I dont suppose any of you would like to join the socially awkward society I am going to start?

[MumofTrioTrioIwanaTrioIwant1NW]

free membership Or is it just me?

Am annoyed at myself for being socially awkward (several instances today in company),

I do try thats the annoying thing I just dont seem to be able to be anything else! pah!

Please come cheer me up somehow

Aggh - having crisis because some of you kindly replied to my post last night - but I'd buggered off to bed. Am I too late to respond? what's the etiquette? don't want to cause offence or draw attention to my failings.

Anyhoo - Hairymelons, my favourite pasta shape is....lasagne, nice flat sheets which are very satisfying to crack. (ps. am still morbidly obese, thanks for asking ).
MrsChemist, thanks for the hello - I managed to grab a custard cream on my way to the toilet and I don't think anyone noticed.

I've brought some twiglets to share - they leave your fingers looking brown and sticky which is hugely embarrasing when meeting new people.

Piprabbit, come and dance with us - you know how you enjoy dancing on the carpet in view of a load of people you only know well enough to feel inferior to!

Did somebody say cake?!

I know what you mean about post etiquette, piprabbit I have the same problem with texts - when to reply, how long is an acceptable time lapse, at what point it is ok to stop replying...oh god, I really am that pathetic!!

Twigletty

kick arse queen we sound VERY similar.

xx

....thank you...

WWWY - oooh I love dancing, get into my own little world, can we put on some 80s music please? ....

generally stop to find the dancefloor empty and everyone stood on the sidelines watching me in a slightly concerned fashion.

SalFresco, please resist the urge to sniff at twigletty fingers - people will wonder what you've been doing. That cake looks good though - please may I have a taste?

Yep, Piprabbit-been there, done that! For some reason I'm not shy when it comes to dancing (badly). I guess cos if you're dancing you don't have to stand around trying to make conversation.

I think you've hit on something there mountainmoney. Also, I'm slightly deaf in one ear, so if there's music (and dim lights) I really struggle to join in conversations at all. Much easier to cut loose and pretend I'm not bothered about chatting.

Absolutely - but I've become self-conscious about it since DH asked me why I've got a silly smile on face.

< realises the others like each other better than her, moves away slightly and assumes silly smile >

Plus dancing is a way of expressing yourself non-verbally. It says "look I'm a fun person" without having to let people get to know you.

Here you go piprabbit - I've washed my hands

The funny thing is, I go to loads of gigs and festivals, and happily dance like a loon in public but at parties, I revert back to school disco self-concious foot shuffle. I did dance at my wedding, but one of my boobs very nearly made a surprise appearance as a result. And it is on videao

I thought I was better since having DC's, but mine are so little socialising is parent led, rather than child IYSWIM. I had DS1's birthday party recently, and it was the first one where we invited his friends, as opposed to friends of mine that had children. I was in agony before it.

Gosh this all sounds horribly familiar I'm in... I am completely socially inept, people who moved to the area after me (3 years ago) are all in their own little cliques whilst I seem to get stuck on nodding terms only.

please may i join in?

i've been hovering since this morning, so obviously i'm late...

I went to a meeting of local shop keepers a couple of weeks ago, and i was on the outskirts of a conversation. it took me ages to pluck up the gumption to make a comment, and when i did, the council man leading the meeting talked right over me.
it wasn't even that he didn't realise i was talking, as he looked right at me as i started to speak and then just started a new sentence.

i was totally mortified (especially as everyone else must have noticed)

i felt so stupid and just wanted to cry, right then.

oh, god, i wished i hadn't read page 4 (i only read the first 3 pages before i joined in)

OurLady and suiledonne:
i'm getting married in august and one of my greatest fears is walking down the aisle and people thinking i look awful.
and another is noone talking to me at the reception.

thats horrible nickelbabe - I hate people who behave like that, they are downright rude. If you have to attend another meeting, next time imagine them all naked (I bet rude council man ain't pretty naked). What I get cross about is that I always think of a good retort about 30mins after someone has upset me and then I get upset that I let them upset me and so on... One tip for anyone else who blushes tomato-like, like me; I use Nelsons Pulsatilla (got it in Holland & Barrett) which is great if you go red every time you are upset or embarrassed as it calms you down so your reactions aren't the same. I use it if I know I've got a social gathering/event (best taken day before or take first lot early morning for an evening event).

Nickelbabe- that council man was just being bloody rude. You have as much right to talk as anybody else.

And why would anyone think you look awful on your wedding day? I am and that you would fear that.

God, no AF! It was lovely, apart from the fact that I was scared shitless. Was just a rubbish joke, forgot the

I also think MN is helping in the way you state, I now have an opinion on things I knew nothing about before and also refrain from having an opinion on stuff I know nothing about (like other people's lives ).

nickelbabe, do you have bridesmaids? Or a sister/ bezzie who will be there? Maybe you could tell them what you are worried about so they can spend the day telling you how fabulous you look and making sure you're never alone. My lovely sisters did this for me at my wedding without me asking, it was a real weight off.

Italy loving mum, I will get some of that from Holland and Barrett next time I go as I go crimson when embarassed/self conscious. I took SJW for a while which made my blushing even worse, it was awful.

The only thing that ever helped my social anxiety was Seroxat but I couldn't stand the side effects

I have never married DP as I could not face the whole big day and everyones eyes on me- argh! I am thinking of getting CBT or something as my social anxiety affects a lot of my life for example when Ds1 had a special assembly instead of enjoying it I ended up worrying about the half hour after when we had to stand round and chat before the children came out at the end of the day.

It really helps to know its not just me though even though it feels like it sometimes!

Anyfucker -re IT crowd, have you seen the advert with Moss and the milk

I hate it when you finally pluck up the courage to speak and someone talks over you, or, worse still, no-one is listening to you, and you don't know whether to carry on talking while desperately trying to catch somebody's eye, or to tail off feeling awful...I think the thing to do is make a joke of it, but I don't have the confidence!

cake? scoffs more slies than is strictly speaking polite, and grabs a glass of plonk<

well, social awkwardness does seem to be widespread doesn't it?

i think it is smething you get over in a haze of drunkness/drugs in the halcyon days of youth, and then re-visits itself on you when you become a parent, and have to try nd get on with the world sober, and with the added set of concerns that comes with child-shepherding. Certainly I did'nt feel socially awkward as a twenty-something but It has been a matter of will going to playgroup. After a year, i can now spend about half my time there talking to adults. Something i did 'for the benefit of the kids'.

MN doesn't always help (threads that go 'don't you hate people that talk about themselves/ ask intrusive questions/ don't talk at all/ helicopter parent/ let their kids run riot/ are not models of social perfection....')

would subjecting everything i said/did in a short session of socialisation to careful (and cringing) analysis after the fact put me in socially awkward territory? i find this gets so bad it makes even really basic socialisation outside family something i avoid, it's just not worth it.

hahhaha killed his thread.