them to help with housework! they love role play so give them a cloth and get them wiping things (you will have to do it again but they try)
bubbles.
chalks on the outside walls/drive

fattymcfatfat · 26/05/2015 10:34

be a dinosaur/monster/giant and Chase them and tickle them (be prepared for screaming)
make a story corner. throw lots of cushions and teddies and books into a corner and get comfy.
make finger puppets to act out stories (even if you are not very crafty you can usually find character pictures on the web, or get the kids to draw them, stick on a lolly stick)

Springtimemama · 26/05/2015 10:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fattymcfatfat · 26/05/2015 10:38

I'm a bit of a cheat, I have childcare qualifications Wink

fattymcfatfat · 26/05/2015 10:39

no job, but even so doing the course helped with loads of ideas Grin

morethanpotatoprints · 26/05/2015 10:45

Ah, it's lovely hearing all the play ideas.
I have no little ones anymore, our youngest is 11 now and likes to do her own thing now Sad
I guess the peace and quiet is nice though, but remember those times well Grin
Make the most of these lovely times together as the fond memories are lovely.

cheapandcheerful · 26/05/2015 10:49

Hi everyone!

I feel like a bit of an imposter as I do actually work one day a week Shock

In my defence, I do often forget that I have a job and don't tell my boss do frequently refer to myself as a SAHP...Am I still allowed to join?

I have a 4yo dd who is starting reception in September and a 2.5yo dd who is at home with me full-time.

Please say you'll have me!

Springtimemama · 26/05/2015 11:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

morethanpotatoprints · 26/05/2015 13:03

cheapandcheerful

of course you're welcome.
It's just a nice area to chat about whatever you want to, and of course any sahp stuff.
So far, so good everyone has been really nice and friendly.
I feel a bit of a fraud sometimes as only have the one dependant and she's off to school in september, so I'll be a retired sahm and lady of leisure. Grin

Two dds you need all the support you can get. One dd was enough for me, give me ds anytime Grin

TuckingFablet · 26/05/2015 13:08

afternoon all. dd hasn't napped today, instead she spent 2 hours in her cot singing to her duck teddy Grin
we're going to play in the sand and water table as it's a lovely day and half term means the park is a no go area thanks to the local teenagers hanging around Sad

mrsnec · 26/05/2015 13:35

Can I join you too?

My dd is 7 months. I sometimes help my husband with his business too.

I'm not in the UK and don't have any friends here with children the same age. I haven't joined any groups yet and rarely see other children out and about.

At the moment I'm fine with the way things are, being in my situation is what I wanted. It's no easier or harder than I thought and is actually more fulfilling than any job I've ever had.

I don't know as yet if I'm going to help dh more and put dd in a nursery or go with her to a children's centre. I am more worried about her socialising than me making friends but just last week both mil and an old school friend told me that the loneliness and isolation of being an sahm ( I don't have an issue with that term) is going to hit me like a ton of bricks and I wonder if I'm being complacent.

At the moment she has no little friends to invite to her first birthday party but I don't know if I need to worry about that yet. She's unlikely to have siblings. And doesn't really have cousins. I enquired about joining a children's centre but they didn't have any other children there her age but I might try again in a couple of months.

CultureSucksDownWords · 26/05/2015 15:35

I wouldn't worry about not having little friends for a first or even a second birthday, as your child really won't notice or care.

The isolation/loneliness thing can really depend on your personality and what you plan to do/join with your DD. She won't need any specific socialisation yet, playing with other children casually in play areas/soft play etc is fine for now.

(Disclaimer, I'm not a SAHP, I work part time, so I may well be talking nonsense!)

myneighbourtotoro2 · 26/05/2015 15:56

Anyone else having a tough day ? I got next to no sleep last night , took my arthritis drugs this morning so I feel like I could vomit at any moment. Two tiny people keep climbing on me and I'm counting the minutes until dh can get home so I can go and hide in the bath.

Sorry for the rant just feeling miserable.

morethanpotatoprints · 26/05/2015 16:26

mrsnec

Hi.

I don't think everyone minds the quietness or feels lonely as a sahm, I know I haven't.
I suppose its how you look at it really. The friends I know who feel isolated, lonely etc are the ones who don't have any hobbies/ interests and look at being a sahp as drudgery just housekeeping, wiping up after kids, cooking and cleaning.
Whilst that can be part of your life it doesn't have to be all your life.
I have always kept up things for myself, although it was harder and less time when dc were little. now must of my time is mine and its great Grin

howabout · 26/05/2015 16:38

Culture I don't think you are talking nonsense and I am a SAHP. I made the effort with mother & toddler groups with dd1 and dd2 and didn't bother for dd3. I am actually far happier when I meet people on my own terms rather than in a parenting environment. As for dd3 she is actually pretty sociable, but that might be in part from having older (though much older) siblings. Dd1 and 2 watched her at the park making friends and were amazed at how good she is at it. They are not great as they have always had each other to play with.
I like my own company and have as many hobbies as there is time. Also my DH is around quite a lot, but it is good to have outside friendships. I tend to use social media to keep up with lifelong friends and wider family these days rather than running the school gate gauntlet though.

JugglingFromHereToThere · 26/05/2015 16:44

Hi myneighbour Sorry you're feeling rough today. I'm not having a great day either but only because I fell out with DH a bit last night over some trivial thing really. But I did get out with ds to meet up with a friend of his and mine (mother and son) so that helped considerably. The boys had a short paddle in a canoe on the lake while we had a cuppa Brew So that was very pleasant especially in the sunshine. And dd quite excited to show me the web page of a Uni course she likes the look of so that was nice to share with her especially as it had pictures! Things have definitely been looking up since this morning. I hope the same is true for all of you x

hennybeans · 26/05/2015 17:06

Hello Everyone! Glad to see this thread. I've got DC 7, 6, and 2 and have been a sahm for nearly 8 years now. I really enjoy being at home as I have a lot of hobbies and enjoy time to myself. Life is definitely easier since my eldest 2 have started school, and I've only got 2 more years until the littlest is there too. I'm on the fence as to what I will do after then. I actually don't know any other sahms IRL, although I know many who are just part- time, so it will be interesting to read all the threads here in the future.

myneighbourtotoro2 · 26/05/2015 17:11

Juggling that sounds lovely . Wish it was sunny here but dh is on his way home so things are looking up Smile. Sleep deprivation might destroy me soon . Hope you and your dh make up soon Thanks

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 26/05/2015 17:14

mrsnec - I agree that it has a lot to do with your personality and the things you enjoy, whether or not you will get bored/lonely/isolated. And whether you are in introvert or extravert!

When I moved to Australia 6 years ago, I didn't know anyone apart from DH and his mother, and DH was out at work, so I found that it was a real benefit to me to join a local playgroup or 2 with Ds1 once I'd settled into the house. I'm still going to both those playgroups now with Ds2 - and they've been the places where I've met most people whom I know. Now Ds1 is at school, I'm meeting more people there (parents and teachers) - but because I don't work I don't have other contacts. Dh has no friends, so that was a non-starter - and I think I would have gone slightly mad not having anyone else here to talk to. MN was one of my lifelines when I first got here! My link back to the UK and "normality" - gave me some continuity. Latterly, FB has become very helpful too.

Both my DSs are naturally sociable, will play with anyone, anywhere - but for a while there it looked like DS1 was going to be an only, so it was good to take him to places where he could meet and play with other children. Even better in that some of those children he met, he now goes to school with. One of the advantages of a smallish ruralish town in NSW, as opposed to the big city life! And the fact that schools here have the policy that if you're in catchment, you're entitled to a place; if they don't have space for you, they make it. So local children tend to end up in the same school.

It doesn't work for everyone - but the people I know, we talk about far more than just the children, even if that was our starting point.

I didn't go to playgroups with DS1 before we left the UK though, partly because I didn't need to (had my own things to do) and partly because I didn't feel that need to "network" on behalf of DS1, as we wouldn't be staying there. I took him to activities, but didn't really get chatting to other parents, except one who was at both swimming and gymbabes - and that was only because I held her DS once for her while she fetched the car, because it was pissing with rain!

re. 1st birthday parties - Ds1 had his cousins and my best friend's son at his. No one else. He didn't care, he had a lovely time running round after them! Then his 2nd birthday was in Australia before we knew anyone, so it was just a family day out to the zoo. Ditto 3rd birthday. 4th we went to the Harry Potter Exhibition in Sydney. He didn't have an actual party-with-friends-as-guests until his 5th birthday!

Each to their own though - you do what works best for you and your child(ren). :)

OP posts:
Patilla · 26/05/2015 17:16

Ok so it's Tuesday of half term and a deadline week for DH who had to work Monday as well.
I'm afraid to say I'm starting to flag. Hoping that a trip to kiddie showing of Shaun the Sheep and obscene amounts of popcorn will pick us all up tomorrow.
Had tears from DD(2) when DH went to work this morning. It's bedtime without DH that DS (6) gets upset at.

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