Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
SAHP

A place for stay at home mums and dads to discuss life as a full-time parent.

Original poster

New SAHP board!

313 replies

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 22/05/2015 17:05

This will be interesting! Thanks and Wine to MNHQ

OP posts:
morethanpotatoprints · 29/05/2015 16:46

Teacup

Have just seen your post about H.ed.
We are just finishing 3 years with dd, her brothers went through school, but she left after y3.
It was the best move we made and likely to have set her up for life, but a long story.
Have you ventured onto the H.ed boards, lots of info there and friendly folk. Grin

TuckingFablet · 29/05/2015 16:55

She's 18 months. we can't afford nursery for her, so it's just me looking after her till she gets the free hours.

morethanpotatoprints · 29/05/2015 17:15

Tucking

are you eligible as a sp for a few hours when dd is 2?
I don't know about nursery as we never used it and so much keeps changing.
I would sit free for you if we lived near.
I remember this time well myself, it was a hard struggle.
Probably no consolation to you atm, but it does get so much better as they grow up and become a bit more independent, but then you feel bad for wishing their lives away.
I really sympathise my love and hope you gain some help soon.
Are there any church organisations near you, the SA of all people helped my friend in similar situation. They paid for one session per week and also their cadets would babysit occasionally.
Now her dc have grown up and are volunteering Grin Thanks

ISaySteadyOn · 29/05/2015 17:36

Tucking, that sounds awful. But at least your PIL are helpful.

I have bitten the bullet and decided that as DD2 likes to take all her clothes off, I might as well have a go at potty training her. So nappyless at home, nappy when out for the moment.

I am also feeling triumphant. I had a second attempt at a carrot and lentil soup that hadn't worked well before but it worked this time!

Baddz · 29/05/2015 17:50

Tucking...I understand why you are upset.
It's not that your dad doesn't help, it's that he helps his step family more. That must be hurtful
I home schooled ds1 for a year in 2010 and it was great. Best thing we could have done at the time. He is now back in Ms school and doing well but he had a dreadful time at his old school...bullying and no help for his dyslexia.
He is 12 next month (how the hell did that happen!) and he is such a great kid
His brother is 6 and in year 1 and doing very well. Such different characters!
I am going to put my name down for voluntary hospital driving next week. I am also going to volunteer at our local library - due to cuts it's going to be run by a charity group.
Dh is off to the U.S. again with work next month :(

TuckingFablet · 29/05/2015 18:05

we should qualify for free hours when she's a bit older as we don't earn much money from dps wage. sorry for my rant earlier, I'm just knackered and feeling a bit overwhelmed. the rain didn't help today as we couldn't go out. We're both in better moods now, she ate her tea and I asked her if she enjoyed it. she said uh uhuh mama, YUM! and gave me a kiss Grin

Baddz · 29/05/2015 18:08

Awwww Smile

morethanpotatoprints · 29/05/2015 18:29

Tucking

Apologies for presuming you are a sp.
Don't apologise for having a rant, that's what Mnet is for.

It is hard when dc are little, all mine are older now.
Sometimes I look back and think, was it really that bleak and I remember it was. I have nothing but sympathy and empathy for those with little ones at home, it can seem endless.

The best bit I remember with fondness were the pre school years, educating through play before they went to school.
There wasn't really a preschool curriculum as such so I just taught them how to read and write through a variety of games and activities.
Then they started school and what Miss said became more important Grin

I'm about to lose dd in september, she is going to weekly board, so time for a new direction I think.
Maybe some volunteering.

Baddz · 29/05/2015 18:37

Yes.
It can be relentless at times.
I sometimes resented Dh for getting a break...talking to adults, going out at night with clients, just getting to still be him iyswim?
Added to that my ds1 had multiple health issues and developmental delay and I felt very alone - I wish I had found mn when ds1 was tiny!

Original poster
ThumbWitchesAbroad · 29/05/2015 23:58

Tucking - that's rough :(
My Dad wouldn't have been any use with DS1 at that age anyway - had never changed a nappy in his life, despite having 3 children and now 7 grandchildren. He's ok once they're about 3 or 4, but younger than that, not so much, except for the odd couple of hours when a nappy change isn't likely to be required. But I see that he looks after someone else's child, so that's got to hurt. :(

donteven - I hear you about the lack of insulation and central heating! I'm in NSW and although we own our house, it's an old one (c. 1920/30) and any insulation it ever had has probably been eaten by vermin of one sort or another! We do have a couple of double glazed windows now (replacing them slowly) and a thing called Ventis, which helps to equalise the temps around the house, but it's still bloody cold in winter and bloody hot in summer!

OP posts:
dontevenblink · 30/05/2015 13:20

thumb the lack of insulation amazes me. I even heard an advertisement the other day for upvc glazing saying it was a brand new idea Grin We have an hrv system that sort of pumps the air around the house and attic and kind of makes it drier, is your ventis like that? (Sorry rubbish description!) Our windows were dripping wet with condensation every morning before it was installed, I was literally ringing out tea towels they were so wet, but the hrv has completely cleared it which is great. Our house is 1990, so relatively new, but still no proper insulation or double glazing... Lucky the sun comes out lots to warm it up though!

buttwing wow your youngest are close, must have been a shock to find out you were pregnant so soon! My 4 are 7, 5, 3 and 8 months so roughly 2 years between each other and that's full on enough. I love that they are close, although we have a lot of fighting too.

Tucking sorry to hear your dad isn't taking nearly as much interest as he should, I really feel for you. I was really close to my dad but when I was pregnant with dc1 he left my mum and went off with another woman and has decided he doesn't want anything to do with his old family any more. I managed to ring him before we emigrated to tell him we were leaving and that he had 2 grandchildren if he wanted to see them but he said he was too busy. That was 4 years ago and I've heard nothing since, as far as I know he has no idea he has 4 grandchildren. Sorry to go on about my situation but just wanted you to know you have my empathy and someone to chat to if you want, it's hard to deal with when they are choosing someone else and you know your dc are missing out on that relationship Sad

I'm off to bed now, but hope you all have a good Saturday! It was very cold here so hopefully it's warmer where you are Smile

maroonedwithfour · 30/05/2015 18:50

Evening all, been a busy afternoon in chez marooned. We spent the afternoon hollering at the dcs sorting out the garden. Cleaned the patio and created a barked atea for dcs still to be bought out door toys. Its almost finished and looking good. Im rewarding myself with wine.Wine

maroonedwithfour · 30/05/2015 18:54

Oh tucking just read your post. Thats very mean of your df. Have you called him out on it?

BathshebaDarkstone · 30/05/2015 18:56

I drink cider, it doesn't show. Grin

Buttwing · 30/05/2015 19:35

Tucking that sounds really crap, I'm sorry.

I've tried to sort out some of the kids stuff today. I feel like we are drowning in clothes,toys everything really. Ever time I open a cupboard something falls out and usually hits me on the head!

Managed to do dd(4)s toy cupboard in her bedroom. Got two bin bags of rubbish and one charity bag out. Had to do it when she was downstairs as she can't bare to throw anything away. I'd love a week to myself to just sort out all our junk.

Dd has a rather attractive love bite looking mark in the middle of her forehead from sticking a suction cup on it. What the hell goes through their minds sometimes?

Springtimemama · 31/05/2015 00:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TuckingFablet · 31/05/2015 08:15

thanks guys, it does get me down some times, but it's nice to have the PIL. I would just like my dad to be available so I could have a break once in a while.
pouring with rain here today, I hate it when it rains as we can't go out. dd is like a puppy atm who needs daily walks Grin if it stops raining as heavily we can go puddle jumping but it's not looking likely!

buttwing well done on clearing some stuff. I recently went through dds stuff and it took several hours and many bin bags Grin

maroon sounds like a fun day and Hurrah for wine!

TuckingFablet · 31/05/2015 08:15

spring hope his hair grows back super quick Grin Grin

TeacupTravels · 31/05/2015 08:39

Gosh this thread grows quicker than I can keep up!

Morethan-

My daughter loves school and is doing well. We've talked about home ed before and she doesnt want to (although I guess its not really an informed choice). She does do so much at school that I wouldn't at home that I think it would be wrong to pull her out. I'd feel v.different if she didn't like it/was struggling. Ideologically I get frustrated with the teacher threads (ex teacher) and the pressure on teachers/target driven nature of education. But I also get tired easily (Had ME badly in the past) and may well need to earn money at some point so it looks like shes in school for now. There's so many places I want to go .... and I dont like the idea of them indoors 5 days aweek. I'll see if we can do some suppers on the beach/go afterschool a bit.

Spring -

I'm really not looking forwards to the school run! I've loved getting up in our own time and seeing my 2 play together. I think I'd have liked 2 weeks. I know once theyre back I'll love the time to Get Things Done.

I'm struggling at the moment wtih my house - it feels like theres just not enough space and stuff lfies around everywhere. Even if I keep on top of it for a few days, a couple of meal times and the kids playing and it looks really scabby again. Its an ex council small boxy house, and it just looks awful - but I tell myself if it was a large rambly house it would just look "artfully messy" or something...... I need to paint too... Sigh.

maroonedwithfour · 31/05/2015 10:39

Teacup. My house is a tip right now. Dd2 doesnt go back til tuesday when it will get blitzed!!! if I can bear it til then

As its raining heavily I think finishing the garden will have to wait. Im waiting for Dh to get home from the tip then I'll get ready, go to gym and need to pop to the shops.

Buttwing · 31/05/2015 13:14

spring oh no hope it grows back soon!

Sounds like a lot of people's children go back on Monday, have most only had a week off?

We have two weeks dd not back until a week on Monday.

Does anyone have a little on starting school in September? Dd2 is starting and I fill up when ever I think about it! Blush

fattymcfatfat · 31/05/2015 15:04

no little one starting school but my DS goes back a week Monday too. I think it's with him being at a Catholic School, holidays tend to differ.

TeacupTravels · 31/05/2015 15:16

2 weeks? Wow. Is that a private school? We'd love 2 weeks! It's always been 1 week half terms where I've been /taught, 2 weeks Easter and Xmas, 6 weeks summer.

Original poster
ThumbWitchesAbroad · 31/05/2015 17:30

Gosh, who gets 2 week half terms? Wonderful! I never had that (I was at a private senior school) although we did have longer general holidays (3w at Easter and Christmas and 8 over summer)

In Australia, we get 2w off 3 times a year but no half term, and then the long summer holiday which is around 5-6w off. So effectively we have 4 terms of 10 weeks each but with no break. I'm not sure if it's better or worse, tbh!

My Ds2 won't be starting school until Jan/Feb 2018 so that's quite a way off yet. They don't start them so early here either - they have to be turning 5 by the 31st July of the year they start school, so they have to be at least 4 1/2 when they do start, and they're faaaar more relaxed, nay in some cases insistent, in allowing children to defer for a year if they're not ready. So we get some starting at almost 6. They have to be in school (or home ed) by the time they are 6. I know a couple of home-edders, but it's not for me - DS1 loves school but I don't have the self-restraint to teach him, I get far too frustrated. He learns stuff from me as an incidental thing - when I help him with reading, or his guitar practice, or his homework, I try to sneak in extra bits of info to help him remember stuff - but full time? couldn't do it. And I'll need the break from DS2!! Grin

OP posts:
maroonedwithfour · 31/05/2015 17:49

I'm glad 2 of dcs back monday and one back tuesday, ds also at nursery too so can have peace get things done. I'm not looking forward to the school run.